Viktor's Antics On Ice
by FanWriter83
Summary: Keeping a young skater with a strong love for ice under control isn't easy. Follow Viktor Nikiforov when he breaks some crazy rules in his own funny way.
1. Viktor Nikiforov's First Antics on Ice

**I decided to try something new :D**

 **Just to clarify the ages during this story.  
** Viktor: 16 years  
Yuuri: 12 years  
Yurio: 6 years  
Chris: 16 years  
Mila: 9 years  
Micky & Sara: 12 years  
Emil: 9 years

* * *

 **#1). I am not allowed to give Yuri a new name, only because my biggest fan shares the same name and people need to know who is who**

Viktor followed his coach as they walked down the crowd of fans who screamed his name and tried to climb over the fences as an attempt to grab him. Viktor smiled and waved in reply then most of the girls fainted to the pavement. One of them happened to be Minako and the boy that was with her looked upon her in shock.

"Minako?"

Viktor halts in his tracks then beams a smile at the boy then cries out in glee; "Hey there, little piglet. What is your name?"

The boy's jaws dropped then his face turned bright red and he answered, barely louder than a whisper; "Yuuri Katsuki."

Yakov turned red in rage when he saw the teenage skater coming towards him with his long silver hair blowing in the wind like a silky sheet as he dragged a young, dark haired boy along.

"Hey, Yakov! Meet Yuuri Katsuki, my number #1 fan!" Viktor cried merrily. "Can I keep him? I will take really good care of him. I always wanted a friend named Yuuri."

A little, six year old boy with blonde hair stormed towards them then yelled; "Hey, You already have me!"

"Yeah, but I said I always wanted a friend named Yuuri." Then the young skater strokes his chin and says thoughtfully; "I guess it's pretty confusing, isn't it? Wait, how about I call you Yurio?"

"WHHAAAT?!"

Viktor nods rapidly . "Yeah, sounds like a plan. From now on your name will be Yurio Plitsetsky and this is my number #1 fan, Yuuri Katsuki. Can I keep him, Yakov?"

Viktor met stares of pure rage.

* * *

 **#2). I am not allowed to spy on other people**

"Yurio, hide!" Viktor gasped dramatically then pulled the six year old behind a nearby street billboard and kneeled down. "I've saw that person yesterday standing at the exact same spot. He's up to something, I know it!"

The young teenager points at a dark haired man wearing a long trench coat standing at the side of the road.

"Look how his eyes look around. He's nervous because he's about to do something. Maybe it's a drug swap."

"Viktor, you're nuts! Please stop watching Sherlock. You're a skater for crying out loud, not a private detective!"

Viktor simply smiled. "But I could be, if I really want to. I mean, look at that toddler that's crossing the street."

Yurio followed the silver haired teenager's gaze and saw a toddler crossing the street as he held the hand of an middle-aged man.

"Just a toddler with his dad, Viktor!"

"Hey, little children can be really mean and sly, Yurio! I can speak out of experience because the biggest and baddest kid is sitting next to me."

"Hey, I am not-

Yurio didn't get the chance to finish his sentence because Viktor grabbed hold of his sleeve then dragged him along while whispering; "Trench coat man is on the move! Let's roll!"

Tippy-toeing from one street billboard to the next, Viktor followed the dark haired man in the long trench coat. Yurio had no other choice than follow the wannabe detective, reluctantly.

* * *

 **#3). I am not allowed to convince the journalists (and Yurio) that Yakov tried to eat Yurio**

"I'm about to let you all in on a very secretive piece of information," the silver haired ice skater whispered mysteriously as he stole glances to Yakov who stood not far away having a heated discussion with another coach.

The journalists looked at the boy with widened eyes then one of them gasped in awe; "You're finally gonna tell us how you keep your hair so shiny?"

Viktor takes no notice of the question and says instead; "This might come as a shock, but 'dear old' Yacov happens to eat little children."

The journalists looked at the teen with baffled looks.

"Yeah, yeah, ask Yurio," Viktor added then beckoned the six year to come closer. "Hey Yurio, tell them about that time Jakov bit your arm."

"I TOLD YOU, I WON'T LISTEN TO THAT NAME! Also, I can't recall that happened."

Viktor slaps his forehead as if he suddenly remembered something. "Ah yes, you were asleep when that happened. Oh well, now you know. Yakov tried to eat you."

"He was?" Yurio gasped and looked slightly frightened at his coach who finished his heated discussion with the other coach then met Yurio's eyes.

"There you are, you little…

"NO, DON'T EAT ME!" Yurio screamed in fear then sped away as fast as the wind while Viktor fell to the ground and started to roll around laughing his head off.

* * *

 **#4). No matter how much I need the money, I am not allowed to auction other people's stuff**

"No way, no! You always buy useless junk, Vitya!"

"But Yacov, this time I want to buy these new skates," Viktor whined while clinging onto his coach arm. "It has gold glitters and they only have one pair left in my size."

"I don't care, Vitya! Your parents gave me the job to keep an eye on your expenses. You buy more junk than a regular teenage girl."

Viktor plasters a sweet smile on his face and even tilts his head slightly as he cooed; "But Yacov, I just love those skates and I promise I will practice twice as hard than normal if you give me some money."

"NO! How about you first sell some junk before you move in new junk?"

"Yacov, we are talking about skates here, not junk."

"You heard me, Vitya!" Yacov growled then walked away.

Viktor sighed sadly, but then an idea popped up in his head and his signature smile returned.

"Now tell me, what can I get for this sweet, lovely cat? She's very cuddly, but I'm not quite sure if she's potty-trained because his owner, Yurio, still pees his pants as well."

Viktor got so caught up he didn't notice the original owners of the stuff he auctioned approach him with glares of utter rage.

* * *

 **#5). I am not allowed to fake cry so my #1 fan will help me break free**

Yuuri walked through the ice rink's hallway. Viktor texted him to meet up with him, but where was he? That's when he heard a soft tapping sound as if someone tapped on a window.

Yuuri stopped walking then turned his head to the broom closet where he saw poor Viktor peeking through the little window of the door.

"Yuuri, I knew you would come," Viktor cried out in relief and a single tear rolled down his cheek. "Yakov locked me in here because I tried to auction Yurio's cat and Mila's ballet shoes. I mean, how would I know she still uses them? Skaters don't use ballet shoes, they use skates. Anyway, can you bust me out?"

Yuuri thinks for a moment then shrugs, nonchalantly; "Erhm, sure?"

* * *

"YUUUUUUURRRRRIIIIII!"

Yuuri stops walking then darts his eyes around before finally looking up. That's when he sees Viktor leaning out one of the upstairs window.

"I'm so happy you could come so quickly, Yuuri!" Viktor cried out and Yuuri saw tears pop into the young skater's eyes. "There's a spare key under the doormat. Could you help yourself inside then come upstairs and break me free from my room? My papa grounded me because I threw a party last night."

Yuuri shrugs; "Meh, okay."

* * *

"Yoo hoo, little piglet!"

Yuuri turned around and found Viktor peeking through the little window of the broom closet, again. Viktor's eyes start to water and…

"Yuuri, can you bail me out? Yurio locked me in here because I draw cat whiskers on his face."

Yuuri sighed deep then walked to the door to bail Viktor out but suddenly someone wrapped an arm around him and forced him to walk away from the door.

"Hey there, pork cutlet! Please walk with me!" Yurio said then starts walking straight past the door and down the hall dragging Yuuri along.

Viktor squashes his face against the glass and sniffles sadly as he watches them disappear out of sight.

"Little piglet, come back. I need you."

* * *

 **#6). I am not allowed to refuse doing things by saying I'm not allowed to do it**

"Viktor, give me back my phone," Chris growled when he found his friend changing all the ring-tones.

Viktor, not taking his eyes off the phone, smirks; "Sorry, Chris, no can do."

"And why not?"

"Because I'm not allowed to."

"W-what?" Chris stuttered, clearly stunned as he watches Viktor leave with his phone and without another word.

* * *

Maccachin decided to take a closer look at Yurio's cat then gave it friendly nudges with her nose. The cat however didn't like it and started hissing and growling.

"Viktor, tell your dog to leave my cat alone!" Yurio yelled infuriated when he saw the young skater sitting on the floor beside the animals and doing nothing else than flipping through his Instagram.

Viktor, not taking his eyes off his phone screen rolled his eyes and answered; "Sorry, Yurio, but I can't."

"Why not?!"

"I'm not allowed to."

Yurio clenches his fists and starts boiling in anger. "Says who?!"

Viktor simply smiles.

* * *

"Why is it so hard to find my stuff around here?!" Yakov roared infuriated as he starts turning everything upside down in his office to find his pen.

Viktor pokes his head inside and smirks; "Because I took the liberty to clean it. It was a real mess in here. Yakov, you are a very messy and disorganized person."

"Be one to know one!"

"Hey, I'm am not…

"Where did you leave my pen?!" Yakov cut the young teen off.

Viktor thinks for a moment then says; "I'm really sorry, Yakov, but I can't tell you. It's against the rules."

"Say what now?!" Yakov roared with an aggravated growl.

* * *

Mila walks up to Viktor and sighs; "Everyone is talking about how you drive them crazy all day. Is it so hard to just obey once?"

Viktor sighs dramatically, hand against his chest then replies with sweet voice; "Mila, I really want to, but I'm not allowed to do things other people tell me to do."

* * *

 **#7). No matter how bored I am or how much fun it seems, I am not allowed to ride a basket down the stairs**

"Ready little piglet?" Viktor asked when he positioned himself behind a large laundry basket, keeping it balanced at the top of the stairs.

Yuuri wasn't really sure if his new friend's idea was such a good idea but still nodded then grasped both edges of the basket and leans forward to make room behind him for Viktor.

"GO!" Viktor cried in glee then slipped behind Yuuri, causing the basket with them inside, fly down the stairs with rapid speed. "WHOO-HOO!"

"WE ARE FLYING!" Yuuri yelled excitedly.

Chris sauntered inside through the front door then didn't even get the chance to look at what danger he was in before Viktor, Yuuri, and the basket crashed into him. Chris tumbled over.

"I am so sorry, Chris," Yuuri cried as he and Viktor skid with basket and all out the door.

Viktor cackled madly, especially when they proceed bouncing with basket and all into the pedestrians on the street.

* * *

 **#8). No matter how grumpy and lonely Yakov looks, I am not allowed to play matchmaker**

"Hiya, Yakov!" Viktor sang skating towards his coach who sat on the side bench looking like a storm was coming.

Choosing to use a careful tone of voice, Yakov asks; "What do you want, Vitya?"

"I have found the perfect lady for you."

"What?!"

"I took the liberty to make a profile for you on a dating site and…oh, ouch, let go of my ear!"

Minutes later…

"Oh, Yakov?!"

The old coach sighed angrily. "What?!"

"I've found you a lovely little lady to settle down with. She's so sweet and maybe she can teach you to be nice and…ouch, please don't."

An hour later…

"Yoo-hoo, Yakov! I've organized a date for you with-no, ouch, not…my…other…ear."

Four hours later…

"Hey Yakov!"

Yakov's angry glare said enough.

* * *

 **#9). I am not allowed to force Yurio into dressing up as Olaf**

"Hey, Yurio!" Viktor cried and skid onto the ice rink towards the little six year old, holding a white sheet and a carrot. Before the kid knew what happened he looked like a copy of Olaf. "Come on, say it, Yurio."

Yurio penetrated his eyes furiously into Viktor then growls; "No! I've let you humiliate me for far too many times! Enough is enough!"

"That's not what Olaf says," Viktor replied, a smile still plastered on his face then squeezed the little kid into a bear hug. "Winter's a good time to stay in an cuddle, but put me in the summer and…"

Realizing he won't get out of the hug any time soon, Yurio growled reluctantly; "I'll be a happy snowman."

"Well, you don't look much like a happy snowman," Viktor cried with a pouty lip then tried to force the little boy's lips, upwards.

"Vitya, leave Yuri alone!" Yakov growled off the side bench. "It's about time you start with your own routine!"

Viktor glances at his coach quizzically before bursting into an uproarious laughter. Yakov's eye starts to twitch and the young skater knows that's his cue to run.

* * *

 **#10). I am not allowed to challenge Chris to hold his breath until he turns blue**

Sara is doing her skate routine with her twin brother, Micky, when she sees Chris sit on the side bench with his cheeks puffed then asks worriedly; "Chris, what are you doing?"

Chris looks over then waves and points at his cheeks. Then he points at his throat and shakes his head.

"I think he's imitating a chipmunk that swallowed a largely sized nut and now he can't talk," Yurio commented, who stopped his own skate routine to look at the crazy sixteen year old.

Yuuri shook his head. "No, he's just being an idiot. He can't talk because he's trying to hold his breath." Chris applauded.

"He's kinda freaking me out!" Micky growled as they proceed watching Chris hold his breath for another minute.

Sara nods; "Yeah, please stop. You're going to kill yourself if you don't breath any time soon." For another twenty seconds they watched Chris and saw he slowly turned blue.

Yurio sighed and closed his eyes tiredly. "The adults is going to kill us if we just stand here watching Chris blow up from lack of air."

Micky nods agreed then Sara begs worriedly; "Chris, you can stop now."

Chris rolled his eyes at them, completely blue in the face and shakes his head.

"You proved your point! You can hold your breath, now stop!" Micky scowled.

After another twenty seconds, Chris finally picks up the hand mirror he had lying on the bench beside him and peers into it and discovers his face is blue. Satisfied he lets his breath out, breathing in and out with deep exhales. Then he slowly looks over to see three very confused faces.

"Okay, just when you think things can't get weirder," Yurio finally said, being the first one who dared to break the awkward silence. "Why did you do that for?"

"Are you consider trying to join the swim-team or something?" Micky asked.

Yuuri shook his head. "Nah, Viktor challenged him and said if he could hold his breath until he turns blue, he would show him his Eros, though, I'm pretty sure he only promised it so Chris would leave him alone."

Micky face palms himself and mumbles; "I think I never met someone that stupid."

Right on cue, Viktor storms onto the rink holding a flaming branch in his hands, screaming; "HEEEELLLPPPP, FIRE! FIRE! I LIKE FIRE BUT FIRE DOESN'T LIKE ME! HEEEELLLPPPP!"

Yurio looks at Micky, slowly, then smirks; "And you were saying?"

* * *

 **So, what did you think? Just leave a review or fav/follow if you want me to continue this story :D**


	2. Playing With Swords

**Thank you so much for favoring/following this story. And midnightsky0612, I hope you're okay xD And thank you for taking the time to leave a review :D**

* * *

 **#11) I am not allowed to play tag with dart arrows (I should know other people experience pain just like me)**

Yurio was skating up and down the rink then prepared himself for making the most perfect 'bunny hop jump' (A typical first jump beginning skaters learn) when he suddenly felt a sharp sting in his rear. Yurio then made the worst face-plant instead.

"Tag, you're it!" Viktor exclaimed ecstatically before running off again.

Yurio scowled in anger then glared over to his bum and saw a small red dart arrow sticking out of it. With a painful expression on his face he pulled it out then scrambled back up before going on a wild rampage to make Viktor feel his wrath. It didn't take long for him to find the teenage skater.

"Tag…your…it!" Yurio growled, emphasising each word by throwing an dart arrow towards the teenager as he ran after him.

Viktor tried to out-run Yurio and his supply of arrows as long as he could.

* * *

 **#12) I am not allowed to take notes of what everyone is doing or saying**

Viktor and Yuuri sit on the side bench watching the other skaters practice, both holding a pen and paper. Viktor strokes his chin and looks thoughtfully.

"Micky-is-doing-the-ballet-jump-completely-wrong!" Viktor said as he wrote each word down. Micky turned his head with a bemused look upon his face.

"Micky-looks-at-Viktor-with-an-odd-expression," Yuuri said out loud and scribbled each word onto his piece of paper.

"Yurio-rolls-eyes-at-Yuuri," Viktor said and scribbled it down.

"Yurio-sends-angry-growl-at-Viktor."

20 minutes later…

"Chris-is-trying-to-do-the-tuck-axel. Viktor-thinks-he-shouldn't."

"Yuuri-agrees-with-Viktor-and-Mila-pokes-her-nose."

"Mila-looks-at-little piglet-with-startled-expression, and-Viktor-is-the-cutest-boy-on-Earth."

"Yuuri-can't-agree-with-that-because-he's-the-cutest-boy."

"Viktor-disagrees!"

"Yuuri-agrees!"

"Viktor-disagrees!"

"Yuuri-agrees!"

"Viktor-disagrees-and-Chris-just-made-a-terrible-face-plant-on-the-ice."

"Chris-should-have-followed-Viktor's-and-Yuuri's-advice."

"Chris-should-listen-better."

"Yakov-is-getting-up-from-his-bench."

"Yakow-looks-angry-like-always."

"Yakov-is-walking-over."

"Yakov-tries-to-grab-Viktor-and-Yuuri-but-they-quickly-run-away-then-Yakov-runs-after-them-screaming-and-shouting-Russian-words-Yuuri-can't-understand-but-Viktor-can-and-they-are-too-nasty-to-scribble-down," Viktor scribbled onto his piece of paper as he and Yuuri run away as fast as the wind.

* * *

 **#13) No matter how necessary it seems, I am not allowed to take a sword to make myself look impressive**

The reporters are everywhere asking questions and flashing their cameras as they try to make a pictures of the skaters. Among the skaters is Russian's best skater, Viktor, and a grin creeps up his face as he looks at the crowd of reporters. He's a genius. Nothing will impress them more than Russian's most handsome teenager wielding a sword. But where do you get a sword when you need one?

The young teen looks around and realizes he's one block away from Yurio's grandpa's house. Last time he visited the old man with Yurio he couldn't stop talking about the ancient swords hanging on his study wall. He kept telling them they went from one Mr. Plitsetsky to another, meaning, one day they would be Yurio's.

Stealing a glance back to Yakov who was talking with the press, Viktor dashes off, heading over to Mr. Nikolai Plisetsky's house and sprints inside through the back door then down the hallway and into the study. Yurio's grandpa was lying on the couch snoring happily. Viktor clutches one of the swords then returns back to the crowd of reporters.

A few minutes later, Viktor saunters upon them while swinging the sword by his side noticeably. All the reporters and his fans look up as he approaches them, eyeing him with love-dazed eyes.

Before Viktor could reach the screaming fan-girls, a strong hand grasped his shoulder from behind then dragged him into opposite direction.

Viktor tried to object but when he looked up he saw a VERY angry Nikolai, so he shut his mouth obediently.

Nikolai passed Chris and the young Casanova send an flirtatious wink at Viktor who scowled back in reply.

* * *

 **#14) I am not allowed to invent a new sport that involves a sword and a muffin**

"I'm pretty sure Mr. Plisetski won't like it if we…

"Shut up, Pork Cutlet bowl," Yurio growled as Viktor swaggers up to stand parallel with him fifteen feet away. While clutching a blueberry muffin in his hand, Yurio inhales deep then chucks his pastry at Viktor.

The teen skater sees it coming and swings the sword to defend himself. The blade didn't chop the pastry in half, but it did boost it a good seventy feet into the air, hitting one of the upstairs windows.

It just so happened that the window the muffin hit was Yurio's grandpa's and it only took a matter of seconds before it opened and the old man poked his head out and scowled at the sheepishly grinning kids in the garden below him. Then, noticing the sword in Viktor's hand, Nikolai closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'll give you ten seconds!" the elderly man bellowed with booming voice.

"Thanks, Mr. Plisetski!" Viktor yelled over his shoulder as he, Yurio, and Yuuri dash off running like the wind.

Ten seconds later, a VERY angry Nikolai was chasing them.

"I told you he wouldn't like it!" Yuuri whined anxiously.

"Shut up, Pork Cutlet bowl and just keep running, unless you want him to turn you in a Katsudon-Pirozhki!"

* * *

 **#15) I am not allowed to have a fake duel, it doesn't make me look as cool as I think**

"MUWHAHAHAHAHA! Take that!" Chris laughed uproariously as he stabs the air with his sword as an attempt to scare Viktor away. "Get back!"

Viktor pretends to be scared as he falls back and cowers on the grass in Mr. Plisetski's backyard.

"You have overthrown me!"

Chris laughs loudly then stated proudly; "I have won!"

"Not on my watch!" Viktor cried out then grabs Chris's ankle and pulled him down then scrambles to his own feet and takes off running. He steals glances over his shoulder to see Chris scrambling after him. Viktor then jumped on the edge of the stone fountain in the middle of the backyard and pointed his sword at Chris.

Chris, not wanting to be one-upped by Russian's best skater, jumps on the edge as well and they proceed their duel.

"Hahahahaha!" Chris laughed right before Viktor threw him into the fountain. Viktor laughed like a mad man until he was dragged in as well, then as they proceed laughing their heads off, a dark shadow falls upon them.

Without even looking up, both teen skaters cry ecstatically;; "Hi, Mr. Plisetski, how are you doing?!"

Then the two boys get dragged off back to the house by the shrubs of their neck.

* * *

 **#16) I am not allowed to wax Chris's chest when he's sleeping**

The first thing Chris noticed when he woke up from his little nap before the short program competition, was the burning skin on his chest. The skater instantly pulled the sheets away and meets his bright red, and hairless chest abs. He didn't need much time to realize what had happened.

"VIKTOR, I'M SO GONNA SHOVE MY SKATE UP YOUR…!"

Chris had no time to finish his sentence as he heard Viktor faintly on the ice rink, laughing his head off while doing his routine for the short program competition.

* * *

 **#17) No matter how strongly I feel about letting things free, I am not allowed to throw one of Mr. Plisetski's swords in the pond**

Viktor clutched the sword tightly in his hands as he ran towards the pond in Yurio's and Nikolai's backyard then hurled it into the water while crying dramatically; "Swim free, my little darling!" Then he skipped off with a satisfied look on his face.

15 minutes later…

"Yurochka, where is the missing sword?"

Yurio looked at his grandpa then asked politely; "Why do you ask me, grandpa?"

"Because I know you took it."

Yurio crunches his little nose. "Look, I might have taken it last week, but this time it wasn't me. However, I did see Viktor dashing with it through the garden, again."

The elderly man dragged in a deep sigh then turned on his heels and bowled outside where he bumped into Viktor.

"Mr. Nikiforov, would you be so kindly to tell me what you did with one of my swords?"

Viktor laughed nervously. "Hehe…funny story…you see…the sword wanted freedom, sooo…

"YOU DID WHAAAAT?!" Yurio heard his grandpa bellow infuriated then saw him chase after Viktor with a very murderous glare.

* * *

 **#18) I am not allowed to drag Yuuri to a rock concert without informing Minako**

"Hiya, my sweet, lovely and adorable little piglet."

"V-Viktor," Yuuri stammered when he saw the silver haired skater skip inside his hotel room. "How did you know this was my room?"

Viktor shrugged. "All I had to do was wink at the nice lady behind the desk then it was very easy to look into the hotel register while she turned into a blushing puddle of jelly. Anyway, are you up for something fun?"

"Is someone going to be very angry at us afterwards?"

Viktor smirked. "Probably."

Later…

"YOU KNOW, I START LIKING THIS!" Yuuri hollered ecstatically from the top of his lungs, doing some ridiculous dance moves in the process then gulped his fourth can of beer down and cried out some battle roar along with the rock artists on stage.

"I TOLD YOU SO!" Viktor yelled back to make his voice audible then proceeds doing a wild tango with Yuuri as his partner.

Hours later…

"WE REALLY SHOULD DO THIS AGAIN!" Yuuri hollered when he and Viktor strolled down the streets heading back towards Yuuri's hotel, both swaying from left to right with every step.

The two boys suddenly halt when they see Minako standing out in the front of the hotel screaming all kind of things to the…Russian police…while being a sobbing mess.

"How hard is it to understand that someone kidnapped my little Yuuri!"

Yuuri tried to stop Viktor when he lifted his arm up, but Viktor was quicker and yelled excitedly as he waved; "Hiya everyone! I'm the person who kidnapped little piglet!"

"YOU!" Minako yelled infuriated when her eyes locked onto the two drunken skaters, then rolled her sleeves up and clenched her fists as she hurled herself towards Viktor. "How dare you to take him with you without notifying me first?!"

Viktor, running as fast as his drunken legs could carry him, whimpered anxiously; "But Minako, I returned him in one piece, didn't I?!"

"Yeah, in ONE drunken piece!"

 **#19) I am not allowed to pretend I'm sick so Yuuri will take care of me**

"Here you go, squeaky boy," Yuuri said, handing Viktor a bowl of homemade chicken soup then headed towards the door. "I promised my coach to catch up with my practice."

Viktor gasped dramatically. "But Yuuri, I'm sick! You're MY only friend so you have to take care of me."

"I can ask Chris to come over."

Viktor crunches his nose. "No, he can't keep his hands to himself." Viktor tilts his head to one side then reaches the bowl of soup towards Yuuri and whispers, extremely politely; "Would you like to blow my soup. My throat hurts too much."

Yuuri rolled his eyes then sat down onto the coffee table, took the bowl of soup and started to cool it down.

"And when you done that, I would like a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice, please," Viktor said then hugged Makkachin.

Yuuri rolled his eyes. "In your jewelled cup, your Majesty?"

"No, my glass made out of pure gold will do," Viktor replied with a blank stare."

* * *

"YUUUURI! Can I have a foot massage?" Viktor asked, looking at Yuuri who sits at the end of the couch, pretending to read a skating magazine. "This flu makes my bones-

"I can't take it anymore!" Yuuri exclaimed, throwing the magazine into a corner of the room. "Viktor, for four years you're my favorite figure skater, but even me, YOUR BIGGEST FAN has not only enough of your sneezing, your whining, but also your creepy high pitched voice. For the past hour I have done nothing else but massage your back, made you soup, walked Makkachin, and squeezed a ton of oranges!"

Viktor sends a charming smile. "Thank you, Yuuri, you're a really great nurse."

Yuuri instantly starts to blush. "I am?"

Viktor nodded then opened his mouth, but no words left his lips.

"Wait, what did you just say?"

"…"

"Viktor, you really need to speak louder."

"…"

"Wait, you lost your voice?" Viktor nods rapidly. "Great, that's just great. Stay here while I get to the pharmacy for some throat tonic."

And with that, Yuuri sprinted outside Viktor's house to race to the pharmacy as fast as he could. Makkachin looked at his owner warily.

"Brilliant, huh? Yuuri is going to be mine, all day long, Makkachin," Viktor cried merrily then scratched his dogs ears with a big grin on his face.

* * *

Yuuri walked back into the room with the throat tonic then saw Viktor lying on the couch while holding a big notepad.

 **"Hiya, Yuuri, you wanna fluff my pillows?"**

Yuuri took in a deep breath then walked towards Viktor and fluffed the pillows then put the back behind the skater's back. "Anything else?"

It took a few minutes but then finally Viktor's notepad says; **"Can I please have more of your delicious soup?"**

Without a word, Yuuri left to the kitchen to warm up some soup. Then Viktor's phone buzzed.

"Whoever you are, I can't talk long," Viktor whispered into his phone while stealing glances at the kitchen door.

"Hey, Vitya, it's me," Sara said. "I saw Yuuri and he said you had the flu."

Viktor snickered. "Actually, I'm faking it."

"What?! Why?"

"Because you know, it's kinda cool to see how far your number 1 fan will go for you."

Suddenly there's a loud gasp and Viktor's eyes shot back at the kitchen door where he found Yuuri, looking at him with wide eyes.

"V-Viktor. Y-You…

 **"Hiya, Yuuri, is that my soup?"** Viktor quickly wrote down, smiling nervously.

"You're faking, aren't you?!"

 **"No, of course not. You know I would never do that to my biggest fan."**

"Cut the crap with those notes, Viktor. I'm out of here!"

Yuuri put the bowl of soup onto the coffee table then stomped to the front door angrily. Viktor jumped to his feet to stop his number 1 fan, but his attempts were futile. Yuuri left without giving him a second glance.

"Yuuri, I'm sorry! Come back, I need you," Viktor tried then sighed sadly and looked at the bowl of soup on the coffee table. A smirk curled his lips back upwards. "Oh well, he at least warmed the soup up for me."

Viktor took the bowl and spoon then cuddled comfortably onto the couch with Makkachin, who pleaded with her eyes for some soup.

* * *

 **#20) I am not allowed to have a secret meeting and discuss flavours of Baby lips**

"Did you bring the things I asked you for?" Viktor grinned when Yuuri returned back into their Super-Secret Clubhouse.

Yuuri nods. "How about you?"

Viktor nods then both boys emptied their pockets and a few seconds later it was raining colorful tubes. Viktor took one then cried, excitedly; "Ooh, Cherrie me. This flavour is amazing. The silver haired skater smelled at the red and orange tube, sighing dreamily.

"I always favoured Pink Quartz," Yuuri commented, waving the sparkly tube of lip balm in Viktor's face. "It's a close tie with my other favorite, Crystal Kiss."

Viktor's eyes sparkled. "Oh, and Berry Bomb!"

"Don't forget Grape Vine!"

"I am so glad we found this clubhouse to discuss the flavours of Baby lips."

Yuuri nods rapidly. "Me too, though, I think Sara will kick our butts if she finds out we took her lip balm."

"Yeah, hehe, and…

Suddenly Sara poked her head inside the clubhouse.

"Oh no, how did you find our Super-Secret Clubhouse?" Viktor gasped in surprise, trying to hide the tubes behind his back.

Sara rolled her eyes. "You guys are beneath the dining table with a blanket over it! Did you guys really think I would be so stupid and not find you here?!"

I told you that under the stairs would have been a better Super-Secret Clubhouse," Yuuri whispered annoyed.

"Well, sorr-eeeeey!" Viktor said with an offended eye roll.

Then both boys receive a pummel to the head from Sara, because she doesn't appreciate it when people touch her stuff.

* * *

 **What did you think? and which one is your favorite? I also want to let you know that I'm sort off taking requests for this story, meaning, you can send me some ideas you would like to see :D**


	3. Viktor's First Antics in Hasetsu, Japan

**Thank you so much for favoring/following this story. midnightsky0612, and the two guest reviewers, thanks for dropping a review. It means a lot.  
**

* * *

 **#21) I am not allowed to travel (totally out of the blue) to Hasetsu without notifying anyone**

"Makkachin, we are going on an adventure!" the silver haired teen said, looking at his dog when he tossed a few of her toys into his suitcase before sitting on it to close it properly.

Makkachin had no idea what 'adventure' means, but by the sound of her owner's voice it must be something like 'fun' or 'walk'. And she loves those 'words'.

Viktor shushed the brown poodle gently when she jumped around his feet in joy then cooed; "We have to be quite, Makkachin, otherwise our grumpy coach will try to stop us."

And with that, Viktor Nikiforov slipped with his dog out the door, quietly. Then, hours later, he finally sets foot on Japanese soil, retrieves his brown poodle and suitcase then starts his journey to Yu-topia, the last operating bathing resort in Hasetsu.

Yuuri, still not aware of the arrival of his most favorite skater, sits in front of the TV with Minako, both sobbing loudly when suddenly a blur of brown curls jumped onto Yuuri's lap and tried to lick his face, wildly.

"Don't, Vicc-wait, you're not a pup anymore? How?"

"Hiya everyone!" a cheerful voice said then Yuuri and Minako turned around alarmed. Their mouths dropped agape, because there stood Russian's most famous figure skater, waving at them with a bright smile on his face.

Yuuri finally found his voice and gasped; "V-Viktor. How did you get here?"

"With the plane, duh."

"Soo…you escaped?" Minako asked warily.

"Yes. Yes I did!" Viktor grinned proudly then frowns; "But wait, why are you two crying?"

Yuuri blushes lightly then replies, eyes fixated on the floor; "Because…well…we heard you were kidnapped and…

"Wait, who says I was kidnapped?" Viktor frowns then, slowly, his eyes dart at the TV screen where he saw the same news Yuuri and Minako were watching right before he arrived.

 _"Vitya, we don't know if you will hear or see this, but we will do everything to find you,"_ Yakov said with tears stained face. " _Also, whoever stole this precious skater from us, please return him to his family and friend's loving arms. He's still a child, so please don't hurt him, BECAUSE IF YOU DO DARE TO HARM ONE HAIR ON HIS HEAD, I'LL BE COMING FOR YOUR HEAD AND WILL SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR…_

"Woah!" Viktor gasped astonished when Yakov's, half-Russian-half English cus words were censored with tiny beeps. "Seriously, Yakov always makes a drama out of everything. All I wanted was to visit my most favorite fan—wait, did you two cry because you thought I was kidnapped? Aw, that's so sweet and cute!"

And with that, the Russian figure skater envelopes both Minako and Yuuri into a tight bear hug, clutching them forcefully against his chest while, on TV, more off Yakov's harsh words get bleeped due to censorship.

Yuuri saw, while being hugged to pulp by Viktor, the anger in Yakov's eyes and peed his pants. It would be only a matter of seconds before his face would show on the cover of the newspaper as the number 1 suspect who 'kidnapped' Russia's precious figure skater.

* * *

 **#22) I am not allowed to adjust the tint of the TV in Yuuri's house**

Viktor stops hugging Minako and Yuuri then grabs the TV remote and starts adjusting the tint, making all the people green. Yuuri starts to scratch his head, confused. "Ehm, V-Victor? Why are you doing that?"

"Because I like it this way," Viktor replied with his signature smile.

Minako shook her head in utter astonishment.

* * *

 **#23) In reference to rule 21, I am not allowed to feed Yakov's fear by pretending I am kidnapped by a notorious gang leader**

Yuuri and Minako were in the back discussing whether or not they should inform authorities that Viktor was safe. Meanwhile, in the front room, Viktor was still watching mesmerized at the TV screen where he saw his coach yelling some threats at his 'kidnappers' on the world wide news bulletin. Then the Russian skater got an idea.

"How about we make a prank call, Makkachin," Viktor grinned then grabbed his phone. He dialled his coach number then waited for a moment and saw his coach, on screen, grab his phone from his coat's inside pocket.

"YES?!"

Putting up his best 'fake frightened' voice, Viktor whispers; "Yakov, is that you?"

"Vitya, my boy! Please tell me where you are!" Yakov gasped into his end of the phone. Viktor holds in a fit of laughter. "J-Just tell me where you are and I will send the politsiya!"

"I don't know where I am. It's so incredibly dark in here, and the people who took me talk in some sort of foreign language I can't understand. I tried to fight, Yakov, but they were too strong."

"They? How many are there?!"

Viktor steals glances at the back where Yuuri and Minako were still debating then smirks into the phone, "I can only see two, and one of them is incredibly hot. Yako, is it weird for me to fall in love with the person who kidnapped me?"

Viktor saw his coach's face, on screen, turn red in rage and even a vein starts to throb on the side of his head. "Of course it's weird to fall in love with your kidnapper, Vitya! J-Just tell me how 'they' look like. Maybe 'they' are in the polisiya's database."

"Can I describe the hot looking one first?"

"Ugh, if you must!" Yakov roared while swaying his arms madly to keep the reporters and their cameras away.

Viktor witnessed it all on live TV and smirked proudly. "Alright, the hot looking one has short dark hair that's slicked back with gel. I'm kidding, it's just short messy hair but it would look so much cooler if he just combed it back. Also, he should get rid of that ugly glasses. I have no idea why he's wearing them in the first place, because I saw him skate without them so this means he can see without them, right?"

"So…he's a skater, wears glasses and…

"Yes! Blue glasses. And I think he's an notorious gang leader."

"Right. So, skater, blue glasses, dark messy hair, and a notorious gang leader."

"Yes. And he's kinda good looking if you picture him without the glasses, the chubby tummy and with slicked back hair," Viktor listed with a grin.

"V-Viktor, what are you doing?!"

"Oh, hey little piglet! I decided to feed Yakov's fear by calling him and tell him I'm kidnapped by an notorious gang leader also known as Yuuri Katsuki," Viktor said ecstatically.

On screen, Yakov grabbed the nearest camera reporter and used his mike to yell with booming voice; "VITYA, GET YOUR BUTT BACK TO RUSSIA RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR ELSE I WILL BOOK A FLIGHT AND COME OVER THERE TO RIP JAPANESE YURI'S LIMPS FROM HIS BODY, ONE BY ONE!"

Yuuri's face turned pale as a sheet, but Viktor simply smirked nonchalantly; "No worries, Yuuri. Barking dogs never bite."

* * *

 **#24) I am not allowed to ask Yuuri if my pants make me look fat (I should know he can't handle it)**

Yuuri was eating his breakfast when Viktor dashed into the room.

"Little piglet, can I ask you a question?"

Yuuri, sensing he will most likely regret it but still wants to be polite as well, replies hesitantly; "Uhm, sure."

Viktor starts to beam like the sun then turns his back towards Yuuri, lifts his long silky hair up and asks; "Does this pants make my butt look fat?"

Yuuri, who just took a gulp of his orange juice, spits it out again in a perfect plume when Viktor starts to 'flash' his butt at him. The poor skater's face turns bright red and becomes momentarily speechless.

"Yuuri?" Viktor said when he didn't receive a rely then turn his head and saw a wide, dreamy smirk creep up on Yuuri's face. "Little piglet!"

Yuuri snaps from his dreamy daze and stutters; "Y-Yes, V-Viktor?"

"I need your answer. Does this pants make my butt look fat?"

Yuuri's eyes slowly wander back down to Viktor's 'flashing' butt. "I-I…" Yuuri stammered while a bit of drool escaped from the corners of his mouth. "I-I…"

"Yuuuri?! Are you even paying attention? I need to know if this pants-

Viktor could not finish his question because Yuuri made a break for it while yelling; "Viktor, please stop torturing me! Your butt is perfectly round and shaped like a peach!"

"Thank you, little piglet! I knew you would always find the right words to boost up my self-esteem!" Viktor cried ecstatically when Yuuri sprinted out the door and all the way to Ice Castle, the only spot where he always succeeds clearing his mind.

* * *

 **#25. No matter how much I want a career change, I'm not allowed to consider to become a spy**

"Dun dun, dun dun, dundun dundun. Dundun, dun dun, dundun, dun dun," Viktor hummed in whisper voice as he summersaulted across the floor then ducks away and hides behind a nearby wall before peeking around it and scanning the neighbouring room for intruders. "Hmmm, nothing." Viktor stroked his chin then got up with a deep disappointed sign and howled; "YUURI!"

Yuuri comes running into view, panting exhausted; "What is it?"

"There are no problems here, young sir Katsuki," Viktor said importantly. "That's my report for this room."

Yuuri is confused. "Er, you only yelled for me to tell me this?"

"Yes! Now, shoo, shoo. I have an important business to do." And with that, Viktor steered his baffled fan out of the room then resumed back to his 'mission.'

Viktor continued his humming as he flipped through the air and out the window then lands delicately in the garden outside and readies his arms for danger. As he scans the garden he realises there isn't anyone but himself.

"LITTLE PIGLET!" Viktor screeched again and right on cue, Yuuri barrelled out the door into the garden wearing nothing but one of the inn's green bathrobes.

"Viktor, what's the matter?" Yuuri called out worriedly. Viktor rolled his eyes.

"Nothing is wrong, young sir Katsuki. No problems at all. Don't you think that's a little suspicious?"

Yuuri tightens the rope around his waist then sighs; "I know I will regret asking this question, but what are you doing?"

Viktor puffs his chest. "I'm a Russian spy!"

Yuuri stared at his favorite skater as if he's mad then shook his head. "Viktor, just go back inside and do whatever Chris is doing."

"Wait, Chris is here too?"

"Yes. He arrived this morning claiming he missed you so much then asked me if he could stay here for a few days as well. Anyway, he's inside right now being quiet for once and…"

Suddenly realizing how strange it is that Chris is quiet and knowing he was probably doing something bad, Yuuri glared at Viktor one more time then rushed back into the resort and screamed; "Chris, whatever you're doing is probably wrong, so stop right this instant!" And with that, Yuuri bowled into his room just in time to find Chris drawing moustages on his Viktor Nikiforov posters.

Viktor, still searching for danger, resumed where he had left off, humming; "Dun dun, dun dun, dundun dundun. Dundun, dun dun, dundun, dun dun," as he tip-toed down the garden.

* * *

 **#26. I am not allowed to have an open mike night in Yu-topia's back yard**

Minako promised Mr. and Mrs. Katsuki to keep the three teens out of trouble as they had a romantic date, but sadly she didn't succeed. The second she heard racket coming from the backyard she knew she had failed and all that there was left to do for her was rushing over and push herself through the crowd she met once she set foot outside the resort.

Minako finally reached the center of the big crowd and saw Yuuri, Viktor, and Chris dance wildly on an enormous stage.

"YUURI, GET DOWN FOR THERE RIGHT NOW!" Minako tried to yell over the loud music.

Yuuri is too drunk to notice her then brings the mike to his lips and starts to sing out his awesome ballad; "I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!"

Viktor, deciding it was his turn, steals the mike from his friend and sings loudly; "I'M SO SEXY AND..

Chris smacks the silver haired boy to the back of his head then tries to steal the mike, but Viktor refuses to share the crowd's attention and a struggle for the mike ensues. Yuuri quickly joins in as well.

"I'M SO SEXY AND-" Viktor sang, but the sound is gone.

Minako had unplugged the mike, and shoots her best friend's son and his two crazy guests the iciest glare, imaginable.

* * *

 **#27) I am not allowed to clutch things protectively**

Viktor had found himself a new toy, and it's called; blanket. And of course, it was not just some ordinary, everyday blanket. It was Yuuri's blanket. The one from his bed.

Yuuri however, didn't seem to care. He didn't mind if his favorite figure skater played with it. Wrapped himself in it. Cuddled himself onto the couch with it, as long he returned it back to him every night. And he did.

But then, one night, it wasn't there when Yuuri went to bed. Trying to find out what his friend had done with it, Yuuri strolled up to Viktor's room. Everything seemed quiet in there.

Yuuri slowly opened the door then peered inside and wanted to call out Viktor's name when suddenly the door slammed shut, right in his face.

"YOU NEVER GET IT BACK, LITTLE PIGLET! IT'S MINE NOW!" Viktor's deafening voice hollered from inside as Yuuri rubbed the sore spot on his nose.

"Viktor, please, I need it," Yuuri pleaded, opening the door again. This time Viktor sits on his bed, clutching HIS blanket protectively. His eyes stare at him as icy cold daggers. "Can I have it back?"

"MINE!" Viktor cried, clutching it tighter when Yuuri approached him and tried to reach his hand out to grab it.

"It's a cold night, Viktor. I need it." Viktor keeps shaking his head rapidly as he clutched it even more. "Please, Viktor?"

An hour later…

Mrs. Katsuki walked past Viktor's open bedroom door when she heard snores coming from inside. When she peeked into the room she found her son, lying on Viktor's bed rolled up like a sausage in his own blanket while Viktor lied beside him, clutching both Yuuri and the blanket in his arms, snoring happily.

"Mom, help," Yuuri tried to gasp, but it wasn't loud enough and she turned the light off before shutting the door behind her, leaving her poor son in their guest's tight grasp.

* * *

 **#28) I am not allowed to take a midnight bath in the hot springs**

Yuuri takes a midnight walk through the hot springs area when suddenly…

*Splash, splash, splash, splash*

Yuuri walks slowly to the nearest hot spring

"Hiya, Yuuri! Wanna to join me?"

Yuuri's eyes nearly popped from his sockets and his jaws dropped when he saw Viktor, sitting in the hot spring, waving at him with a mad smile.

"V-Viktor, it's 3am in the morning! What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing here at 3am in the morning, Yuuri?" Viktor echoed back with a smirk.

Yuuri clears his throat then replies, casually; "I couldn't sleep so I decided to talk a walk."

"That's a coincidence! I couldn't sleep either. So, you wanna join me?"

Yuuri shook his head the tries to scurry away, but an arm wrapped around his shoulders from behind.

"Hey there, my fellow figure skate bitches. Do you guys mind if I'll join?" Chris asked, holding three bottles of beer.

"Well, actually…" Yuuri tried, but Chris was slightly faster and joined Viktor in the hot springs while dragging Yuuri with him.

* * *

 **#29) I am not allowed to add sleeping pills into Chris's beer.**

Chris came back from a toilet break, not knowing that Viktor and Yuuri spiked his bottle of beer. A few minutes later, Chris fell over.

Viktor and Yuuri grinned, anticipating what they could do to him.

* * *

 **#30)** **I am not allowed to talk about things that don't exist.**

"How is your xilophinolocogohus symptom, Minako," Viktor asked with a concerned expression on her face.

"Xilophinawhatta?" Minako frowned then rolled her eyes. "Viktor, please, there is no such things as Xilo…. Whatever you said."

* * *

"Has anyone seen my sanity," Viktor asked nervously, walking into the front room looking all over the place.

Chris, who happens to being sitting in the front room watching TV with Bruce snorts at Viktor's question. "Didn't Yakov tell you that you aren't allowed to talk about things that don't exist?"

* * *

"So, Yuuri, how is your love life going?" Viktor asked, wiggling his eyebrows and cupped his chin in his hand.

Yuuri looked up, blushing madly.

Chris turns to Viktor and rolls his eyes, then laughs; "Oh, sweet, sweet Viktor. You should know by now to not talk about things that don't exist."

* * *

 **What did you think? and which one is your favorite? I also want to let you know that I'm sort off taking requests for this story, meaning, you can send me some ideas you would like to see :D**

 **also, guest,** **thank you for the request. It means a lot when you say I'm a good writer. I allowed your idea to roll through my head, and I was thinking to give them an OC child. I always wanted to mix yoi with mermaids/mermen, but I don't know if anyone would be interested to read something like that xD So, yeah, basically my idea is that Yuuri and Viktor 'adopt' a little merman trying to raise him like a normal land-person, but then his past catches up with him trying to take him away from our favorite skaters.**

 **Anyway, let me know what you think about this idea. I really want to try something different than all the other writers who use Yurio as their child. There's nothing wrong with it, it's just that I hate copying other ideas and want something new/fresh LOL**


	4. Meeting Mr Nikiforov, Viktor's papa

**#31) I am not allowed to become an Russian Villain and 'kidnap' Yurio's cat**

"MUWAHAHAAA!" the silver haired figure skater guffawed while he enveloped a hairy, black and white animal in his arms as he ran away.

Later…

"YAKOV!" Yurio bowled towards his coach in tears then clings onto his waist and cries hysterically; "Yakov, I've looked everywhere, I REALLY did, but someone took my precious Vodka!"

Lilia who just happened to be in a conversation with Yakov, threw an disapproving look at her ex then spits venomously; "Yakov, what are you doing with those children?! First Vitya returns drunk from a rock concert and now this kid cries his eyes out because someone stole his Vodka! You are the worst surrogate parent Mr. Plisetski and Mr. Nikiforov hired!"

"I am not their surrogate parent, my love, but their coach. There's a difference. Also, Vodka is a cat!"

"Yes! And someone took her!" Yurio cried out, hysterically.

"Yurio, stop it! You should look better because who would be crazy enough to steal that flea ball?!" Yakov growled, then, right on cue, his phone started to buzz. Yakov took the phone from his jacket pocket, glared at the ID screen and saw it was Viktor. "Vitya, you better be on the rink practicing, because if I'll find out you're with-

"MUWAHAHAAA!" a voice guffawed uproariously, cutting Yakov's threat off. "Today is the day I finally turned into an Russian Super Villain, my dear Yakov!"

"Cut the crap, Vitya!" the coach roared into the phone, not taking notice how his ex-wife shook her head in disapproval for his way of handling the situation.

Viktor smirks into the phone. "You wanna know what it is that makes me a Russian Super Villain?"

"What I want is for you to get that ass of yours on the ice before I-

"A cat," Viktor replied, totally ignoring his coach's angry tone of voice.

Yakov is stunned. "A what?!"

"A cat, Yakov. Everyone knows a Russian Super Villain has a cat. I don't really know why they do, because these fur balls loose so many hair and they scratch you when they aren't pleased with you. Although, maybe that's the reason why. Maybe they send their cat to their enemies to scratch their faces off. But anyway, becoming an Russian Super Villain is something I always wanted to become. And since I'm already Russian and only needed a cat to become what I've always wanted to become, I stole Yurio's cat, Vodka."

Yurio, who's hearing was well enough to hear Viktor confess he stole his cat, snatches the phone from his coach and roared aggravated; "VIKTOR!"

"Hiya, Yurio," Viktor cooed into his end of the phone, which angered Yurio even more. "I take it that you found out I took Vodka?"

Yurio dragged in a deep breath then yells; "You better bring her back to me, you long haired…

"Sorry, no can do, MUWHAHAHHAAA!" And with that, Viktor hung up the phone then starts to stroke the hissing and growling cat on his lap and looked down at the spot where his bare feet are stationed. "Little piglet, that feels actually really good what you're doing there. How about you massage them for another five minutes then make me some food, okay?"

Yuuri nods rapidly, because he doesn't care whatever he has to do as long he gets to be around with Viktor Nikiforov. What does a number 1 fan want more, right?

* * *

 **#32) I am not allowed to associate with girls who claim to be from the future**

Celestino, Yuuri's coach, decided it was about time he get to know his skater's new friend, Viktor Nikiforov. He took the two boys into the city of Hasetsu then, mistakenly, turned away from them. Ceasing the opportunity the two boys disappear from Celestino's sight.

After making it far enough away from Celestino, Viktor halted his sprint then waited for Yuuri to catch up with him. When he finally did, a girl with long dirty blond hair and glasses approached them.

"I don't know where I am! Can you guys help me out?"

Viktor nodded. "Yeah, you're in Hasetsu."

"Hasetsu? This doesn't look like the Hasetsu I know," the girl mumbled then widened her eyes in astonishment. "Wait, does this mean-what year is this?"

Yuuri frowned. "Ehm, 2005…"

"YES, IT WORKED!" the girl cried in victory, then noticing the two boys again and their odd looks; "Sorry, my name is Annie and I just came from 2016. Isn't this amazing? Wait, you're Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov."

"You know us?" Viktor asked. "But how?"

"Because I'm from the future, duh. You're going to be Yuuri's coach then he does your signature jump and you want to surprise even more so you run up to him and kiss knock him to the ground."

"Kiss knock him to the ground?"

"Yeah, it's hard to explain but the idea is that you jump into his arms then as you fall you hug and kiss him. Cute, right?"

Viktor nodded in glee. "You hear that, Yuuri? We k-

"Viktor, you really believe her? For all we know she escaped from a nearby asylum and-

"Are there any asylums in Hasetsu?"

"Well…no, but…

"No buts, Yuuri, she's from the future. Come on. We need to tell Celestino that one day I'm going to take over his job." And with that, Viktor grabbed Yuuri's and Annie's arms then skipped off dragging them along.

Meanwhile, Celestino was walking down the streets looking for the two boys when they suddenly come bowling from around a nearby shop, accompanied by a girl.

"Hey Celestino!" Viktor cried happily as he pranced towards the dark haired coach then pointed at the girl. "Meet Annie, she's from the future and guess what. I'm going to be Yuuri's coach one day!"

Celestino dragged in a deep tired sigh, then rolled up his sleeves and grabbed Viktor's ear. "Not on my watch, boy. Wait until I tell Yakov about what you just did and I bet he will ground you for life!"

* * *

 **#33)** **I am not allowed to give random people tasks to do in a city that doesn't exist**

"Hi Yakov!" Viktor waved madly at his coach who glared back at him, confused. "You are one of the lucky people who earned a job in Victuuri-topia." Yakov just growled then sits down onto another bench watching the skaters practice. Viktor and Yuuri shared an identical grin.

"Don't you ask us why?" Yuuri asked as he sat down beside Yakov and Viktor took the spot on the right side of his coach. The grumpy coach decided to ignore the two, but it turns out it's hard.

Viktor grins; "We chose you…well, because you just entered the rink."

"Yeah, everyone who enters the rink for the next hour, will automatically receive a job in Victuuri-topia," Yuuri added importantly.

Viktor nodded. "Yes, and your new job is jester." Yakov feels the anger boil up inside of him. "Your old, grumpy life is behind you." Yakov shoots an dirty look at his young skater. Viktor ignored it though. "You are forced to sing, dance and make jokes."

A few minutes later, the bench they sat on became more and more crowded as new employees for Vituuri-topia entered the rink and were forced to sit with them. They weren't happy at all. Especially when they heard what their job was.

Sara: Viktor's and Yuuri's personal pedicure assistant.

Emile: Gardener.

Chris: Viktor's and Yuuri's personal lackey.

Micky: Poo scooper, statue cleaner, and gum buster. What's a gum buster, you ask? Someone who makes the streets of Victuuri-topia free from gum, because a clean Vituuri-topia, makes a VERY happy Viktor and Yuuri.

* * *

 **#34)** **I am not allowed to act smart. Some people can't handle the idea of me being smart**

"Ahem, ahem," Viktor cleared his throat haughtily as he grasped a book from his sports bag. Yurio, Yakov, Chris, Emile, Micky, and Sara look up and rolled their eyes when they saw him, wearing Yuuri's glasses, which he had stolen from him.

"What are you doing?" Yakov growled, knowing it can't be something good. "You have perfect vision."

"Smart people wear them," Viktor simply replied.

Sara snickers. "And why are YOU wearing them?"

Viktor gave her a dirty look before he pompously stuck his nose in the air and harrumphs; "I'll have you know, dear lady Crispino, this rubbish you're producing is maddening." Everyone stared at Viktor, mouths agape.

"Viktor, what's wrong with you?" Emile asked nervously.

"Nothing is wrong with me. You must be mistaken. Now, if you'll all excuse me, I must go and read my book of plants in Victuuri-topia."

As Viktor left, the crowd stared at one another in horror. "Does he even know what he's saying?" Micky finally dared to ask. "Those words were pretty advanced for him."

"I know," Chris agreed, looking stunned. "He's never been this…smart." The crowd froze and looked at one another, again. Smart?

Micky screamed, Chris fainted, Sara dropped her bottle of water, Yurio choked on his Piroshky, Emile mumbled over and over to himself; "This can't be happening."

"What's wrong with the world?!" Yakov hollered.

"HAS ANYONE SEEN MY GLASSES?!" Yuuri exclaimed as he scrambled towards the rink, blind as a bat.

* * *

 **#35) I am not allowed to sneak out at night and hunt for the legendary bigfoot in the forest around Lilia's house**

"Look," Viktor hissed, pointing at the ground and the little boy who was with him, Yurio, noticed a large footprint. The two of them snuck out of large house at the edge of the forest for a midnight field trip. Lilia, who was supposed to watch them was nowhere to be found, so they figured she wouldn't notice them missing.

"From whom is it?" Yurio asked.

Viktor shrugs; "Probably something or someone with a big foot. It took a couple of minutes for it to sink in and for their eyes to glint.

"It must be from the legendary bigfoot," they both said at the same time. And with that, the children continued following the trail of footprints.

Five minutes later the trail comes to a stop and Viktor held up his hand. Yurio stopped abruptly. "The trail ends here," Viktor mumbled and right on cue, there was some rustling from inside the bushes where the footprints ended.

They give each other a glance, then, shout a battle cry as they both charged into the bush and tackled Lilia, who had noticed them missing and went looking for them.

* * *

 **#36) I am not allowed to play possum**

Chris walked towards the rink to start his practice and as he came closer and closer to the rink he was surprised to hear that there was no sound coming from the normally noisy area. Suspicion creeped up on him, then took a quick dash, and was totally surprised when he found Viktor and Yuuri lying on the ice, not moving at all. Chris rolled his eyes.

"Haha, very funny!" he growled but there was no response. Chris sighed then scurried onto the ice towards them. "Guys, are you alright?" Still nothing. "SPEAK!" Okay, now Chris becomes slightly worried. He reached the two bodies then nudges them with the toe of his shoe, one at the time.

Yuuri's eyes snapped open. "AAAAAAHHHHH!" he screamed and right on cue, Viktor screamed his lungs out as well while jumping to his feet and tackled Chris to the floor.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Chris screamed and tried to wrestle the silver haired skater off of him.

"Oh, it's just Chris," Yuuri said with a disappointed look on his face. "You can get off him now."

"What was that about?" Chris asked, panting heavily, sitting straight up and glared at the two skaters before him.

"Training," Viktor replied with a bright smile. Yuuri nodded.

Chris raises his eye brows "Training?"

"Yes, we were pretending to be possums and attack our enemy's," Yuuri started to explain. "We pretended to be possums so that our enemy's come closer so we could attack them."

Chris frowns; "But only I came by."

"My point exactly." Yuuri beamed a mischievous grin at Chris.

Chris's eyes start to twitch.

Two skaters run off the rink, urgently.

* * *

 **#37) am not allowed to stick my head into a pot and tell everyone I'm 'politely searching for my identity'. Not even if I do it very politely.**

"Aaauughhhhh!" Viktor screamed, running into Mr. Plisetski's study. His scream was muffled by the pot on his head.

Yurio, who sits on the couch, looks up, and cocks his head. "Nice pot you've got there."

"Well, thank you," Viktor replied, smiling proudly from inside the pot. (Not that anyone could see it) "I was just politely searching it." Yurio raises his eyebrow questioningly.

"Politely searching it? For what?"

"My identity."

"Your identity?"

"Yes, I think I might have lost it somewhere so I'm looking for it now and guess what. I think I just may have found it."

Yurio sighs, shaking his head worriedly. "Viktor?"

"Yes," Viktor said and turned his head towards Yurio.

"Your head is stuck again, isn't it?"

Viktor sighs and hangs his head down. "Yeah."

"Serious Viktor, that's the fourth time this week," Yurio said, shaking his head before standing up and helping Viktor to get rid of the pot. "Do you have any idea how much trouble you will be in? How do we explain to my grandpa that we broke another pot?"

Viktor shrugged in reply.

* * *

 **#38) I am not allowed to steal a tiger**

Mr. Nikiforov finally got to spend some quality time with his son, because Yakov allowed the boy to take a few days off. Normally the old coach wasn't that generous with giving Viktor breaks, but after the recent stuff he had to put up with, it was about time Mr. Nikiforov did something about his son's behavour.

Mr. Nikiforov walked down the house, whistling a happy tune. But that's over soon he heard a wild roar coming from outside. The hair in the back of his neck rises and his knees start to shake in fear.

Slowly and cautious, the poor man scurried to the back door and peered through the window. His entire face turned pale in a flash at the sight of a huge tiger, lingering through their backyard.

"Do you like it?" Viktor suddenly asked from behind his dad, making the poor man jump almost a mile high. Viktor smirked.

"Where…did…you…get…it?" Mr. Nikiforov stammered, trying to sound as angry and aggravated as he felt but failed, miserably. Mr. Nikiforov placed his hand on his chest to control his racing heart.

"From the zoo," Viktor replied with a cheeky smug. "Tigers supposed to live in the wild, not behind bars."

Still panting heavily, Mr. Nikiforov asks sarcastically; "And how do you figure that?"

"Well, I was walking with Yuuri and Chris past the tiger cages and I just couldn't help notice the sad look in his eyes as he looked at us," Viktor replied with a tearful look on his face. "I suddenly felt what this tiger felt. For him that cage was just like my room after being banished in it for a day, except he's banished in that cage and only gets out to perform." A tear dropped from Viktor's eyes. Mr. Nikiforov didn't really know whether he should roll his eyes or feel proud that his son was against animal abuse. "Besides, I still have to apologize to Yurio for 'kidnapping' his cat, so I figured the best way to apologize is by giving him a play-mate for Vodka."

Mr. Nikiforov slapped his forehead. "Viktor, even though they are kinda related, tigers are wild and will eat cats."

"Nah, don't worry. Sheba is the most adorable pet tiger you've ever seen. Watch." And with that, Viktor tapped with his fingers on the glass of the back door window. The tiger looked up then leaped over to the door, jumping against it like an overgrown dog. Suddenly her ears turned, followed by her head then her entire body as she dashed back into the bushes.

"And she makes a perfect watch dog," Viktor said, beaming like the sun. Suddenly they hear a loud scream, followed by an VERY scared Yurio running across the garden with the tiger in tow. "Hey Yurio, you like her?! She's yours!" Viktor screamed through the glass.

"You're a psychopath!" Yurio screamed, running as fast as his little legs could carry him.

Viktor shakes his, disappointed. "Seriously, why is that kid so hard to please these days?"

* * *

 **#39) I am not allowed to try use a police badge to get free donuts**

Yep, Viktor was hungry, as always. All he needed was a bright idea to get free food. He thinks and thinks, and thinks, thinks, when suddenly it hit him. His dad's police badge.

Stealing one glance at his male parent, being in a heated discussion with his Commissioner, Viktor stalks upon Mr. Nikiforov and snatches the item from his belt. Then he runs away as fast as the wind, clutching the badge in his hand. Sadly enough, Mr. Nikiforov chases him all the way to the doughnut shop, grabbing his son by the shrub of his neck.

"What do you think you're doing with that?" Mr. Nikiforov snatched his badge from his son's fingers.

"I just wanted to use it to get free donuts, that's all," Viktor replied, putting up a pouty face, holding his rumbling stomach. "I haven't eaten any breakfast, yet."

"What, slept through it, again?"

* drops head sadly* "Yes!"

Mr. Nikiforov looked thoughtfully then threw the badge back to his son. "Fine! If you think a sixteen year old kid with a police badge gets free doughnuts, feel free to try. But if you get arrested I won't be the one saving your butt and you will spend a night behind bars."

"Dad, I'm your son!" Viktor gasped.

"I'll just say you stole my badge and that the best way to punish you is by putting you in jail."

Viktor grins; "Fine! But if I get these free doughnuts without getting arrested, you'll be doing the dishes for a whole week."

Doubting it would work, Mr. Nikiforov nodded agreed.

A few minutes later, Viktor stepped outside the doughnut shop carrying a big box of fresh baked doughnuts.

"H-How?" Mr. Nikiforov stammered.

Viktor smirks; "There happened to be a girl standing behind the counter and she recognized me. After allowing her to take a picture of us and giving her my autograph, she gave me this box of free doughnuts. Which means, I WON!"

* * *

 **#40) I am not allowed to wear sheets**

Yuuri, Yurio, and Chris look worriedly at the couch across of theirs. Neither of them dares to ask Viktor why he has a sheet wrapped around himself.

Yuuri clears his throat awkwardly. He knows he really shouldn't ask it, but curiosity takes the better of him and asks it anyway. "May I ask, do you wear anything else underneath that sheet, Viktor?"

"Nope!" Viktor replied, cue shaking his head.

"Vitya, put your clothes back on!" Yakov roared, entering the room.

Viktor turns his head to look at his coach, then drags in a deep, annoyed sigh and spits stubbornly; "I will not put clothes on for you, the tsar or anyone else!"

And with that, Viktor stood up and stomped out the room.

* * *

 **Which one is your favorite? Mine is 31 and 38 xD**


	5. Pies, Russian Tigers, and 'Criminals'

**#41) I am not allowed to organize unnecessarily 'kidnaper' drills (no one would be crazy enough to kidnap me)**

"AAAH!" Viktor screamed, scrambling down the hallway of his house then inside the kitchen where he found his dad drinking some tea with Yurio's grandfather. Both males look up.

"Vitya, what is it?" Mr. Nikiforov asked worriedly and sat his cup back down onto the table.

"Kidnappers!" Viktor replied breathlessly. "They've got my little piglet already!"

Mr. Nikiforov and Mr. Plisetski both frowned confused. "Who?"

"Yuuri!" the silver haired skater replied, not dropping the act or the frightful look in his eyes, then chokes out; "I couldn't do anything to stop them! I think, I think they- " Viktor's hand grasped at the edge of the table for support.

Mr. Nikiforov sighed. "Vitya, I'm a cop. I'm trained enough to tell when someone is acting."

"Whaat?!" Viktor gasped dramatically. "Someone just tried to kidnap me, but my number 1 fan who also happened to be my ONLY friend, jumped in the way and they grabbed him instead. You have to save him, papa!"

Mr. Nikiforov looked at his son, blankly. "Trust me, son, no one would be crazy enough to kidnap you."

"You don't know that!" Viktor gasped, feeling slightly insulted. "You're a cop. Cops have enemies and sometimes those enemies try to take revenge by hurting the family of the cop who put them in jail. Piglet and I saw the same thing happen in that movie we watched the other night. What if I'm like that kid in that movie, papa?!"

Mr. Plisetski shook his head in disbelieve. "Seriously, your son is over thinking stuff way too much."

Viktor tilted his head. "Really? Yakov just told me the other day I should think a bit more instead of asking stupid questions."

* * *

 **#42. I am not allowed to throw pies at random people**

Viktor dashed outside the bakery, loathed with cream pies then nearly knocked into Yuuri. After Viktor made a quick explanation on why he had bought the bakery's entire stock of cream pies, Yuuri volunteered to help him to get rid of them, quickly. Or better yet, help him to throw them at random people in a crowded area. And what would be more crowded than the nearby restaurant? The same restaurant some coaches were lunching with their skaters?

"Attack!" Viktor screamed as he and Yuuri bowled inside the crowded restaurant, both holding one cream pie in each of their hands. Before anyone knew what happened, pies were flying every which way.

Mickey screamed in fear and ran around in circles until he became too dizzy and tired then collapsed to the restaurant floor.

Chris and Yurio grabbed their food off their plates and began throwing it back at the silver haired skater and his Japanese friend. It didn't take long for more people to defend themselves with their food and drinks.

Mr. Plisetski, who had come along to keep his little grandson under control, took cover behind some tables along with Celestino and Yakov's ex-wife. All three shouted grumpily at everyone to stop throwing perfectly good food. Not that anyone listened at them.

Viktor began throwing more pies at Yurio, at Yakov, at Chris, at Yakov, at random costumers, at Micky, at Yakov, at Yakov."

Yuuri, on the other hand, decided that the pies were too good to throw, so instead he stuffed his face full with it.

Yakov sat, still, on his seat and glared daggers at the silver haired teen who was still throwing pies at him with gusto, leaving him covered in whipped-cream from head to toe.

It seemed an eternity, but then Mr. Nikiforov charged inside with a few colleagues, because the owner had called them to maintain order. "Nobody move!"

Yuuri's cream-covered face rose up from his pie plate and found four fire arms trained on him and Viktor. Viktor merely smirked.

"Hiya, papa! You want some pie too?"

Mr. Nikiforov dragged in a deep tired sigh then told his men to lower their guns, which they did. "Vitya, you have five seconds to explain me why you started this?!"

"Well, er…you see it's actually Yuuri's turn to answer your interrogation questions." Viktor then turned to face his fellow skater and hissed; "Make it sound believable."

Yuuri gulped, but then his eyes start to sparkle. "Yeah, you see, Mr. Nikiforov, unicorns love cream pies. We wanted to try lure one so Makkachin has a friend to play with."

Viktor nodded and stroked his chin. "Not bad, Yuuri. Not bad at all."

* * *

 **#43) I am not allowed to escape out my bedroom window after my papa put me there under house arrest**

"I've had enough of you and your antics, Vitya! You stay in here until you finally think before you act!" Mr. Nikiforov pushed his son inside his bedroom then closed and locked the door behind him.

"But papa!" Viktor wailed at the closed door. "Thinking isn't my strong suit, you know that! It can take forever!"

"Then so be it!" Mr. Nikiforov said curtly and left. Viktor sighed sadly.

An hour later…

"Little piglet, I am so happy you could react so fast on my text message and brought all this stuff!"

Yuuri, looking up at Viktor's bedroom window, asked worriedly; "Are you sure this will work?"

The young boy had gathered all the soft pillows, cushions, and old matrasses' he could find around the house, without alerting Mr. Nikiforov, and had placed them all onto a large pile underneath Viktors window. But now, at the last minute he starts having doubt about the Russian skater's plan.

Viktor nodded with a huge grin on his face then pulled himself up onto the windowsill, letting his legs dangle outside.

At about the same time, Mr. Nikiforov came outside the house and walked down the garden path for a nice little stroll, but then saw his son sitting with his feet outside the window. It could only mean he had a new crazy idea in his head. Quickly he rushed up to his son's bedroom window, but too late.

Giving his friend one last thumb up, Viktor launched himself out of the window and lands on top of the pile of pillows, cushions, and matrasses.

"Vitya! What did I say about thinking before acting?!"

Viktor merely grinned. "Trust me, Papa, I've calculated everything twice. My body size, the amount of soft stuff we needed to break my fall, plus the distance there needed to be between my bedroom window and the pile and the speed of my jump to reach it!" Then the young skater turned around and with triumph in his step he allowed himself back into the house, grinning madly.

Mr. Nikiforov met Yuuri's eyes. "Did he really calculate that stuff by himself?"

Yuuri shook his head. "Nope. I had to do some adjusting, otherwise the pile would have been over there, by that tree."

"What tree?" Mr. Nikiforov frowned. "The one in the neighbours backyard?"

Yuuri simply nodded then strolled into the house to find his crazy idol.

* * *

 **#44) I am not allowed to try turn Yurio into a real Russian tiger. Not even when I'd think he'd would like the experience (I should know I would fail)**

"YURIO!" Viktor cried out happily as he, closely followed in his trail by Yuuri, pranced into the room holding a weird tree branch with one hand while waving madly with the other.

The six year old looked up in surprise, then frowns suspiciously; "What do you want, Viktor?" Then he also took a moment to shoot daggers at Yuuri. He still didn't appreciate the Japanese skater's company.

"How are you doing today?" Viktor smiled widely. TOO widely. Yurio's suspicion grew then he opened his mouth to reply, but Viktor was slightly faster and blurted out; "Can we turn you in a tiger?" Yurio's mouth remained open, stared at the two grinning skaters before him, furrowing his eyebrows slowly. "A really fierce one!" Viktor added, his grin still plastered on his face.

Yuuri chimed in; "That has huge teeth and wicked claws."

"Great fighting skills."

"And a very macho roar!"

"VERY macho indeed," Viktor nodded.

Yurio didn't say a thing. He was utterly stunned. Viktor and Yuuri looked at each other and shrugged. "Sounds like a yes to me," Yuuri grinned.

"No wait.." Too late. Viktor waved the tree branch madly and like magic, a cloud of smoke engulfs Yurio from head to toe.

"I'm pretty sure a smaller smoke bomb would have done the trick too, little piglet!" Viktor coughed and swished the air.

"Smoke bomb? What smoke bomb? You didn't ask me to bring any smoke bombs, Viktor!"

Viktor slapped his forehead as if he remembered something. "Ah yes, forgot to ask you bring the smoke bombs. But wait, if you didn't bring any, then it means…" Yuuri and Viktor looked around for Yurio.

"We actually turned Yurio into a tiger!" Yuuri wailed and clutched at Viktor's arm in fear. After looking some more, they realized Yurio had not turned into a tiger. A tiny, red tabby-point, and very agitated Mekong Bobtail was staring daggers up at them. "Viktor, I warned you to not steal that old hobo's walking stick!"

Viktor rolls his eyes. "Yuuri, I don't think this was his walking stick! Also stop worrying so much. Even you have to admit that Yurio looks adorable as a kitten." The two skaters looked down at the kitten who hissed at them angrily then started choking on a hairball. "Though, I do think he has to work on that macho roar."

* * *

 **#45) I am not allowed to make prank calls to Mickey (I should know he can't handle it)**

Micky walked with his twin sister inside the skating rink when his phone started to buzz. He pulled it from his jacket pocket and answered it with his usual, grumpy tone of voice. "Yeah?!"

"Hey baby, it's me," a sexy, feminine like voice said from the other end of the line, and Mickey's pupils turned into tiny pin-pricks in utter shock.

It seemed minutes before Mickey finally found his voice again, but it was less grumpy and more shaky when he asked; "W-Who is this?" Sara, who had walked back to her brother by then, quirked her eyebrows.

"Oh, come on, sweetie pie," the same feminine voice said but adding a little purr as she spoke. Don't do this to me. You know you want to see me again. We had so much fun last night."

Trying to remain his composure in front of his confused sister, Mickey sighed. "Look lady, I don't know who y-you are but I'm hanging up now." Sara battered her eyelashes at her brother and made a heart-shape with her fingers.

"Wait!" the 'lady' spoke quickly before Mickey even had the chance to hang up. "I'm standing outside, waiting for you."

Mickey turned around to the entrance of the ice rink and saw Yakov's ex-wife, Lilia, standing outside hanging up her phone about the same time as the line broke between Mickey and his mysterious caller. His mouth opened in a silent scream right before he fainted to the floor with a thud.

Meanwhile, in a different part of Russia, (Viktor's house to be more specific), Yuuri and Viktor rolled across the floor, cackling madly.

* * *

 **#46) No matter how much I want to be like my papa, I am not allowed to follow criminals with Yuuri and Phichit as my partners**

Yuuri walked with his friend, Phichit, down the streets when they nearly bumped into Viktor who was peering, sneakily, around the corner of a wall.

"Hey Viktor, this is my friend, Phichit. He's also a figure skater and he's from…"

"Sssst!" Viktor said then shoved his dad's I.D. and badge into Yuuri's face. "It's detective Nikiforov! My mission is to keep an eye on that, seemingly perfectly looking civilian over there.

Phichit frowns. "Wait, isn't it a crime to impersonate as a police officer?"

"I'm not impersonating as a police officer," Viktor said as he slipped the I.D and badge back into the pocket of his Russian track jacket. "I'm impersonating as a normal civilian who just happened to run by at the moment the criminal is breaking the law."

"But only police officers impersonate being a normal civilian, and since you are already a normal civilian, you therefore can't…" Phichit gets cut off by Yuuri's elbow.

"Trust me, Phichit, he can hear you but there's nothing in his head that absorbs the information."

Viktor shoots a stink-eye at Yuuri then sees the 'criminal' move. "Alright boys, let's roll!" and with that, the silver haired boy rolled away from behind the wall he was hiding, and quietly follows the 'criminal.' Yuuri and Phichit followed reluctantly.

* * *

 **#47) In reference to rule #46, I am not allowed to snatch the criminal into an alley and threat him with a tree branch**

"Ehm, Yuuri? Is it just me or is that a tree branch strapped around Viktor's back?"

Yuuri slaps his forehead. "Viktor, seriously? I told you to give that hobo his walking stick back! I'm pretty sure he needs it more than you."

Not taking his eyes off the target in front of him, Viktor grins; "Would you believe me if I told you he told me to keep this tree branch to fight crime with?"

"NO!"

"You're right, it would be a lie. But the truth is that I did try to return it, but then he yelled at me and heaved his fists angrily at me, sooooooo…..I decided to run away. It took me four miles before I finally realized I was still holding this branch, sooooo…I decided to keep it and use it to fight crime with. I'm pretty sure that hobo will be so proud of me once he finds out."

Phichit looks quizzically. "Is he serious?"

"I'm afraid so," Yuuri grunted then he and Phichit watched how Viktor pushed the 'criminal', unexpectedly, into an alley.

"Don't get on my bad side!" Viktor warned the man, pushing him further up against the wall.

"Oh, and what would you do about it?" the man chuckled sarcastically, glaring down at Viktor, smirking at the height difference. "You're just a scrawny little girl." Oh, no, he shouldn't have said that.

Viktor pulled the tree branch off his back then swayed it madly in front of the man's nose then hissed dangerously; "I'm a boy and I can do things you can't imagine!"

"A stick?" the man snorted. "A stick?" Yuuri buried his head into his hands because he knew the situation would only become more awkward than it already was. He was right.

"This is not just a stick," Viktor said then puffed his chest proudly. "With this 'stick' I can transport you to anywhere I want." Viktor twirled the branch noticeably. The man scoffed with a sceptical look on his face.

Five minutes later, Viktor found himself in the worst talk of his life from Mr. Nikiforov (who heard about the situation from Yuuri) for making the 'criminal' disappear to…well…it was a little hard to tell where he had transported the man to.

"But papaaaaaaaaaa!" Viktor wailed. "You should have seen the look on his face before he disappeared. I'm pretty sure Russia will be slightly safer with one criminal less to worry about," he exclaimed happily.

Sadly, Viktor was met with a blank stare.

Meanwhile, in a different universe…the 'criminal' spun round and round on his feet, looking anxiously at the 13 pair of eyes and 13 agaped mouths.

"I don't know why, but this man definitely doesn't look like a burglar to me," a tall, dark haired man said. The blond man wearing braids in his beard and hair nodded.

"You're right, Kili. Nor does he look like a hobbit. What are we going to do with him, uncle?"

The uncle, Thorin, simply shrugged. "Oh well, we can always use someone to carry our stuff and belongings, once Gandalf gets back Though, I still don't get why he had to disappear on us like that. I mean, we have Hobbits here, right?"

The company simply shrugged clueless.

* * *

 **#48) I am not allowed to shave off Chris's non-existent beard. No matter how funny it is to laugh at his 'bare' face**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY LIFE IS RUINED!"

Celestino and Yakov both looked up, shrugged and went back to talking. Seconds later they get interrupted by a horrified looking Chris, running towards them.

"Look what happened to ME!" Chris points frantically at his chin, eyes widened. Both coaches look very closely but they can't see anything. "My beard! It's gone!"

"Oh, yeah, you're right," Celestino said, suddenly remembering that the young skater had showed everyone his first chin hair. You actually needed a magnifying glass to see it, but oh well, the boy was over the moon.

Viktor saunters towards the three men and stands still in front of Chris. A fake horrified look on his face. "Chris, what happened to your beard?"

"It's gone," Chris sobbed.

"But how did that happen?" Viktor asked, finger against his chin and thinks. "If I didn't know any better I would think someone put hair remover on your chin while you took a little nap but, who would do that?"

Chris, finally getting it, screamed and chased a laughing Viktor out the door.

* * *

 **#49) I am not allowed to watch amused at Yuuri and Chris when they argue over me**

Loud screams were heard from inside the ice rink. Viktor poked his head around the corner and found Yuuri and Chris in a very heated discussion. By the looks of it, Yuuri had a nipped a little too much of alcohol.

Curiously and without Yuuri and Chris's notice, the silver haired skater plopped onto a nearby bench then wished he had some popcorn to eat. Watching something with popcorn is always a lot more fun. The heated discussion starts to become more heated, so Viktor had to do it without the popcorn.

"I'm telling you, Chris, one day Viktor is going to be my coach!" Yuuri bellowed, swaying back and forth, tipsy.

Chris guffaws. "Ha, no way Viktor would ever coach a piglet!"

"How about you look to yourself in a mirror before you call people names," Yuuri exclaimed angrily. "Oh, that's right, you never look in a mirror because then you would notice you're two-faced. My advice, at least make one of them attractive."

Viktor had to stop himself from applauding, scared it might interrupt the two 'gamecocks'. Then he pulled his phone from his tracksuit and texted to Celestino; "Celestino, quickly! Drop everything you're doing and come quickly at the indoor ice rink. Yuuri is doing something that will make you so proud!" Yep, that should work.

It took like ten minutes before Celestino finally arrived and found Yuuri and Chris arguing. Viktor jumped up and down like a little kid that just earned his first lollypop.

"You know, you're just a spoiled brat!" Chris scowled infuriated, giving Yuuri his most dirty look ever made in history.

Yuuri gasps; "Oh no, I don't have any comeback for that, so all I can give you is a nasty look! No wait…I see you already have one."

"Who knew little piglet had it in him, right?" Viktor cried out, looking proudly at Celestino

Celestino sighed deep then growls, sarcastically; "You never disappoint me, do you?"

The next morning…

Loud moans and groans echo through the indoor ice rink. Mickey and Sara look up in alarm then saw Viktor dragging himself onto the ice.

"Looks like you had a rough night," Sara grinned. Viktor stopped in his tracks then looks at the twins, one at the time.

"Keep it down, will you? I've been up all night, listening Yuuri and Chris fight over me."

Sara chuckles; "Yuuri doesn't seem the fighting type to me."

"Fine, if you don't believe me, see it for yourself!" Viktor forced himself to turn back into the direction he came then dragged himself down the hallway to the main entrance. The twins followed him in tow. "Get ready to feast your eyes and ear."

"I don't understand how Viktor puts up with you!" Chris growled when he and Yuuri entered the indoor rink.

Yuuri puffs his chest. "Because he's in LOVE with me."

"You know, all I hear is 'blablabla'! You're talking like an idiot!"

"Yeah, you're right. I am talking like an idiot," Yuuri sighed sadly. A victory grin curled up onto Chris's face. "But then again, I'll have to, otherwise you wouldn't understand a single thing I'm saying!"

Chris clenches his fists. "I really wish your mouth had a snooze button!"

"Chris, I really would have punched you right now, but I already did that verbally four times." Then noticing Chris's look. "I mean, five times. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a practice appointment with my coach, Viktor."

* * *

 **#50) I am not allowed to sell pictures of Yurio to the media. No matter how necessarily I think it is for people to know he's still sleeping with a teddy bear**

"This is so adorable," Viktor cried silently as he lingered closer toward the Yurio who was taking a little nap. The media is going to love this." And with that, Viktor starts making pictures with his camera then strolls away

A few hours later…

"Hey there, Russian's little kitten," Viktor greeted the six year old when he entered the rink. Yurio just growled then took his phone from his sports bag and decided to scan the social media first. Suddenly his eyes grew wide then looks slowly over the edge of his phone at Viktor, who smiled cheeky at him. "Please tell me it wasn't you!"

"Fine!" Viktor shrugged. "If you like the idea of a paparazzi sneaking up to you and making pictures while you take a nap, then I didn't do it." Cue wide smirk. "Though, I have to admit that I don't know who's the cutest in that picture. You or Mr. Snoozle."

Yakov entered the rink, surprised to see a VERY angry Yurio chasing Viktor down the ice, screaming something that sounded like; "How dare you to sell pictures of me and Mr. Snoozle to the media?!"

Viktor laughed his head off. "You know, little kitten, sometimes you have to share your spotlights, whether you like it or not."

* * *

 **Which rules was your favorite?**


	6. Happy Nikiforov Games

**I decided to write down the ages again, with some new characters added**

 _Viktor: 16 years_  
 _Yuuri: 12 years_  
 _Yurio: 6 years_  
 _Chris: 16 years_  
 _Mila: 9 years_  
 _Micky & Sara: 12 years_  
 _Emil: 9 years_  
 _Seung-gil: 10 years_  
 _Guang Hong-Ji – 9 years_  
 _Phichit – 10 years_  
 _Minami – 7 years_  
 _Leo – 9 years  
Otabek - 9 years_

* * *

 **#51) No matter how desperately I want to have a matching tattoo with my #1 fan, I am not allowed to feed him drunk**

"Yuuri," Viktor sang then plopped beside the Japanese figure skater and shoved his phone under his nose to show some tattoo samples. "Look, tiny miniature skates. What do you think?"

"Cute?" Yuuri replied hesitant. "But ehm…are you asking me this because you consider taking a tattoo?" Viktor nodded with glee. Yuuri widened his eyes then exclaims; "Viktor! That's so irr-

"Cool? I know!" Viktor grinned. "And guess what, you're taking the exact same one, but your skates will have my name and mine will have yours. Matching tattoos are so awesome, little piglet."

Yuuri starts to laugh, nervously. "Vitya, I have to be really, REALLY drunk before I will consider taking a tattoo." Viktor starts to smirk, wickedly. Yuuri frowned. "What plan are you brooding on right now?"

Hours later…

"Viktor, let's dance!" Yuuri wailed while he took his idols hands into his, forcing him to do the tango.

Viktor starts to smirk. His master plan is working. "Yuuri, are you drunk?"

"Yes," Yuuri purred, twirling Viktor like a ballerina then dipped him in his arms. "I am so drunk and all yours."

Viktor smirks. "Excellent. How about we get a matching tattoo, Yuuri." Yuuri's eyes became watery then flung himself around Viktor's neck.

"I thought you would never ask!"

A few minutes later, at the tattoo shop…

Viktor and Yuuri skipped inside, hand in hand and smiling happily.

"We will look so adorable with the matching-Minako!" Viktor gasped in surprise when he saw Yuuri's ballet teacher, talking with the tattoo artist. "What are …

"YOU!" Minako pointed at Victor in pure rage then stomped towards the two boys. "Good thing Yuuri warned me he would probably be doing something so stupid and reckless I might have to stop him! No tattoos for you young man."

Minako grabs Viktor's ear and Yuuri's arm then stomps out the door while the silver haired skater whimpered dramatically "So close, Yuuri. We were so close at being connected with each other forever. But you just had to ruin it! Does this mean you don't love me back?!" Yuuri opened his mouth to respond, but Minako was faster.

"Oh shut up, you drama queen!"

* * *

 **#52) I am not allowed to go all 'pacifist' on Minako. I should know it won't work**

"I've had enough of you, Nikiforov!" Minako hollered when she dragged both Yuuri and Viktor into her place right after she snatched them from the tattoo shop. "Now look what you've done. My poor Yuuri is drunk thanks to you!"

Viktor starts to smirk. "Sssh." Minako halts in her tracks, clearly stunned. "Anger is not the key, Minako."

"Yes! Violence is not the answer," Yuuri chimed in. He had no idea why. Probably it was still the alcohol in his system.

Minako turns to look at Yuuri. Her mouth slowly drops wide open.

"Let's take a moment to visit our happy place," Viktor said with a dreamy look on his face, shutting his eyes slowly.

Minako takes that as an opportunity to grab the silver haired boy by the shrubs of his neck and demands Yuuri to follow obediently.

"I will personally kick you on the first plane back to Russia, young man!"

"Minako, please don't hurt him!" Yuuri cried in fear as he followed Minako who dragged Viktor with her up the stairs. "Think about your happy place! Find your happy place!"

Viktor whimpers painfully. "I think her happy place was destroyed ages ago."

* * *

 **#53) I am not allowed to ask stupid questions when Lilia selects my skate uniforms**

"Alright, Vitya!" Lilia marches towards the silver haired skater and his #1 fan, Yuuri, who definitely felt flustered when Viktor showed him all his 'Eros' expressions and asked him which one looked the most sexiest. It was so hard to pick for the poor kid. Lilia taps impatiently with her foot on the floor then finally has the skater's attention. "I know you asked me to show a few costumes for you to pick from for the short program tonight, but both Yakov and I think this one is the most suitable one!"

Both Viktor's and Yuuri's mouth drop agape in utter astonishment when the tall woman unzips the bag with the costume and shows them a skin-tight, black costume with crystals and a strip of fabric dangling down the side that could represent a skirt? Viktor wasn't sure what it was, but it wasn't really what worried him the most.

Lilia, noticing something was bothering Viktor, rolls her eyes then spits venomously; "What?! You don't like it?!"

"Ehm, well… don't you think it's a little bit…" Viktor gulped awkwardly.

Thinking his idol needs help with finding the right word, Yuuri chimes in; "Too revealing?" Yuuri points at the right side of the costume where it's partly see-through. Viktor shook his head.

"Trust me, that's not what's bothering me, little piglet. What bothers me is that it's a bit tight in certain places."

Lilia purses her lips annoyed. "Vitya, you're flexible enough, trust me! It will fit."

"Yes, well…" Viktor chuckled nervously. "The bigger question is, how do I get out of it again? I mean, what if I have to pee during the competition?"

"I'm pretty sure you're resourceful enough to figure it out for yourself!" Lilia snapped, and with that, she strode away leaving Viktor alone with not only a costume to deal with but also a drooling #1 fan, who loved the see-through part of the costume a bit too much.

* * *

 **#54) Only because I think it would be good for Yurio, I am not allowed to invite a skater from another country. I should know I am a bad judge when it comes to picking friends for my friends**

"Hey little kitten! How are you doing today?" Viktor asked merrily, trying to hug the little six year old who's sitting on the bench, alone, tying his laces. Yurio backed away instantly.

"Leave me alone, weirdo!" And with that, Yurio stomped away. Viktor looked slightly sad, then stroked his chin and started to ponder. Then it hit him.

Later…

"Hey Yurio! The reason why you are so bitchy to everyone is, is because you feel a bit left out. All the other skaters are older than you, have different interests than you, so…meet Otabek. He's from Kazakhstan." Viktor stepped aside to show Yurio the nine year old that was standing behind him, looking annoyed for the fact Viktor had dragged him along. Yurio's mouth dropped agape and Viktor smirked pleased. He knew he would approve Otabek. "Okay, how about you two just talk a bit while I ehm…going to talk to someone."

Viktor sprints away with a warm fuzzy feeling inside. It feels so good to help out a lonely child with making friends. And all that there was left to do was asking his grumpy coach to show his support by becoming Otabek's coach.

"Absolutely not!" Yakov roared when Viktor suggested the idea to him, then proceeds washing his car. "I want absolutely nothing to do with that brat! Nor do I want Yurio to come near him. Otabek's bad behavour might rub off on him!"

"But Yakov!" Viktor wailed while clutching onto his coach's arm, stopping him from washing his car. "You must be mistaken with someone else, because the Otabek I'm talking about is nothing but a sweet, adorable little nine year old from Kazakhstan. His eyes are so cute and sparkling with joy and-

"There is nothing cute or adorable about a kid who did this to my car!" Yakov points at his car filled with the words 'Otabek Rules.' "I want to keep that kid as far away from Yurio as possible, so don't you dare introduce that monster to him!"

Viktor chuckles nervously. "Yeah, about that, hehe..."

Yakov, sensing his warning has come a little too late, starts to twitch his eye in anger, which basically means Viktor has to start running.

* * *

 **#55) I am not allowed to volunteer the skaters for my own Hunger Games version**

"The game of the year is about to happen! The game everyone talks about!"

Inside the ice rink, the skaters and coaches share a look of confusion when they hear the silver haired figure skater's voice echo through a megaphone. Yakov, knowing that is not a good sign, scrambles outside. The skaters, knowing Viktor is about to get another pummel, follow the angry coach hot on his trail.

"And the crowd goes wild!" Viktor hollered enthusiastically, not noticing the raging look on his coach's face when he came out the door and went for him in a straight bee-line. He was too busy with pointing at his two persons crowd also known as his number 1 fan, Yuuri Katsuki, and his new fan from the future, Annie. Sadly, the both of them were distracted by something on Annie's phone. Viktor cleared his throat to get their attention and it worked. They look up from where they were giggling over shirtless pictures of Viktor. Viktor smiled pleased. "I said…and the crowd goes wild!"

"Oh yeah! Our cue!" Yuuri said then flings his arms above his head then mimics, along with Annie, the gesture; "WHOOOO!"

"YEAH!"

"GO!"

"NIKIFOROV GAMES!"

"WHOOOO!"

"COOL!"

Viktor rolled his eyes. He told them to go as wild as they could, but this was a bit too exaggerating. "You know what, why don't you two go back to whatever you two were doing?" Right on cue, Yuuri and Annie plopped back on the curb of the street and continued their dreamy sighing. Then Viktor held up a fish bowl with slips of paper in it. "And here we have the names of our tributes for the Nikiforov games!"

All the skaters waited in anticipation for Yakov for throwing himself on top of Viktor and interrupting his new antic, but Celestino, kinda curious what Viktor had in mind, grinned wildly as stopped Yakov.

"From District 2!" Viktor cried in glee and took three slips of paper from the fish bowl then reads them. "Yurio, Seung-gil, and Otabek!" Yurio and Otabek look at each other, back to Viktor with a major grin on their faces. Seung-gil rolled his eyes. Viktor proceeds taking slips of papers and reads them out loud. "From District 7; Sara, Phichit and Mila. District 99; Mickey, Emil and, Chris. District 294; Lilia, Minako, and Mrs. Katsuki."

Celestino raises his hand and frowns; "Aren't there supposed to be 12 districts and two people in each team?"

"Hush, hush," Viktor said with slight annoyance. "My game is somewhat…different. You all will be randomly chosen from the fish bowl."

"But there were only 14 slips of paper. Everyone would have been chosen anyway. Besides, why do I and Celestino have to defend our team with just the two of us?!"

Viktor shots Yakov the stink-eye before continuing, a big grin forming around his lips. "That's because you, Yakov, are old enough to defend for two. Mila and Sara have little Phichit to defend their team, but do I hear them complain about how out-numbered they are in a fight with you and Celestino? NO! Now, let's move on with the rules."

"Still, we are heavily outnumbered in a fight with those three old ladies," Yakov mumbled under his breath. The 'three old ladies,' Minako, Mrs. Katsuki, and Lilia opened their mouths to give Yakov the worst talk of his life, but were quickly cut off by Viktor.

"Ladies, hold your anger back for just a few more seconds, all right? Soon as the games started you three can show Yakov your fight song. We're going to leave now." And with that, the young skater dashed to the end of the street, were it's safe. Yuuri and Annie left their 'dreamy sighs' for a few minutes to join Viktor, who then roars through the megaphone; "May the best team win! Now go kill each other!"

The skaters and the adults mutter angrily while walking towards the pile of junk that seems to be their 'weapons.' They weren't pleased with what they saw.

"This is your fault!" Yakov scowled at his team mate, Celestino. "If you didn't stop me from smacking that kid's head, we wouldn't have been in this situation."

"A stick?" Phichit asked, holding up the said object. "What are we supposed to do with it?" Mila and Sara shrugged.

"Pebbles?" Yurio asked, looking sceptical at the pouch of rocks. Emil, also walking closer, picked up the pouch and took one of the small rocks, exams it for a second, then flicks the stone towards Yurio with a dull expression.

"GOOD, GOOD! THAT'S MORE LIKE IT! TEN POINTS TO DISTRICT 99!" Viktor yelled through his megaphone.

Mickey rolls his eyes. "You aren't supposed to vive points in the hunger games."

"I CAN TAKE THEM BACK IF YOU LIKE! You guys think I should take them back?" Viktor asked, turning to Yuuri and Annie. They didn't hear him because they were too busy with flicking through pictures of Viktor looking really hot and sexy. "You know what, never mind." Viktor turned back to the 'tributes.' "FIGHT!"

Hesitatingly, the 'tributes' gathered the 'weapons' and begin using them on one another. Seung-Gil blows sand in Phichit's eyes while he waved madly with the stick to defend himself. Lilia ran after Yakov with a boot, roaring at him that if they weren't divorced already she would have divorced him for calling her old. Emil and Yurio threw pebbles at one and another. Mila and Sara threw cupcakes at Chris and Mickey.

"OH YEAH, THAT'S THE KIND OF FIGHTING I'M TALKING ABOUT! THE CROWD IS JUST LOVING IT!" Viktor hollered then points over to where his two fans rested.

"Totally loving it," Yuuri said in monotone voice, his eyes practically glued to the screen of Annie's phone. "Ooh, click on the one with the abs."

"I'm clicking, I'm clicking," Annie said then clicks on the picture Yuuri wanted to see enlarged, dreamy sighs right on cue. "Ha, I told you the Victuri fan-girls imagination goes wild when they draw."

Meanwhile, the fight between the 'tributes' continued.

"I told you we should have grabbed the pouch with the pebbles!" Otabek scowled angrily at Yurio as they and Seung-Gil duck away behind a nearby building when Emil threw another rock.

"Well, I'm sorry! But I can't help it Emil is stronger than me and older," Yurio yelled back.

"He's only three years older than you! Ouch!" Otabek rubbed the spot where Emil's pebble hit him.

"Well, he's the same age as you, so why you don't go over and re-claim that pouch of rocks!" Yurio retorted back.

"Maybe I will!" Otabek hollered, grabbing one of the rocks that just missed Seung-Gil's face then threw it back at Emil who duck away before it could touch him.

"I'M SENSING A FIGHT IN DISTRICT 2!" Viktor yelled through his megaphone. "I'LL CHECK IN WITH THEM LATER! NOW, WHERE DID PHICHIT GO?" Viktor scanned the street then saw the Thai running away with the trophy Yakov won when he was a teenager and represented as the so called cornucopia. Yakov was chasing him to get it back. Viktor puffed his chest then bellowed through the megaphone; "NOW IT'S TIME TO FORM ALLIANCES AND KILL THE TRIBUTES OF THE OTHER TEAM IF YOU WANT THAT CORNUCOPIA TO BE YOURS!"

All the tributes went, head first, into the battle, chasing poor Phichit all across the street to reclaim Yako's trophy also known as the cornucopia. The poor Thai screamed his head off as he ran around like a headless chicken, not knowing where safety was or even remember who his team mates were. Then, when he tripped and fell to the concrete, all the other tributes stacked on top of him like a football players, and a wild struggle for the cornucopia started.

"THERE YOU HAVE IT, FOLKS! OUR FIRST (somewhat) SUCCESFUL NIKIFOROV GAMES. THANKS FOR COMING. HAPPY NIKIFOROV GAMES!" Viktor puffed into the megaphone.

"Yeah, happy Nikiforov games," Annie mumbled absently, her eyes glued on the phone in Yuuri's hands as they were still browsing through Viktor fan-art. "Oh, click on that one!"

Yuuri obeys quickly and clicks. Then his yaws dropped. "Whoweee, look at that booty!" Cue delighted sighing.

* * *

 **#56) I am not allowed to convince Chris he will be put onto the non-existent predator list. Not even when I want to protect my #1 fan**

Yuuri stepped onto the rink when he suddenly felt an hand touching his butt, and heard a voice whisper in his ear. "How about you and me have some fun later?"

"Chris…" Yuuri stuttered and turned bright red.

Viktor approaches the two skaters and clenches his fists in disgust when his eyes met Chris's, one of the planet's most disgusted creeper. "I advise you to take your hand off of little piglet's butt."

"And why would I do that?" Chris smirked, leaving his hand where it is.

Viktor penetrates his eyes deeper into Chris's then says, with stone cold face; "If you don't, you might end up on the world's sexual predator list." Astounded, Chris leaped backwards. After about ten seconds, he regains composure.

"Sexual predator list?" Chris chuckled. "Silly Vitya, there is no such thing as a world's sexual predator list."

Viktor tightens his fists then grins; "Wanna bet?" Chris simply shrugged cocky then put his hand back on Yuuri's butt, grinning tauntingly at the silver haired skater.

In all technicality, Viktor has all right to attack and maim Chris. So he did. There is nothing what he wouldn't do to keep his Katsudon save.

* * *

 **#57. I am not allowed to convince everyone my hair has magical powers and makes the person brushing it, years younger**

"Hiya, little piglet," Viktor cried in glee as he skipped towards Yuuri, holding his hairbrush in his hand. "You wanna brush my hair? I will then sing and you will turn younger."

Yuuri sighs. "Viktor, have you watched Tangled again? Seriously, Annie needs to stop taking Disney movies from the future."

"But I love them," Viktor said with pouty face which instantly melted back into a beaming smile. "Anyway, do you? My hair has that magical power that when you brush it, and I'll sing, it starts to glow like gold. I love gold."

"Viktor, I'm 12! Why would I wanna look younger?"

"Fine! I just want to know how you looked like when you were five years old, all right? Now brush it."

Yuuri drags in another tired sigh. "Viktor, I have a question. That old lady in the movie, did she turn back into a teen? No, she didn't. It made her look years younger, so how would you think of me when I'll walk around with the body size of a twelve year old and a face of a five year old?"

Viktor starts to think for a moment then his eyes widen and start to glint in excitement. "I think you would look adorable, my little piglet! Please brush my hair. I want to see this happen."

"No!" And with that, Yuuri left without another word. Viktor sighed unhappy.

* * *

"Yakov! Please brush my hair," Viktor wailed with his arms clutched around his coach's neck. "It will glow when I sing and make the person brushing it younger." Yakov slapped his forehead in utter astonishment. How could a perfect skater be so dent. Then he got an idea.

"In that case, ask Lilia. She can't stop complaining about every wrinkle in her face and whines about how she wishes she was 20 again."

Viktor's face brightened then he dashed away to look for Lilia.

* * *

"Flower gleam and glow…" Viktor sang with a horrible melody while Lilia brushed his long silver colored hair. "Let your…

"Vitya, you can stop now!" Lilia grunted annoyed. "I've been brushing your hair for an hour now, and you sang that horrible tune over and over again like a broken record, and on top off that, it only made me look years older. Let's face it, your hair has not that magical power that you said it had." Lilia slumped back in her seat and rubbed the sides of her head with a gloomy expression.

"It has, Lilia," Viktor protested. "You just don't brush it properly, or the effects take some time to notice because you're so old."

Lilia penetrates her eyes venomously into the young skater's eyes then retorts; "Maybe you first need to get proper singing lessons! There's nothing magical about your voice to ignite the magical power of your hair."

Viktor, feeling insulted, gasps; "Yuuri said I have a beautiful and lovely singing voice."

"Of course he said that, he's your number 1 fan! Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get myself a aspirin for the migraine you just gave me with your horrible singing."

Viktor huffs. "Fine with me! I would have offered you another option to get years younger, but me and my magical hair go find someone else who will appreciate us."

And with that, Viktor whipped his long hair back and pompously stuck his nose in the air as he trotted away.

* * *

"Trust me, Minako. It will work," Viktor exclaimed, waving his hairbrush in front of the female dancer's face.

Minako rolls her eyes. "Viktor, I'll have the best anti-aging serum a woman can get. This." Minako held up a tube that said 'anti-aging cream. Makes you look younger instantly'.

Viktor harrumphs; "That's just a tube of rubbish. Trust me, my magical hair has even better effects."

"Viktor, scientists proved that this is the #1

"Blablabla!" Viktor harrumphed. "Scientists say all kind of things to sell their products, and you just believe them, but your friend and your number 1 favorite, best looking figure skater, not? I'm insulted!" To show Minako he was truly insulted, Viktor folded his arms and turned his face the other way.

Minako sighs and rubs the side of her head with a tired eye roll. She refused to be a stupid idiot like Lilia and let Viktor sing for hours without any results, but he looks so sad and seems to believe in his own story. Then she gets an idea.

"Viktor, if you find a scientist who can confirm your story, I'll give it a try, okay?"

Viktor simply rolled his eyes and left without another word.

* * *

Mrs. Katsuki found Viktor sitting in the corner, sighing sadly. She settled down beside him on the floor. She then asks; "Is everything okay, Vitya?" Viktor dragged in another deep, sad sigh.

"Nobody believes my hair is magical and makes you younger when brushing it and singing the song."

"Well, to be honest, Lilia brushed it for hours without any results."

Viktor snorts. "I can't help it that she has too many wrinkles for my magical hair to solve in just seconds. She needs to have patience. But what hurts me the most is that she says I can't sing, while Yuuri said I have a beautiful voice." Another sad sigh escapes from Viktor's lips.

Mrs. Katsuki smiles warmly. "How about I brush your hair and sing the song? Maybe a little love, something Lilia is lacking at, will ignite the magical power of your hair."

Viktor's sad face melts like snow in the sun and a beaming smile replaces it. "That's it, Mrs. Katsuki. That's why it didn't work on Lilia. Love will ignite it. Love ignites everything, right? Why didn't I think of that?"

A few seconds later, Mrs. Katsuki is brushing Viktor's hair while singing the song she heard him sing for hours like a broken record when Lilia was brushing it. Not that she believed Viktor's crazy story, but she would do anything for her boy's favorite boi. She would do anything to make him happy, because when her boy's favorite boi is happy, her boy is happy. And when he's happy, she's happy. A mother's love doesn't know any boundaries.

* * *

 **#58) I am not allowed to hire a bodyguard to protect me and Yuuri from Chris**

Chris hurled himself outside the boys rest room then through the indoor ice rink and finally onto the streets while pink paint and chicken feathers flied around him. Frustrated he wiped the paint from his eyes then scoped the street until his eyes land onto the silver haired skater who waited for the bus, along with Yuuri.

"VITYA, I WILL KILL YOU!" Chris bellowed then charged at the skaters in a straight bee line. Viktor and Yuuri turned around then their pleased grins melted off their faces.

Viktor recoils in fear then howls; "BODYGUARD!"

Chris didn't get the chance to reach the silver haired skater, because he hit a wall, forcefully. The Swiss skater tumbled back onto the street. Then, with a confused growl, Chris looked up and noticed it wasn't a wall at all. It was a large man, looking very angry through the long, dirty brown hair that draped down his face. His skin was dirty as well and an oozy smell was hanging around him. He had arms like tree trunks.

Chris gulps in fear.

"Hiya Chris!" Viktor cried with glee as he and Yuuri skip towards him then stood still beside the largely build man. "Chris, meet Growl. Growl, meet Chris. Growl is my bodyguard."

Chris gulps for a second time then asks, fear written all over his face; "Where did you find a bodyguard?"

"In the woods," Viktor replied with a wide smirk. "Growl said we needed protection."

"Russian skater prince and little Katsudon…need protection!" Growl growled dangerously then cracked his knuckles. Chris swallowed anxiously. "Growl…protect…Russian skater prince and little Katsudon."

Chris scooted away, slowly, pleading the two skaters with his eyes. A grin forms on Viktor's face.

"Yeah, Chris is a creeper, Growl. He always touches little Katsudon's butt without permission. Chris knows little Katsudon likes Russian skater prince more, and you heard what he just said a few minutes ago. Chris always tries to find a way to kill Russian skater Prince."

A few moments later, Chris ran through the city chased by a very angry growling Growl

* * *

 **#59) I am not allowed to try draw Yuuri's attention when he's trying to make new friends**

A young boy with blond hair and a small streak of dyed red in the front, bounces hyperactively towards Yuuri. "Hi, I'm Minami and I'm YOUR #1 fan!"

Yuuri, not knowing what to do with the situation and the sudden attention, turns bright red. Then suddenly, Viktor pokes his head between them, separating the two boys.

"Hi, I am Viktor Nikiforov and I am Yuuri's #1 fan. So if you'll excuse us, there's a hot spring with our names on it waiting."

And with that, Viktor enveloped his arm around Yuuri and dashed away.

* * *

"Yuuri, you are the best figure skater I have ever seen!" Minami cried ecstatically. "My dream is to become just as good as you and…

"LITTLE PIGLET, YOO-HOO!" a silver haired figure skater cried out merrily as he skated, on one leg, across the ice rink. "Look at me, Yuuri! I'm about to show you my quadruple jump!"

Yuuri's eyes glued on Viktor, watching him doing the quadruple jump. Viktor smiled pleased when he saw Minami withdraw with a jealous look on his face.

 _"Nailed it, again!"_

* * *

 **#60) Even though I'm almost entirely sure he's a threat to my little Yuuri, I am not allowed to hire a 'private detective' to follow Minami around**

Viktor stole glances at Yuuri who stood nearby talking with his new friend, and #1 fan, Minami. The blond boy with his streak of red hair was way to hyperactive for Viktor's taste. He also knows what they say about hyperactive people. They use it to hide their dangerous side. They want to look sweet, innocent, and bubbly then strike when you least expect it. No way he would let that kid hurt his little piglet.

"Boris said you wanted to see me!" a deep, creepy voice said coming from behind Viktor. Viktor spun on his feet and saw a muscular man with short dark hair and sunglasses. The silver haired skater darted his eyes around, anxiously, before shoving the largely build man behind a wall, out of everyone's view.

"Wait, what are you doing here?!" Viktor asked, peeking around the corner of the wall to see if anyone had noticed anything.

"Boris send me!"

"Wait, what?!" Viktor starts to pace up and down, nervously. "I don't understand what went wrong! I told Yurio to ask his friend, Boris, for a private detective, not a man that looks like he could kill someone."

The muscular build man sighs; "You want my help or not?"

Viktor strokes his chin then looks at Minami who touches Yuuri's arm flirtatiously. Anger boils up inside the young figure skater then turns back to face the largely build man. "I suppose I'll have to do it with you. Your job is to follow that creepy, annoying, and irritating boy over there. You know, the one with the blond hair and red streak in his hair, not the dark haired one. He belongs with me. Your job is to find out what he's planned to do with my friend."

"Permission to kill if necessary?"

"Uh, no! Are you crazy? You are not…man…I suddenly start wondering why a cute little boy like Yurio has such violent friends. You just stalk him, all right? You keep following him, write everything down what he does and make pictures of his every move. Then you'll show them to me and after I seen them, I will decide what to do with him. Did I make myself clear?"

The man shrugs duly. "Fine with me!" And with that, he grabbed his notepad and pen then creeped closer towards Minami and Yuuri. Then Yurio joined Viktor.

"Hi. I see Boris send Ivan. He's the best assassin you can get."

Viktor widened his eyes in utter shock. "Yurio, I asked for a private detective! Man, that's why he looks like he could kill someone, because he's an assassin!

"And the best assassin you can get, because he never gets distracted and always goes for the kill," Yurio said, importantly.

"Whaaat?" Viktor exclaimed in tight whisper voice then they heard an ear piercing scream and everyone look up in shock.

Minami, who happened to be the person who screamed, ran away in fear, yelling; "NO! Please don't draw a moustache on my face! AAAAH!"

"No, my bad! That's not Ivan but Boyan. Ivan's twin brother who easily gets distracted from his job and loves painting moustaches onto people's faces," Yurio guffawed then strutted away, leaving a pale looking figure skater behind.

* * *

 **Which one was your favorite?**


	7. Swapping Clothes

**#61) Even though I am Yuuri's secret admirer, I am not allowed to send anonymously texts. I should know he can't handle that much attention**

Yuuri scrolls dully through his phone when suddenly a text message appeared from an anonymous number. The Japanese skater frowned then opened it.

 _"Hey, hottie."_

Yuuri turns bright red then starts to ponder who could have send it. Viktor maybe? No way, he would send it with his own phone rather than with an anonymous number. A prank maybe? Then another message appeared.

 _"In case you're wondering, I'm your secret admirer."_

Secret admirer? He, Yuuri Katsuki has a secret admirer? Yuuri seriously starts to doubt someone would be interested in him like that, then suddenly a third message appeared.

 _"You always look so freaking adorable without your glasses."_

 _"And that little clueless frown is cute too."_

Wait, what? Little clueless frown? Panic started to build up inside Yuuri when he realized the anonymous person saw him. Anxiously, Yuuri looked around the rink, but he only saw Phichit practicing his routine. Text after text appeared on his screen until poor Yuuri couldn't take the 'flirty' harassment anymore and ran away, screaming in fear. Phichit stopped skating, watched Yuuri leave then simply shrugged and resumed his figure skate routine.

Hours later, Celestino found Yuuri hiding in one of the ice rink's broom closets, looking as pale as a sheet and his eyes widened in fear. The phone clutched in his hand tightly, and every time a new text appeared, the screen lighted up making poor Yuuri's face looking even more pale. Celestino rolled his eyes and snatched the phone from Yuuri's frozen fingers then read all the new messages.

 _"Why you run away?"_

 _"Do not fear me, I love you."_

 _"When you ran away, I have to admit your butt looks yummy from this angle."_

 _"Wait, where did you go to?"_

 _"Yuuri?"_

 _"This is your secret admirer, looking for you."_

 _"Wait, you want to play hide and seek? I love that game."_

 _"Yuuri, I've been looking for you for hours now and still didn't find you. Where did you run off to?"_

 _"Yuuri? I'm starting to miss you, Yuuri?"_

 _"I also start to miss that sexy face of yours when you don't wear your glasses."_

 _"And your cute little clueless frown."_

As Celestino read all the previous message, one new message appeared.

 _"Hey Yuuri, Chris said your 'glutes' felt really soft and tight. How does he know that, unless…wait, did Chris touch your 'glutes?" When I found you, would you allow me…_

Celestino did not take the time to read the entire message and dialled Viktor's number then yelled, soon the boy answered his phone; "That's it, Nikiforov! Leave my skater alone, you pervert!"

"Whaaaat?" Viktor gasped dramatically. "I'm only sixteen, you know that, right?"

"MY SKATER IS TWELVE!"

"So? Yakov is ninety years old and Lilia is seventy years old. (no, they are not)

Yuuri, slowly waking up and finally finding his voice; "Wait, it was just Viktor who send me those messages and not a creepy stalker?"

At that moment, Celestino realized calling Viktor was a bad idea, because Yuuri now turned into a giddy fan-boy and beamed like the sun.

* * *

 **#62) I am not allowed to convince Yuuri nodding burns calories. I should know it backfires on me**

"Seriously Viktor, yesterday you ate two pork cutlet bowls but your body still looks perfect. I eat one bowl and I'm like ten pounds heavier. How do you do that?"

Viktor blushes; "You really think I have a perfect body?"

"Yes, I do. I mean, no offence but with your low stamina you definitely need a secret to keep your body in perfect shape."

Viktor blushes some more. "Aw, thank you, Yuuri. Actually, I do have a secret, but I will tell you if you promise to keep it a secret."

"Okay."

"You know how people ramble at me about all kind of things and I simply nod at everything they say?"

Yuuri thinks for a moment. "Ehm, yes, now you mention it, you do nod a lot."

"Well, that's my secret. I continuously nod my head in response to things other skaters tell me. It technically burns calories."

Yuuri looks slightly doubtfully. "Seriously?"

"Well, you said it yourself. You said I nod a lot and you said my body is in perfect shape, so there's your answer."

"Whoa! I definitely should try it out."

"Sure, but remember…

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone."

A few hours later, Chris walks towards Yuuri.

"Hey there, Yuuri. Can I ask you for a favor?" Yuuri simply nodded in response as he kept reading the messages on his phone. Viktor didn't really say he had to listen to everything what was said, as long as he just kept nodding, he would burn calories. Chris is surprised. "Really?" Yuuri nods again. Chris, still surprised, smiles; "Oh, okay. You see, there is this awesome party tonight and I need someone to accompany me. Are you interested?" Yuuri, listening absently, just nods. "Thanks man. One other thing, would it be okay for you to stay with me all night and make a person extremely jealous?" Yuuri nods again. "Awesome! I'll pick you up at seven, okay?" Yuuri nodded again and Chris left, knowing he would have the best date ever with Yuuri. Viktor would be so jealous. Yuuri however, felt very proud too. He nodded like 4 times already and he felt the calories burning.

After seven, Chris and Yuuri entered the party and Viktor trotted towards them noticing Chris's hands on Yuuri's butt.

"Chris, what are you doing?!"

Chris grinned; "I asked Yuuri if I could touch his butt and kiss him whenever I felt like, and he nodded. Awesome, right?"

"This is all your fault, Viktor!" Yuuri growled before Viktor could react. Viktor gasped.

"How is this my fault?!"

"You said nodding burns calories!"

"Still, it would be a good thing to actually listen to what people ask before you nod, because shaking your head burns as much calories as nodding," Viktor exclaimed. "I tried to tell you that, but you wouldn't listen."

Yuuri sends the silver haired skater an icy stare. "You did not try to tell me that, Viktor!"

"Yes I was. I said, and remember...but you just ran off without waiting for me to finish my sentence."

Yuuri's glare becomes even more icy.

"Anyway, now I know this I'll make sure I won't ask anything else for the entire night," Chris grinned and pulled Yuuri closer. "I don't want him to shake his head to the things I ask and have him run off. He's mine tonight, Viktor. Now if you'll excuse us, we are going to search for a quiet spot and make out."

And with that, Chris starts walking straight past Viktor and across the dance floor, dragging Yuuri along. Viktor's bottom lip started to tremble. He really should have put a little more effort into making Yuuri listen instead of letting him just walk off.

* * *

 **63) No matter how ambitious I am, I am not allowed to steal other peoples' belongings and hide/bury them in the woods**

Viktor strokes his chin then says to himself as he stares at the pile of belongings in front of him; "Hmm, I already came this far. And it would be a lot of trouble to just return them again."

Twenty minutes later…

"Vitya!" Yakov roared as he charged into the room, his eyes filled with rage.

Viktor smiles sweetly; "Yes Yakov?"

"Mr Plisetski just called and told me he can't find his ancient swords!"

Viktor looks nonchalantly. "And you tell me this, why?"

Yakov crosses his arms. "Don't tell me you forgot what happened last time. You threw it in the pond claiming it wanted freedom! I think this is a lot like that!"

"Not really," Viktor snorted. "This time it just wasn't the swords."

Before Yakov could open his mouth to respond, shouts are heard from all over the ice rink.

"Where is my cat's collar!"

"My beautiful, skin-tight blue skating uniform! I can't find it anywhere!"

"Has anyone seen my glasses?!"

An even angrier Yakov turns back at Viktor, only to discover he was gone. Viktor escaped out the window and ran as fast as his feet could carry him back to the woods to try find the spot where he had buried all the items. Sadly, he couldn't remember where it was.

* * *

 **#64) I am not allowed to swap clothes with Yuuri**

Viktor was brilliant. And no one would notice the difference, that's for sure. Happily, the young skater entered the ice rink wearing Yuuri's dark blue glitter vest, grinning from ear to ear. His long, silky hair tied in a ponytail.

"Nikiforov?" Celestino asked, watching Viktor skate across the ice then turned to face him.

"You must mistaken me with someone else, dear sir," Viktor said, sticking his nose up in the air. "My name is Yuuri (Katsudon) Katsuki. I'm extremely hot and I have lots and lots of…"

"Nikiforov!"

"…stamina." Cue wide smirk. Sadly enough, he was met with glares of rage.

"Is that the skating costume I asked Yuuri to wear at the short program tonight?"

Viktor strokes his chin as he thinks. "Maybe…"

Suddenly a wild roar comes from inside the changing rooms. "VIKTOR, GIVE BACK MY COTUME, RIGHT NOW!"

"Well?" Celestino asked when Viktor didn't make an attempt to return the clothes. "Return the costume, right now. I don't want my skater to skate naked tonight."

Viktor smirks; "Oh, don't worry, he doesn't need to. I left my Eros costume on the bench for him to wear tonight. I know he loves that one."

Satisfied, Viktor skates away and starts to make a few perfect pirouettes on the ice, beaming happily at Yuuri, who's coming from the changing rooms wearing Viktor's Eros costume and the biggest blush imaginable.

* * *

 **#65) No matter how much I want to give them a nice little push towards the OtaYuri relationship, I am not allowed to hide Yurio's clothes and have him lend one of Otabek's leather jackets.**

Making sure Yurio wouldn't see him, Viktor grinned to himself when he watched the boy search the dressing room for his best jacket. The poor kid had been looking for it for minutes now and he started to look really angry for the fact he's running late for his very first practice with Otabek as his rink mate. Yup, Yakov decided to become Otabek's coach too, but of course he would make sure there is a lot of space between the two boys when they practice together. No way he wanted Otabek's bad reputation rub off on Yurio. Suddenly, without noticing Viktor, Otabek entered the dressing room.

"Are you coming or what?"

Yurio spins on his heels to face Otabek then starts to blush awkwardly. "Yeah, I just need my jacket and I can't find it anywhere."

"Then skate without it."

"I need it, alright? It keeps me warm." Yurio turned back to face the bench and started to thoroughly search for his jacket again. In his sports bag. Between the other skaters' clothes. Under the bench. It was nowhere to be found.

While Yurio was desperately searching for his favorite jacket, Otabek watched him momentarily before chewing on the inside of his mouth, thoughtfully. Then he rolled his eyes and took his own jacket off.

"Here, borrow mine," Otabek said curtly then extended his hand with the jacket to hand it to Yurio. Yurio eyed the jacket momentarily then blushed madly.

"Seriously? You allow me to borrow your favorite, leather jacket?"

Otabek shrugs shortly. "Sure, why not?"

Yurio starts to blush even more then takes the jacket and puts it on. It's a little too big for him, but it's incredibly warm. The blond wraps himself in it a bit more, engulfing himself in Otabek's warmth, then follows his favorite skater towards the ice rink, with a radiant blush on his cheeks.

* * *

 **#66) Nor am I allowed to try see if my #1 fan looks cute in my Russian track suit**

Viktor was 'welcomed' by an angry glare from his coach as he entered the ice rink. The reason; Yurio refusing to leave Otabek's side during practice, and Yakov knew that Viktor somehow had something to do with it and the leather jacket Yurio was wearing.

"Oh, come on. Even you have to admit Yurio is a much more pleasant person to work with right now," Viktor commented with the most sweetest smile. Viktor met stares of pure rage. "No?"

"I only agreed to coach that brat if you made sure he wouldn't come too close to Yurochka! And instead, you hide Yurochka's jacket and have Otabek lend his! If that kid's bad reputation rubs off on Yurochka, and Mr. Plisetski tries to kick my butt for it, I'll tell him to kick yours instead!"

Viktor simply smiles at Yakov as if he's just a cute little puppy instead of an infuriated Pitbull, then zones out completely as his own mind starts to ponder how Yuuri would look like in his track suit. There is only one way to find out, right?

"Coach Yakov, I know you need me right now to blow off some steam, but there is a sudden tiny experiment I have to do," Viktor smiled, cutting Yakov's angry words off, abruptly. Then, before Yakov had the chance to respond, Viktor dashed away leaving an utterly stunned coach behind.

Later…

"Minako, I promise I won't stay long!" Viktor cried gleefully as he charged down the hotel room door, startling Minako who was about grab a drink from the min-bar. Viktor halted his stride the spun around, looking for Yuuri. "Where is little piglet?"

Minako rolls her eyes. "In the bathroom, why?"

"Perfect!" Viktor dashed cheerfully inside Yuuri's bedroom then returned with the biggest, dreamy look in history and his sports bag filled with Yuuri's clothes. Then noticing Minako's confused look; "Just wait before asking questions, okay?"

It took a while but finally Yuuri comes strolling outside his bedroom.

"Minako, all my clothes disappeared for some reason, and all I could find was this track suit that looks identical-Viktor, what are you doing here?" Yuuri gasped surprised when he noticed the skater's presence.

Viktor, with big, round teary eyes; "Yuuri! You look so freaking adorable in my track suit. All that is missing is my jacket." Before Yuuri knew what happened, Viktor hoisted him in his Russian sports jacket. "Aw, you look gorgeous!" Viktor looked at Minako to share a proud look with her, but he met looks of anger. "What?"

"I promised his mom, my longest and best friend, to protect her son while we are here, but so far you managed to get him drunk a couple of time, nearly marked him with a tattoo, and dragged him to a rock concert! No way I will have you change his entire wardrobe and turn him into a second version of yourself!" Minako screamed, chasing Viktor out the door with a broom.

Yuuri was blushing too hard to anything else than engulf himself in the smell of Viktor that lingered in the jacket's fibres.

* * *

 **#67) I am not allowed to read Yuuri's diary out loud in the changing room**

"Hiya guys! Tonight I wanna share something that is not entirely mine but belongs to a very close friend of mine. He's too shy to share it with you himself." Viktor smiled at the small crowd that was gathered in the changing room, opened the diary he was holding, and finally cleared his throat.

Dear Diary

11-29-2000, my 7th birthday

Mari, my sister, gave me a pair of figure skates today and I instantly showed them to my best friend, and rink mate, Yuuko. While I was posing for her with my new skates, Takeshi skated across the ice and bumped me of my feet. As if that wasn't already painful enough, he started bullying me. Yuuko tried to defend me, but all Takeshi did was laughing.

A little while later, the three of us sat in the changing room and Yuuko told me about her idol who happened to be the best figure skater in the whole world. She was blocking my view so I couldn't really see what was happening on TV, but soon she turned around and stepped aside, I saw the most beautiful figure skater skate gracefully his routine in a competition. His long, silver hair was tied in a ponytail, but it still…"

"VIKTOR, GIVE ME BACK MY DIARY!" Yuuri bellowed, charging inside the changing room.

"See Otabek, that's the reason why I would protect my diary with a self-detonating lock. When breaking it, KABOOM!" Yurio grinned when he watched Viktor run for his life.

* * *

 **#68) I am not allowed to duel with Minami and claim, whoever wins, dates Yuuri**

"GET BACK HERE, KIP-NUGGET ON LEGS!" an all too familiar voice bellowed. Yuuri turned around alarmed then saw Viktor sprint after Minami with one of Mr Plisetski's swords. Minami clutched one in his hand as he ran, too afraid to use it on Viktor. Another blur swooped by, (Yakov) ordering the boys to stand still. Then all three of them disappeared out of sight, leaving Yuuri behind with his jaws dropped.

Realizing there was a chance things might turn ugly, Yuuri woke from his gaped state and rushed into the direction the skaters and the angry coach disappeared into. As he closed in on them, his ears filled with the clashing sounds of swords. Horrified, Yuuri spun around the corner of the hallway and was stupefied by what was in front of him.

Viktor and Minami are exchanging blows, their swords clashing, sparks flying in all directions. Yakov pressed with his back against the wall, cowering away when the sword fighting skaters came dangerously close.

"Viktor, Minami! What are you two doing?!" Yuuri choked out in pure fear.

Both skaters pause briefly, then Minami wailed while tears welled from his eyes; "Viktor forces me to duel with him and the winner wins a date with you."

"And I'm about to win!" Viktor hollered, smelling his victory already as he heaved his sword dangerously.

Yakov then proceeds to pummel Viktor. The sight wasn't pretty.

* * *

 **#69) I am not allowed to hide myself in a clothing rack because I think I can scare the crap out of Yurio. I should know that kids nerves are as strong as steel**

Yurio browsed through a clothing rack for a new shirt when suddenly…

"PICK ME!" Viktor cried merrily when his face popped into view. Sadly enough he met Yurio's VERY angry look. Yurio grabbed a fist full of Viktor's long hair and dragged him from under the clothing rack. "NO! Not my hair! It's already becoming so thin!" Viktor wailed in pain.

"I DON'T CARE!" Yurio bellowed infuriated. "THIS IS YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR TRYING TO SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF ME, YOU OLD MAN!"

"I'm not old, I'm sixteen," Viktor whimpered in pain, trying to untangle his hair from Yurio's strong grip.

It was finally Otabek who was able to calm Yurio down by letting him smell his leather jacket.

* * *

 **#70) I am not allowed to be sarcastic**

Viktor skates across the ice, preparing himself for a jump but slips and falls with a thud on the ice.

"Ha, what happened? You fell?" Yurio laughed when he entered the rink and saw Viktor trying to get back on his feet.

"No, I attacked the floor," Viktor replied.

Yurio frowns. "Backwards?"

"Yeah, I'm freaking talented."

Sure, even the best skaters fall, but not that Viktor will ever admit that. Especially not to a mean little six year old with a strong love for cats.

* * *

 **Which one was your favorite? I think mine is #62 xD**

 **Anyway, I also wanted to let you know that if you have an idea, you can either drop them in the review section or pm them to me. If I like them/get inspired by them, I will try to use it. Of course you will be credited for the idea :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**#71. Even I want to see how Yuuri looks like as a toddler, I am not allowed to try turn him into one [I should know I get distracted easily]**

"But Yuuri, this is not just an ordinary tree branch!" Viktor wailed sadly, waving with the weird looking stick he once stole from a 'hobo' looking man. "It's a magic staff."

Yuuri, trying to make his homework, lifted up his eyes then dragged in a deep breath. "Viktor, back in Russia you claimed it was a Kali stick, made for you to fight crime with."

"Yes, and I was wrong!" Viktor said, hanging his head down as if he was embarrassed of his mistake. Then he smiled almost instantly again. "But you, me and Phichit made a criminal disappear with it, which proves this is an magical staff."

Yuuri shook his head in disbelieve. "Seriously, Viktor? Are you that dent to think he disappeared because you swayed with a stick?"

"How else did he disappear?"

"By running, like every normal human being would do when they see a crazy long haired skater sway with a stick." Yuuri pulled in another exasperated sigh. "Seriously, you should have left that thing in Russia. I even have no idea how you managed to get that thing through airport security."

Viktor smiles proudly. "I hit Yakov on the head with it then used it as support to keep him up and claimed it was his walking cane." After picturing the airport scene inside his head, Yuuri figured it was very impossible, but instead of telling Viktor that, he decided to just drop the issue.

"Look, I have to catch up a lot of homework, okay? Just entertain yourself in the hot spring while I'll finish this."

"But Yuuri…"

"It's not a magic staff, Viktor."

"We turned Yurio into a cat, remember?"

"We just hallucinated it due to all that smoke from your smoke-bombs."

"But the hobo said it himself! When I wanted to return it to him, like you told me to…

"He waved his fist in anger then you ran. I remember." Yuuri slumped back into his desk seat, sighing exasperated. "Viktor, what do I have to do so you would let me finish my homework?"

Viktor smiles. "Allow me to turn you into a toddler. I really, REALLY want to see how you look like." Yuuri rolled his eyes.

"Fine! Will you leave me alone then and let me finish my homework?"

"Have you ever seen a toddler making his…

"VIKTOR!"

"Fine! If you let me turn you into a toddler, I will let you finish your homework."

Yuuri inhales a annoyed sigh then rises to his feet, opens his arm and says, sarcastically; "Fine! Hit me with your best shot." Viktor beamed with glee then stepped back, inhaled deeply and waved the tick staff, wildly, while picturing Yuuri as a toddler. Then something unexpectedly happened.

"Vitya! How dare you to hit me on the head with your…" Yakov didn't get the chance to finish his sentence, because the moment he came stomping into the room, Viktor lost his concentration and a spark erupted from the piece of wood then bounced against all four walls of Yuuri's room before it hit Yakov straight in his chest. The poor coach flew back with force while a cloud of smoke swallowed him whole. Viktor and Yuuri both recoiled to the floor when it happened then waited for the smoke to clear. When it finally did, Yakov was gone.

"And you wanted to use that thing on me?!" Yuuri exclaimed, pale as a sheet.

Viktor grins sheepishly; "Hey, you said it was not a magical staff." Yuuri looked at his idol as if he wanted to kill him. Not that Viktor noticed it. He was too busy with looking for his coach.

* * *

 **#72. When Yuuri tries to tell me what happened to Yakov, I am not allowed to act hysterically. Not even when I absolutely think Yuuri wants to confront me with my biggest fobia**

Yakov opened his eyes. Something had blasted him with a knock to the wall, but what? Then it all came back to him in a flash. His stupid student had been fooling around with that stupid stick of his, again.

"VITYA!" Yakov roared angrily as he scrambled to his feet. Then he saw something that was very out of the ordinary. The wall in front of him looked enormous. Sure, walls had always been taller than him, but this was different. This time the wall made him seem like he was not taller than a pinky finger.

Wondering whether he was still knocked out and dreaming or not, Yakov suddenly felt something drip down into the back of his neck. Wondering what it could be, the poor coach dropped his head into the back of his neck and looked up. That's when he saw an gigantic, brown curly furred animal before his vision was clouded by a second 'waterfall' of dog saliva.

"NO MAKKACHIN, AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Yakov screeched in fear as he ran up and down the hallway, chased by Viktor's dog. "Bad dog! Bad dog! Sit you stupid animal!" Yakov roared as he ran back down the hallway then into Yuuri's bedroom. There he found Yuuri sitting by his desk, making homework. Yakov didn't think twice and quickly tried to take cover between Yuuri's feet.

Makkachin, not prepared to let her 'target' go that easily, squirms herself between Yuuri's feet making the young boy nearly fall from his seat.

"Makkachin! Wat is wrong with you?" Yuuri exclaimed, grabbing the dog's neck and trying to pull her back from under his desk. Makkachin however, wasn't prepared to listen. "Bad girl! What are you doing down there?!"

Dropping himself to the floor, on hands and knees, Yuuri pushes Makkachin out of the way to retrieve whatever toy rolled under his desk. But then his eyes widened in utter shock, because there stood Yakov. He was as tall as Yuuri's pinky and he stood pushed with his back against the wall in fear. Yuuri's jaws dropped agape. Then, once he found his voice again…

"VIKTOR!"

Prepared to protect his little Katsudon for whatever danger he's in, Viktor scrambled to his feet then rushed down the hallway and finally into Yuuri's room, readying his fists. He was slightly disappointed to see his Katsudon was in no danger at all. Instead, his Katsudon stood up and walked towards him, holding something in his hands.

"Viktor, you really outdone yourself today," Yuuri said then opened his hands to show miniature Yakov. "You just turned…

"AAAAH, SPIDER!" Viktor screamed then slapped miniature Yakov from Yuuri's hands then quickly sprinted out the room, hysterically screaming. Yuuri stood frozen in his spot, not knowing what to think of his recent discovery. His idol, Viktor Nikiforov, has arachnophobia.

* * *

 **#73. I am not allowed to use mini Yakov for my own entertainment**

"Yuuri," Viktor cried anxiously, poking his head around the bedroom door. "Did you find that horrible beast and threw it out?"

Yuuri, knowing Yakov must have landed onto his bed somewhere, searched for the coach frantically as he replied Viktor's question. "No Viktor, I haven't found him yet. Besides, it wasn't even a spider."

"If it wasn't a spider, what else could be so tiny and ugly?" Viktor felt an shiver run down his spine while thinking about it.

"Your coach," Yuuri replied then spotted Yakov's tiny, unconscious body near his pillow. "Found him!" Yuuri exclaimed relieved then picked Yakov up gently before placing him onto his flat hand, walking back to the silver haired skater. "See?"

Viktor scurries closer then peeks at Yuuri's hand. His Katsudon is right? It wasn't a spider but his very own, miniature coach. Viktor stroke his chin, thoughtfully.

"You know, I expected him to look very cute, but he's as ugly as always. No worries, I know what to do."

Before Yuuri has the chance to react, Viktor snatches Yakov from his hand then skips out the room, clutching the poor coach in his fist. Yuuri decides to leave him be and resumes back to his homework.

An hour later…

Yuuri finally finished his homework then decided to look for Viktor and ask him to join him at skating practice. Sadly, he only found Minako watching a show about half-naked men. Yuuri cleared his throat.

"What do you want, Yuuri?" Minako asked, slightly agitated for the fact he interrupted her show.

"Have you seen Viktor?"

Without taking her eyes off the TV, Minako points at the ceiling and says; "He's at the attic playing with Mari's old doll house. Mari tried to tell him her miniature dolls go lost years ago, but then Viktor said Yakov wouldn't mind being alone and he hasn't left hat room ever since. Seriously, that boy needs to get out more."

Yuuri slaps his forehead. Fearing what he might find, Yuuri walked up the stairs then reached the attic. There he found Viktor, like Minako described, playing with Yakov who was dressed in pink flowered dress. Yuuri quickly backed out again, looking just as bemused as Yakov.

* * *

 **#74. I am not allowed to help Yuuri with his chemistry homework [I should know things would turn into a disaster]**

"Yes! Everything is going according to plan," Yuuri said to himself, mixing one liquid after another into the test tube, following each step in his chemistry book, carefully. Then he takes notes of the reactions. Yuuri fulfils one experiment after another, then suddenly the door bursts open with force.

"Hiya, my dear little piggy!" Viktor skipped into the room then hugged Yuuri from behind, nearly making the poor kid faint in shock. "Don't worry. It's just me." Before Yuuri realized what happened, Viktor snatched his chemistry book and gave the pages a quick glance before he smiled; "Back in Russia I had to do the same experiments, and guess what? I passed them all with a straight A. Here, let me do it for you so you will pass too!" Viktor bumped Yuuri out of the way with his hip then starts dumping random mixtures into one and another. Yuuri looked at the scenery, shell-shocked.

"STOP!" Yuuri finally chocked out when the substance in the test tube started to boil dangerously. "You're doing it wrong!"

"Relax, little piggy. It's all going as it should be." Viktor threw a beaming smile at Yuuri. Yuuri strongly doubted Viktor's words and pulled his idol underneath the table with him. Then suddenly…

BOOM!

Scared what kind of damage he would find, Yuuri scrambled from underneath the table, closely followed by his awe-struck friend. Everything around them was covered in a purple substance. Yuuri slowly turned to face Viktor. His eyes filled with rage.

Viktor plasters his most sweetest smile on then says; "Piggy, before you hurt me, keep in mind that I love you and…"

Yuuri did not let Viktor finish. He launched himself forward to throttle the silver haired skater, but he already had bolted. Yuuri then grabbed his chemistry book and pursued, yelling; "Viktor! Get back right now so I can shove this book up your…

The remaining parts of Yuuri's threat was drown out by Viktor's screams of pure fear.

* * *

 **#75. I am not allowed to claim Yuuri's attention when he's trying to interact with other skaters**

"Yuuri, you are the best figure skater I've ever seen!" Minami exclaimed, jumping up and down like a rabbit on drugs. "Can I please, please, please, PLEASE have your autograph?!"

Yuuri eyes the blond figure skater nervously then replies, hesitantly; "Sure…just…"

"Hiya my little piggy!" Viktor enveloped his arms around Yuuri's neck from behind then whispers into his ear; "Do you know what looks good on you? ME!"

A red blush rushed upon Yuuri's face, and Minami shot a jealous glare at Viktor.

* * *

"Hey there, my favorite Japanese skater," Chris whispered into Yuuri's ear as he approached him from behind and placed his hand onto Yuuri's butt. "Did you miss me?"

"Chris!" Yuuri chocked out in shock, then saw Viktor heading towards them with a sad expression on his face. After trying to wrestle Chris's hand off his butt, Yuuri asks; "Viktor, is everything alright?"

Viktor drags in a deep, sad sigh. "To be honest, no. You stand here with Chris and my head says, who cares? But then my heart whispers, you do, stupid." Chris rolled his eyes majorly. Yuuri blushed madly.

"V-Viktor. Chris and I are just friends."

"Really?" Viktor beamed a radiant smile at his number one fan. While having Yuuri clutched into a tight bear hug, Viktor smirked tauntingly at Chris who still stood behind Yuuri, shooting daggers with his eyes.

* * *

 **#76. I am not allowed to pretend I'm Olaf and ask Yakov about his love life [he doesn't like that]**

Even though his performance in the short program was flawless, Viktor still received a huge lecture from his coach when they sat at the kiss and cry waiting for Viktor's total score. Viktor however, scratched his ear the entire time, as if he didn't hear any of it.

"VITYA!"

"Oh, were you talking to me?" Viktor asked, looking at his coach who nodded slowly in response. His eyes filled with a deranged glare. Viktor took no notice of the glare and simply smiled; "But my name is not Vitya, dear sir. I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs."

Before Yakov can progress what just happened, Viktor's arms clutches around him and pull him in for a warm hug. Yakov did not like it, at all.

"Vitya! Let go of me!" Viktor sighed sadly but released his coach then slurped the remaining bit of water from his water bottle, awkwardly. The bendy straw he used made an loud slurpy noise which started to irritate his coach even more. His eyes turned even more murderously.

"So, do you have a 'special someone' waiting for you to return home?" Viktor asked, breaking the awkward silence. He wriggled his eyebrows while beaming like the sun. "Because, you know, if not…I'm more than happy to set up a date for you. You see, I'm a love exp…" Viktor was rudely, and painfully, interrupted by Yakov who had enough of it and poked the bendy straw from Viktor's water bottle up in his nostril. Viktor looked at it, touched it gently then cried with glee; "I love it! It's like a baby unicorn!"

And with that, Viktor dashed away to show it to everyone who would be interested enough. Behind him, Yakov slumped his face down into Viktor's onigiri plush, muffling his wild, aggravated roars.

* * *

 **#77. Even when it's normal in Japan for men to bath together , I am not allowed to try do the same thing in Russia [and pointing out all the perks won't help]**

Yakov is enjoying his long and warm morning bath when suddenly, Viktor skipped inside wearing nothing but a towel. Yakov nearly got a heart attack then roars; "Vitya, get out!"

"Would you just relax," Viktor said, rolling his eyes majorly. Why did Yakov always had to be so over-dramatic? "It's not like I came here to kill you. I came here to share this bath with you."

"NO!" Yakov yelled then grabbed his bar of soap. "Get out or else I'll throw this at your face!"

"But, Yakov!" Viktor wailed in protest. "It's normal for men to share a bath. I've seen and done it many times in Japan."

"GET OUT!" Yakov threw the soap but Viktor saw it coming and ducked away. Then he straightens his bearings and smiled.

"I detect a lot of hostility here. Bathing together might fix that. Yuuri said…" A shampoo bottle came flying at his face, but Viktor stepped out of the way quickly and it collapsed with the wall behind him instead. Then he sighed. "Yakov, do you hate me so much and don't want to strengthen our bond? If that's the problem, at least think about the environment. Bathing together will save water and…" The vein at the side of Yakov's head seemed to be on the verge of popping, so Viktor decided it was best to leave his coach be. "You know what, Yakov, point taken. I'll go find my katsudon. I'm pretty sure he won't mind sharing his bath or bonding with me while saving the environment at the same time."

Viktor sticks his nose in the air, pompously, then trotted back out the door. Yakov however, quickly scrambled out of his bath to dry himself off and stop, or better yet, save his young student from getting that close to the Japanese closet perv.

* * *

Minako was interrupted by a knock on the hotel room door. When she answered it she found Viktor, beaming at her brightly.

"Hiya, Minako! I was wondering if Yuuri is around."

Minako looks at Viktor briefly, eyeing him with suspicion. Then she sighed. "He's taking a bath, so you'll just have to wait on the couch and…" Viktor forced himself past Minako then dashed across the room and disappeared into the bathroom.

"Hey there, my little piggy!" Viktor entered the bathroom with glee written all over his face. "You don't mind the company, do you?" Yuuri's mouth dropped agape, then when Viktor starts to take off his clothes, Minako grabbed his ear and pulled him back out the room. Viktor whimpered in pain. "Not fair. I want to strengthen my bond with my little katsudon!"

"Not until you both are legal aged!" Minako yelled, and with that, she threw poor Viktor out.

* * *

 **#87. There is nothing funny about bullying a six year old, so I am not allowed to turn on the hot water tap when Yurio is showering [not even when it's as payback and I think he deserves is]**

"Trust me, Yuuri, he deserves it," Viktor said, holding the hot water tap ready to switch it on. Yuuri shook his head in disbelieve.

"Really, Viktor? Why on Earth would Yurio deserve a cold shower?"

"Because..."

 _Flashback starts…_

Viktor waited at the restaurant for his blind date, Yuuri, to arrive. Yurio organized it, and when Viktor pointed out that it wasn't a real blind date if you know who the date was, the six year old gave him a blind fold and smirked; "It's called a blind date because you will wear this." Viktor merely shrugged and put the blind fold on.

Just when Viktor thought he was set up by the little rascal, two arms wrapped around him from behind. One hand remained placed on his chest while the other moved down South, and butterfly kisses were given along his neck. Viktor couldn't help but smirk.

"How about we have some dinner first before heading straight to desert. I mean, isn't that why we are here, Yuuri?"

"Yuuri?!" Viktor froze in shock when the person stopped kissing his neck and exclaimed Yuuri's name in surprise. He instantly recognized the voice. It belonged to…

"CHRIS!" Viktor yelled out and with a quick pull of his hand, he removed the blind fold. "What? Why…?" Suddenly a familiar laugh echoed through the restaurant. Viktor looked around then found the source, securely hidden behind a plant, making pictures of Viktor's embarrassing moment. "Yurio! I will get you back for this!"

"Ha! Preferably after I posted these pictures on my blog!" and with that, Yurio ran out, laughing his head off in utter joy.

 _End flashback…_

"And that is why I say that little brat deserves this," Viktor said, importantly, then, before Yuuri could stop him, Viktor turned the warm water tap on. Right on cue, a high pitched, girly scream came from inside the bathroom. Viktor laughed uproariously , and while Yurio tried to get away from the cold water raining down in him, Viktor dashed up the stairs then entered the bathroom. Right, at that moment, poor Yurio tripped over the shower curtain, loses his footings and falls with a thud onto the bathroom floor. "This is just priceless!" Viktor laughed.

Yurio looks up with pure rage. "Viktor, I will get you back for this!"

"Ha! Preferably after I posted all these pictures on my tumblr, Instagram, twitter and all my other social media sites. #payback-is-bitch. #nothing-is-more-sweeter-than-sweet-revenge. #hey-Otabek-look-at-Yurio's-cute-little-butt," Viktor smirked, leaving the bathroom, guffawing loudly.

* * *

 **#79. I am not allowed to use my papa's handcuffs to cuff me and Yuuri together**

Mr. Nikiforov had searched the entire house for his handcuffs, but they were nowhere to be found. He hadn't left them at work the other day, right? Suddenly Viktor came bouncing into the room, closely followed by Yuuri.

"Hiya, Papa. Are you looking for something?" Viktor asked when he saw his father search the couch, thoroughly.

Mr. Nikiforov sighs. "Actually, yes. My handcuffs. Have you seen them by any chance?"

"Would you get mad at me when I tell you I did see them?" Viktor asked, looking slightly awkward while Yuuri blushed madly. Mr. Nikiforov eyed the both of them with suspicion.

"Vitya, why would I get mad at you if you told me you've seen them?"

"You know…because…" Viktor chuckled awkwardly. "Because you're gonna find out what I did with it."

Mr. Nikiforov pulled in a deep, heavy breath. "Vitya, what have you done with my handcuffs?" Viktor, who hid his arm behind his back the entire time, now pulls it up and shows it to his dad. His wrist was cuffed with Yuuri's, who now even turned deeper red in embarrassment. Mr. Nikiforov slapped his forehead tiredly. "I'll probably will regret asking you this, but why did you cuff your arm together with your friend's?"

"Because, at first, it seemed like a good idea," Viktor beamed happily.

Mr. Nikiforov's face darkened. He knew asking the question would make him regret it. Then he rubbed the sides of his head, slowly. "Vitya, I'm getting late for work. Just tell me where the keys are and we will talk about this again, tonight."

"Ah…yes…about the keys," Viktor smiled sheepishly. "Would you get mad at me if I told you what I've done with it?"

Mr. Nikiforov clenched his teeth; "Vitya, what did you do with the keys?"

"Papa, keep in mind that I'm still a teen, which basically means I'm not responsible enough and don't think things through when an idea pops into my head. Long story short, Yuuri and I agreed it would be fun doing things together like, eating together and sleep together and taking baths together, etcetera, etcetera."

"You could have done all of that without my handcuffs!"

"Yeah, but this sounded way more fun, papa," Viktor wailed.

"Seriously, Vitya? Did it ever occurred to either of you that you also have to stand next to each other during toilet visits?"

Viktor chuckled awkwardly. "Yeah, we realized the exact same thing…after I swallowed the keys." Both Viktor and Yuuri had to run really fast.

* * *

 **#80.** **No matter how concerned I am for the citizens, I am not allowed to take Mr. Plisetski's swords**

Celestino, about to enter Hasetsu Ice Castle with Yuuri, raised his eyebrow as he watched Viktor troop by. His head was held high and his nose in the air and he had a sword in his hand and an air of official.

"Viktor, what are you doing?" Celestino asked suspiciously, knowing the kid was probably up to no good.

Viktor halts his trooping for a moment and said; "I'm sorry, dear sir, but I'm on duty right now. I have no time to talk to you." Celestino snorted. Since when was Viktor so formal and since when he start calling him sir? Then his curiosity takes the better of him.

"Oh, and what would be your duty, Viktor?"

"I'm patrolling the street," Viktor cheered so excitedly he almost dropped his sword. "For unwanted beasts and people."

Not waiting for Celestino to say anything more, Viktor resumed his marching and nodded politely to the people who entered Ice Castle. Celestino snorted again, then said, to Yuuri; "I give him five minutes before Yakov is here and pummels his butt for breaking another rule."

Yuuri sighed, worriedly.

* * *

 **Which one was your favorite? I think mine is 79 xD**


	9. Viktor Meets Little Yuuri

**#81] I am not allowed to convince Mari to knit skate warmers for the figure skaters' blades. [they will never be respected again]**

How Viktor managed to convince Mari to knit warmers for their blades, the figure skaters still don't know, but they were utterly shocked and surprised when the silver haired boy and his number 1 fan's sister skipped inside the ice rink and left a bag with colorful blade warmers. It was quite embarrassing when they had to enter the competition rink, and their fans, coaches and everyone else saw the knitted items.

They were taunted about it, for months.

* * *

 **#82] When people take a bath in the hot spring, I am not allowed to take away their robes or towels**

Viktor was feeling very bored. Yakov had taken away his skates as punishment, because the young skater decided to lock him and Lilia up in a room, hoping they would talk things through and bond again. Instead, all they did was banging on the door and yelling for someone to let them out. Viktor sighed sadly when thinking about his failed plan. Now he wasn't allowed to skate for a whole day, and his brains just didn't come up with other ideas to do.

While strolling through the bathing area, Viktor suddenly spotted Yuuri soaking in the hot springs, his back facing him. Viktor's eyes scanned the Japanese skater's back then slowly dart towards the towels and the bathrobe, lying on the ground behind Yuuri. An idea entered the silver haired skater's head and a smirk curled the sides of his lips. Then, without making too much noise, Viktor snuck inside, clutched Yuuri's belongings into his arms then fled out again, snickering softly.

Realizing he had soaked for far too long, Yuuri turned around and started to climb out the water, but then stopped by the sight of an empty floor. A dumbfounded look grew on his face as he started to look around. He had left his stuff on the floor, right? But then, where was it?

Five minutes passed as Yuuri debated with himself whether it was a good idea or not to run naked to his room. It was still early in the morning, so how much of a risk was there that someone saw him? Yuuri decided to take his chances and rushed outside the hot spring and across the hallway. He would have made it to his room if it wasn't for Viktor to step around the corner, smirking from ear to ear.

"You look fine and dandy today, little piggy!" Viktor laughed. Yuuri turned pale as a sheet and tried to use his hands to cover most of his most private parts as his brain tried to come up with an idea that could help him out of his embarrassing predicament. Then he received the best idea ever.

"Viktor, you're dreaming." Yuuri tried to look as convincing as possible. The smirk on Viktor's face only grew bigger.

"Trust me, little piggy, this is not a dream. Also, my advice is to face the door when you decide to take a soak in the hot springs." Yuuri rushed past Viktor and into his room with a loud screech, shutting the door behind him with a thud. Viktor however, laughed loudly. "You won't find any clothes in there!"

* * *

Yakov decided to take a long, hot shower in the private bathroom while singing a happy tune that more sounded like a cat being dragged down a blackboard. Then, unaware to him, a silver haired head pokes around the corner of the bathroom door, grinning widely.

 _"For a person who hates bathing with other people, you would expect him to lock the door during showering,"_ Viktor thought to himself as Yakov proceeded his 'happy' song, behind the shower curtain. Viktor's eyes slowly darted to the stool with stacked towels. The grin grows bigger. " _Someone might think you want ME to steal your stuff."_

After another ten minutes, Yakov finally turned off the shower then, when rubbing the water from his face and eyes with one hand, his other hand searched for the stack of towels on the other side of the shower curtain. Sadly, all he grabs is air.

"WHAT THE F*…!" Yakov growled then pushed the curtain aside, noticing an empty stool. His eyes shot at the open bathroom door when he heard footsteps approach, down the hallway.

A few seconds later, an over excited Viktor bounced past the open doorway wrapped into Yakov's towels, singing while flipping his long, silvery hair; "I'm a pretty princess! Yuuuuuuri! Do you want to be my suitor?!"

* * *

 **#83] I am not allowed to try shave Minami's hair off**

Yuuri steps onto the ice. His heart pounds into his chest. It's his first free skate, and his idol, Viktor Nikiforov, sat somewhere in the crowd, watching him. He would make his idol sooo proud, but suddenly…

"Yuuri! You can do it!" The Japanese skater looked up and found his giddy fan, Minami, bouncing up and down at the side-line. "WHOO-HOO! YUURI ROCKS!"

Suddenly, another voice hollered in sing-song voice…

"Oh, Minami?!"

That's when Yuuri saw Viktor, propelling himself through the crowd and towards Minami, holding an electric shaver. Minami shrieked in fear then made a break for it. Viktor followed in tow, cackling madly then pinned the poor blond skater to the wall as he searched for a socket to start up the shaver.

Luckily for Minami, Viktor was stopped by Yakov who dragged the crazy skater by the shrubs of his neck to a room in the back and later wasn't allowed to congratulate Yuuri with his new score.

Of course, Viktor already had a payback plan in mind, making Yakov regret the whole punishment thing. It involved a few grey hairs and an shaver.

* * *

 **#84] I am not allowed to provoke Yakov [I should know by now, it's better to run then stay when he's angry]**

"VITYA!" Yakov roared as he came scrambling from outside his changing room and spurted inside the boys changing room without knocking first. His flaming eyes scanned the room until he found the culprit he was looking for, sighing dreamily over a picture of Yuuri in the latest skating magazine. A bit of drool crept down his bottom lip. Yakov stomped over then swatted the magazine away and pointed at his shirt. Or better yet, the enormous yellow-reddish stain that covered the front side. "How many times do I have to tell you…STOP USING MY SHIRTS AS A DISHCLOTH!"

Viktor's eyes, looking shocked and surprised for a moment because Yakov swatted his magazine away, suddenly start to sparkle in mischief as he grinned; "Oh, Yakov. You should know by now I'd never listen to anything you say."

At that moment, steam started to erupt from Yakov's ears. With a deranged look in his eyes, the coach slowly zoomed closer and closer to Viktor, casting a very enormous and dark shadow over him. Viktor however, didn't stop grinning.

Minutes later, Yuuri sauntered down the hallway towards the changing room, nearly bumping into Viktor who came outside, soaking wet and cupping both of his ears with his hands.

"Little piggy, you finally came!" Viktor wailed, enveloping both arms around the twelve year old, and proceeded sobbing. "Yakov gave me a cold shower and the worst talk of my life by screaming every word through a megaphone, only because I accidentally mistook his best shirt for a dishcloth!"

Yuuri's mind started to race, trying to figure out whether he should be angry at Viktor and be on Yakov's side for once, or actually enjoy the fact he disobeyed another rule and was now in his arms, ready to be soothed by him. The slowly appearing blush on his cheeks said enough.

* * *

 **#85] I am not allowed to try do my dad's job, especially not because I'm still partly deaf**

Chris, Yuuri, Yurio and Otabek stepped outside the ice rink and were about to cross the street when suddenly a police car stopped in front of them, abruptly. The window on the passenger side rolled down and they saw Viktor, sitting behind the wheel smirking widely at them.

"Sweet! You stole your dad's police car!" Yurio cheered happily then he six year old opened the passenger seat door and was about to step in but stopped by Chris.

"Oh, no you won't! Criminals are supposed to sit in the backseat!" With a grin, Chris directed Yurio into the backseat and was followed by Otabek shortly after. Then he looked at Yuuri, waiting for him to step in, but he was too busy with being worried.

"Uh, am I the only one who's wondering whether or not it's a crime to steal a police car? I mean, stealing a car is already a crime, so I can imagine stealing a police…" The poor twelve year old didn't get the time to finish his sentence for he was pushed into the backseat by Chris who then hopped beside Viktor.

They were driving around for a while until Viktor stepped on the breaks. The police car came to a halt, abruptly, causing everyone to flip forward then back into their seats. Then they saw why Viktor made the sudden stop. A woman was being dragged into the back of a van.

"BUCKLE UP, BOYS! TEAM NIKIFOROV TO THE RESCUE!" Viktor hollered loudly before stomping down the gas pedal and pursuing the fast speeding van.

"V-Viktor?!" Yuuri stammered as he tried to keep himself in his seat, safe and sound. His endeavour was futile when Viktor made a sharp turn, causing his friends fly from side to side.

A rocky ride later, and totally missing a few road blocks on the way, team Nikiforov stood outside an abandon looking building. By then, Chris was very pale and all he could do was emptying his stomach around the corner of the building while Yuuri looked as if was about to pee his pants. Otabek had his usual scowl on while Yurio bounced up and down in excitement.

"AH, YOU TWO ARE ONLY SIX AND NINE, BUT YOU'RE THE BEST PARTNERS A COP CAN HAVE!" Viktor hollered and slapped both skaters on the back, one at the time.

"Viktor, you're not a cop," Chris growled, between his moments of vomiting. Not that Viktor heard him.

"Speaking about cops, maybe we should leave before they arrest us for trespassing," Yuuri chimed in. Viktor hadn't heard him either.

"ALRIGHT, MEN, WE ARE GOING INSIDE THAT BUILDING AND SA…" Viktor was interrupted by Yuuri who grabbed his arm.

"Viktor, maybe you should keep your voice down."

"WHAT?!"

"Maybe you should…

"PIGGLET, IF THERE IS SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME, SPEAK A LITTLE LOUDER! I CAN BARELY HEAR MYSELF, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET ATTACKED BY A WILD AND ANGRY YAKOV!" Viktor's friends shared an odd look then stared at Viktor as if he was crazy. Viktor looked at them with a blank face. "ALRIGHT, IF NEITHER OF YOU ARE BRAVE ENOUGH, I WILL GO BY MYSELF!"

Viktor readied himself to go for the rescue, but was stopped by two very strong hands. When he tried to object, he found two very angry eyes, belonging to a security guard. Not only that, he also saw a man holding a camera, the woman that was supposedly kidnapped and the kidnappers, all looking at him as if he was crazy. His friends stood behind them also grabbed by the shrub of their necks, all looking awkwardly.

A little while later, team Nikiforov found themselves in a holding cell and Mr. Nikiforov bowled inside, anger all over his face.

"Seriously, Vitya?! Not only you stole the keys of my car, but also used it to race through an area that was road blocked, meant to be a movie set?!"

"HIYA, PAPA! COULD YOU REPEAT THAT BECAUSE I'M STILL A LITTLE DEAF AFTER WHAT YAKOV DID TO ME TODAY!" Then noticing his dad's raging eyes, Viktor shrunk and whispered; "You know what, never mind. Will you bust us out if I say I love you?"

Two big, round blue eyes stared at Mr. Nikiforov like big puppy eyes. The cop sighed in defeat and wondered what to do with his crazy son as he signed their release papers.. After all, there are bigger crimes happening right now, so why keep a bunch of teens and little kids behind bars when you need them for the real criminals. Yurio was slightly disappointed though. He wanted to spend a night in cell for quite some time, and now Viktor's 'perfectly' blue eyes ruined it for him, once again.

* * *

 **#86] I am not allowed to go with a 'girl-who's-more-crazier-than-me' to the past, only because I'm bored and want to see my piggy as a toddler [I should know I can't handle the cuteness overload]**

Viktor lies stretched out, face down, on the break bench, his long hair dangling down the side while his coach bellows, grunts, and growls at him to get his 'lazy' ass up and get back to practicing his routines. The only reply he gets from the silver haired skater is a very deep, lazily sigh.

"Vitya! Are you even listening?!" Why did he even ask that question? Of course the 'brat' never listened to him. The 85 previous antics proves it. In that case, maybe letting the teen lie lazy on the bench all day wasn't such a bad idea. That way he didn't doing anything stupid, reckless and dangerous. And for once, he wouldn't end up in jail for breaking the law. Yakov smirked to himself then turned around to leave quietly. His idea would have been a master plan if it wasn't for that girl, Vitya associated with since antic 32, to bump into him and making him jump in surprise. "AAAGH, where did you come from?!"

The girl rolled her eyes. "From the future, dah." Before Yakov had the chance to usher her away, Viktor dragged in a deep sigh, catching her attention. "Vitya, what is the matter?"

"Bored!" Viktor announced with an even deeper sigh than he first one. The girl, Annie, sighed too. Viktor sighed again and dramatically flopped over, putting his hand to his forehead as if he was about to faint and wailed; "Today of all days, Yuuri and his family went to the beach and I'm grounded, thanks to Yakov!"

Yakov shot a glare at the silver haired boy.

Annie knits her eyebrows. "Is that all?" Viktor sent her a angry glare before getting up slowly and dragging himself down the hallway towards the exit, emitting sad sighs as he went. He didn't even bother changing first. Annie watched him leave with a sympathetic look which quickly melted into a thoughtful one. Yakov knew that was not good.

"You leave him alone, you hear me?!" Then he stomped away. When he exited Hasetsu Ice Castle he saw Viktor had plopped himself down onto the curb of the street and was engrossed in a game of rock paper and scissors with himself. It seemed like he won every time. Surprise, surprise. Yakov rolled his eyes. "If you think this miserable attitude of yours will drive me up the wall enough and let you go to the beach, you're wrong, Vitya! No means no! Now…I'll be off to get myself a sandwich and you stay put, you hear me?! Don't do anything stupid!"

Yakov sauntered off, and Viktor wondered what would qualify as stupid. He began to formulate an idea but was quickly interrupted by footsteps, coming up from behind him. Without a word, his futuristic friend sat down beside him on the curb. Viktor immediately started to ponder.

"You are from the future, right?"

"Yup."

"But for you, you're now in the past."

"Yes."

"Is it possible for you to go further into the past, like…I don't know…three or four hours before you arrived here and found me lying miserable on the bench?"

Annie frowns; "What good would that do?"

"Because three or four hours ago I got punished by Yakov for putting salt into his coffee. I want you to storm inside and stop me."

Annie scoffs. "Seriously, Viktor? You really think you can be stopped when you have an idea?"

"No…" Viktor replied then hung his head down, sighing sadly. "I suppose even further into the past, like…" Viktor started to count down on his fingers. "…Eight years isn't an option either."

"What did you do eight years ago, hire Yakov as a coach?" Annie laughed. "Viktor, we are not going to change the past, okay?"

"Hey, even I'm not that stupid!" Viktor exclaimed, looking slightly insulted. "If I wouldn't hire Yakov, I wouldn't be the perfect Figure skater I am today, meaning, Yuuri would not become my number 1 fan."

"Whoa, so you are smart? And so modest too," Annie grinned jokingly. "Nah, you're right. You are a perfect Figure skater. So…what do we have to stop you from doing then?"

Viktor sighs deep. "Actually, I want to meet little piggy. You know, toddler Yuuri. If my calculations are correct, he would be 4 years old."

"Fine." Annie rose back to her feet, dusted her clothes off then signalled at Viktor to stand up as well. Viktor obeyed quickly with an excited grin. Annie cupped the back of his neck. "This is to prevent you from getting a whiplash. Now, take a deep breath and close your eyes. Trust me. It will make you less nausea." Viktor just nodded then shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath, like ordered. He waited patiently, but felt nothing happen. Suddenly Annie released his head and neck. "Welcome to 1996!"

Viktor opens his eyes hesitantly. Everything around him still looked the same, though, a few pedestrians who crossed the street looked slightly different. Well, they clothes actually.

"Are we there yet?" Viktor asked slowly.

"Yup! How do you feel?"

"Little dizzy, I guess…but apart from that I feel fine!" Viktor beamed like the sun then turned to face the ice rink. "You think my little Yuuri would be in there right now?"

"Only one way to find out."

Viktor instantly dashed up the stairs towards the entrance and sprinted down the hallway. He opened the two large doors that lead to the rink and…his mouth dropped when he saw a dark haired toddler wearing a blue sweater with the letter Y printed on it. His eyesight became all blurry due to the happy tears. Then he opened his mouth to call for the little toddler, but suddenly another kid skated across the ice towards Yuuri and knocked him to the ground before laughing his head off. Anger boiled up inside Viktor, just like anger boiled up inside the little girl that was with Yuuri. She yelled at the kid but all he did was laugh. When little Yuuri swayed his little fists in rage, the kid only laughed more.

"That's it!" Viktor said to himself then stomped towards the ice and grabbed the little kid by the shrubs of his neck and lifted him up. "Now you listen to me, you little brat! Apologize to Y-I mean…this cute little boy and get away as far as possible before I kick your ass!"

"I-I'm s-sorry…Yuuri," the kid wailed then quickly scrambled off the ice after Viktor released him. Proudly, Viktor grinned at little Yuuri and his friend. Yuuri's mouth was dropped wide open, and the girl bounced up and down like a drugged rabbit. Totally incapable to speak.

"You are so cool and strong!" Yuuri said in amazement as he slowly scrambled to his feet. "Are you a figure skater?"

"Yup!" Viktor nodded.

"I want to be one too. Can I show you a little trick?"

Without hesitating, little Yuuri made a tiny pirouette in front of his new hero. His hero, melted slowly to a puddle, figural speaking, and started to sob happy tears. His blue eyes as big as pools.

"AAAH! Never in my entire life I have seen something so adorable as this little boy. I think I can't handle so much cuteness."

* * *

 _[a/n; little extra at the end of the chapter. Next rule, Viktor and Yuuri are 24-ish and 27-ish. I saw this funny comic drawing by Nitroxarts and asked this artist if I could turn it into a funny drabble for this antic story. I added a small little intro myself to make the drabble a bit longer, but the end of it you can find on Nitroxarts tumblr. FF has issues with links, but I think most of you know how a tumblr link works, right? LOL So yeah, that's why they are older (yet not wiser, in Viktor's case) for this rule.]_

* * *

 **#87] I am not allowed to throw a wild party and or do other wild things [I should know my memory isn't trustworthy enough to remember everything. Especially not when I'm drunk]**

"Vitya!" Yuuri sang loudly, then when he finally caught his fiancé attention, he twirled around the dance pole, showing off his 'beautiful' legs. Viktor beamed like the sun. All he wanted right now was cover Yuuri into melted chocolate. But therefore he needed a chocolate fountain. The skater looked around the party room and found what he was looking for.

"Bingo!" Viktor whispered to himself then dashed towards the fountain as he called out to Yuuri; "Piggy! Let's have some fun!"

His idea would have worked if it wasn't for Yakov to stop him. His eagle eyes caught the 27 year old instantly and arrived at the fountain before the skater did.

"This chocolate is only meant for food, Vitya!"

Viktor darts his eyes at Yuuri, then smirks; "Yeah, and?"

"Your fiancé is NOT food!"

"HA, you're so wrong, Yakov! Yuuri is the most delicious Pork-Cutlet B-

"HANDS off the chocolate, Vitya!"

Viktor shot a glare at his coach then grabbed Yuuri by the shoulders and whispered, as they walked away from Yakov; "Yuuri, are you ready to celebrate your first silver medal?"

"Depends…" Yuuri grinned. Viktor whispered something into his fiancé's ear and the grin grew wider. "You're idea sounds fun, but wouldn't we need a cameraman to film it?"

"Yeah, we totally do," Viktor said, grinning equally wide as Yuuri. "Now…we need someone who would do anything without asking questions first." Both figure skaters scanned their eyes across the room, eyeing their friends, one by one. Then they found the perfect cameraman. Yuuri looked at Viktor who nodded and said; "Yup! He's the one we need."

The next morning…

Viktor slowly started to sit up in bed, looking around a bit dazed, then says to the still sleeping person beside him; "Yuuri, wake up. It's morning." Yuuri starts to move up as well. Viktor yawns openly; What did we do last night? I can't remember…"

"I don't remember either…" Yuuri said sleepily, searching for his glasses at the same time. Instead he grabs nothing. "W-Wait, where are my glasses?"

"Here," Viktor replied, and gives his fiancé his glasses. Yuuri takes he glasses, sets them on his nose. Then suddenly…he feels something else beside him, still hidden underneath the sheets.

"Wait a min…" Yuuri says, hesitantly. Then suddenly the 'bump' starts to move up. The two skaters turn pale instantly.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" both Viktor and Yuuri scream as they move closer to one another, searching for protection.

"Maybe a pervert!" Viktor exclaimed, a cold shiver running down his spine.

"Stop talking nonsense!"

The 'bump' finally poked its head up from underneath the sheets. A pouty look written all over the owners face as he said; "A pervert?! Thank you Viktor-"

"CHRIS!" both skaters shouted in shock and surprise.

"Why are you here?! And naked," Viktor added.

"Oh, it's because I was the cameraman," Chris replied and winked at the two. "AND I'm naked because I always sleep like that."

Both Viktor and Yuuri didn't hear the last bit. They were too busy with forcing their brain cells to remember what on Earth they had done the previous night.

"Heh?! Cameraman?"

* * *

 **#88] I am not allowed to re-route the whole street, only because I want to make an entrance**

"Awesome!" Mr. Nikiforov grunted impatiently at the sight of orange traffic cones. Today of all days, when a huge road work was going on, Yakov HAD to call him and ask to bring Viktor to the free skate competition. Of course he couldn't say no, because what kind of father who also happens to be a cop, would let his famous (and very foolish) son walk to the rink? And on top of that, all his friends had to be picked up as well. Then when he finally got the last one in the car, Yuuri, he drove around the hotel to start on his way to the rink, but found himself stuck instead. There was no way going forward and no way of going back. As he waited for the car in front of his to move, Mr. Nikiforov drummed with his fingers on the steering wheel, impatiently. The long trail of cars were moving soooo slow.

Behind him, in the backseat, Viktor stiffened a laughter. His friends eyed him suspiciously, but they decided to be smart and not ask. If Viktor received another scolding, they could say they were not involved with whatever he had done.

"Hey, Papa, look!" Viktor said cheerful, poking his head over his dad's shoulder as he pointed at something ahead of them. "That sign says; 'Short kut to the Ice rinc, this way.' I think you should take it."

Mr. Nikiforov dragged in a deep sigh as he send a scowl at his son through the rear view mirror.

"Vitya, why do I get the idea this is one of your foolish, outrageous antics?!"

"Papa, how could you?" Viktor gasped dramatically as his hand clasped his chest. "I'm trying to help you. So you won't be stuck in traffic forever."

"Vitya, I know this is one of your foolish ideas. That sign is even the biggest proof in this universe."

"Seriously? It is?" Viktor tilted his head, reading the sign over and over in his head. "Nope. Can't see why you think I did that."

"Short cut is not spelled with a 'K', Vitya. Nor is rink spelled with a "C'. I have no idea why I still pay your school fees."

"So he won't be home all day and eat the fridge empty!" Yurio laughed.

"Hey!" Viktor exclaimed, sending a stink-eye to the six year old.

A little while later…

Mr. Nikiforov pulled up the car in front of the building. Viktor immediately jumped out, arms brandished.

"Hiya, dear fans! Guess who's here!" A mob of love-crazed fans started to cheer. Viktor started to look as radiant as the sun. "Yeah, I love you all, but this fan here stole my heart for realz!"

Not his smartest move, and Viktor realized it too when his poor Katsudon had to run away from an angry pack of jealous fans. Viktor immediately turned to face his dad, panic written all over his face.

"Papa, don't just stand there! Save my pork cutlet!"

* * *

 **#89] I am not allowed to become a couch, only because I want to see how people react**

Viktor just made the perfect suit for himself. One that camouflaged so well with the living room couch. All that was left for him to do was lie down and wait for a target. And his first target was his dad's partner.

"Seriously, Alek! We really need to get going!" Mr. Nikiforov's partner said impatiently as he entered the living room. Mr. Nikiforov was in the bathroom. "You need more time in there than your son, and he has long hair! Speaking about your son, where is..."

Mr. Nikiforov's partner was about to sit down on the couch when suddenly…

"NO, GET AWAY FROM ME!"

The poor man jumps away from the couch, staring at it with a pale face. Then his eyes start to scan the room, seeing no one else beside him. He merely shrugged then was about to sit down when suddenly a needle pricked his butt.

"AAAGH! THE COUCH IS ALIVE!" Mr. Nikiforov's partner sprints outside the room then down the hallway towards the front door, yelling at Mr. Nikiforov; "I'LL WAIT IN THE CAR, IF YOU DON'T MIND!"

* * *

Victim number two is Yuuri of course. Viktor decided to pull the same prank in the kid's hotel room suite. All he had to do was wait for Minako and Yuuri to return. How did he have a key? He's Viktor, dah. He always has a way to get inside, especially when he flashes his pool like eyes to a weak-hearted desk lady.

"Seriously, Yuuri, you need to tell your idol to stop sweet talking his way into our room when we aren't there!" Minako grunted as she and Yuuri finally returned. "I know he's your friend, but due to his recent antics he can't be trusted alone. Especially not in our hotel room suite. Who knows what he's going to do with your room. Or what kind of prank he pulled this time!"

Yuuri already wanted to roll his eyes after hearing ballet instructor's rant, but when he saw she eyed the entire suite suspiciously, he made a major eye roll. Then he sighed. "Minako, aren't you a bit overreacting? I mean, everything still looks the same to me and it looks like he isn't even here. He probably got bored and left."

"Yeah, you don't need to sound so disappointed, Yuuri. I know you wished he was still here, but I'm not. For once, I want an prank free day. Anyway, you check your room and I check mine. He might still be here." Her own words made her stock in her tracks and think for a moment. "You know what, never mind. I'll check them both. Who knows he's in yours doing things a twelve year old shouldn't see." Yuuri frowned, wondering what she meant until he heard her knock and yell; "Viktor, if you are in there and aren't dressed properly, get yourself dressed properly and get over here!"

No answer.

Yuuri rolled his eyes then decided to take a rest on the couch. After all, it felt like Minako had dragged him all across Russia to buy herself some new party dresses. Just when he was about to sit down, someone smacked his butt from behind. Yuuri instantly jolted back up and eyed the couch. That's weird. No one's there. Yuuri scratched his head, confused. Oh well, maybe he just imagined it. People can hallucinate all kinds of weird things when they are tired, right?

Yuuri eyes the couch one more time then shrugs and sits down. That's when he starts to frown even more. Since when did the couch feel less…comfy? It felt like he was sitting onto something that shouldn't be there. Why is that?

"Hiya, my piggy!" Viktor cried cheerful then removed the 'cushion' mask and revealed his cheeky grin. "My feet are comfy, aren't they?!"

"V-VIKTOR!" Yuuri exclaimed as his hand reached for his heart that was pounding in his chest. It took a few minutes, but he was finally able to calm down and yelled; "NEVER EVER DO THAT AGAIN! YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK!"

And with that, Yuuri grabbed a real couch pillow and started to swat Viktor's face with it. Not that Viktor cared. He couldn't help but laugh his head off which triggered Yuuri only more and more, swatting harder and harder.

* * *

 **#90] When Minako banned me from the hotel, I am not allowed to try other attempts to try catch a peek of my little piggy**

"That's it, Viktor!" Minako dragged Viktor by the shrubs of his neck down the hallway. As they arrive the elevators, one of them opens to allow other guests to get out. Without waiting for that to happen, Minako pushed Viktor inside, couch colored costume and all. The guests gave the both of them a quick odd look then rushed away. Minako put her hands into her hips. "Not only you gave my best friend's son nearly a heart attack, but you also triggered him long enough until he nearly destroyed the couch!"

"But Minako, we were also having fun!" Viktor wailed with sad pouty face.

"I don't wanna hear it, Viktor! Starting today, you are banned from our hotel suite!"

Viktor grasped at his chest dramatically, choking out; "NO!" The doors closed and the elevator started to descend with the heartbroken, silver haired skater inside. _"She-she just abandoned me. ME! VIKTOR NIKIFOROV! How could she do that to us, breaking us up like that? We complete each other. Me minus little piggy is like a rink without the ice."_ Viktor emitted some deep sad sighs. _"I need a plan. A loop-hole. What did she say? 'Banned from the suite…soooo…"_

The elevator doors opened and a happy Viktor skipped out, still wearing his ridicules costume and everything. He didn't mind. He had a plan.

Later…

Yuuri emitted some sad sighs as he lied stretched out onto his bed. Minako was angry. Pissed off, actually. She threatened to tell Mari. Not his parents, no Mari. Only because she knew Mari would back her up and his parents would only giggle and encourage him and Viktor more. And on top of that, she also ordered him to stay in his room. So not fair!

Yuuri just started to emit a few more sad sighs when his phone rang. The caller ID said; 'World's #1 figure skater.' Really? Viktor had gotten his hands on his phone and changed the names in his address book? Yuuri rolled his eyes then answered the phone.

"Vitya, what are you doing? If she finds out you…

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry about that, little piggy! I found a loop hole in Minako's so called master plan," Viktor said, sounding very cheerful. "I'm not allowed to be in your hotel suite for a while, but what if you actually come outside? We can go the rink and…

"She grounded me!" Yuuri blurted out, cutting his cheerful friend off. Yuuri heard some Russian spoken words on the other end and guessed it were insults addressed to Minako. Yuuri sighed sadly. "Maybe it's best to listen to her, Vitya. I have never seen her this angry. She wasn't even this angry when we tried to get matching tattoos, remember?"

"Yeah, you know what, little piggy? Don't you worry. I will come up with another, far more brilliant idea than this one was. I won't let Minako stand in our way, Yuuri!"

Viktor hung up, leaving Yuuri wondering what kind of crazy idea could possibly enter Viktor's head. Hopefully an idea that didn't involve breaking the law.

For a whole full hour, Yuuri didn't hear anything from Viktor. Not even a tiny text. Would that automatically mean he still didn't have a plan, or did something happen to him? What if Minako called Yakov too? That would be so bad, right? Yuuri's train of thoughts were interrupted by a weird, 'ploink' sound. It came from outside.

The Japanese figure skater frowned then walked towards his bedroom window to look outside. He couldn't believe what he saw. Viktor had bought himself a trampoline and placed it outside his hotel room. Now he was bouncing up and down, going higher and higher with every bounce. His long hair following him like a silky curtain. Yuuri was momentarily awe-stricken with how beautiful his hair looked that way. Then he shook his mind clear, opened the window and poked his head out.

"V-Viktor! What are you doing?!"

"Oh, you know!" Viktor kept bouncing up and down, higher and higher. At the same time, he tried to speak as well. "I bought…

…this trampoline…

…to jump myself…

...into your…

…room!"

"Whaaat?!" Yuuri scratched his ear.

"Yeah…you know…

…she abandoned…

…me from the…

…suite not…

…your room!"

"But Viktor, what about your stamina?!"

Viktor snorted nonchalantly. "My stamina is…

…perfect!...

…Nearly there…"

Yuuri's eyes suddenly widened.

"Viktor! Stop bouncing! Minako is coming over!" Yuuri quickly shut the window then turned around at the same time as his bedroom door swung open. The skater looked as innocent as he could.

Outside…

"Piggy-I-forgot-to-read-the-manual-and-now-need-your-help-because-I-don'tk-now-how-to-stop-bouncing!" Viktor choked out, rapidly, as he went down then up again. Minako's face turned red in rage.

"VIKTOR, YOU GET TEN SECONDS AND YOU BETTER BE GONE BY THEN OTHERWISE I'M GONNA PUMMEL YOUR BUTT SO HARD!"

As his face came up, Viktor saw a glimpse of Minako, rushing out to what she promised to do if he wasn't gone by then.

"Minako-n-not-fair! I-can't-stop-so-f-OUCH—cramp!"

Viktor finally did manage to stop himself from bouncing, but by then also Minako's dark shadow casted over him. Viktor still can't really tell how he possibly got away, being so tired and all. Must have been an temporarily adrenaline rush.

* * *

As promised, the little extra.

Yuuri looked a bit nervous at Takeshi. He and the bully were both dragged into the changing room by Yuuko, who wanted to show them something. She was all excited and little Yuuri wondered why. That's when she turned the TV on.

"Russia's Viktor Nikiforov! He won the gold in the Junior Worlds with the highest score in history!" Yuuko cried out, ecstatically. Takeshi stuck his tongue out as if he felt disgusted while Yuuri tried to look around Yuuko. Then she jumped one-eighty. "He's so cool!"

That moment, Yuuri had clear view onto the TV screen and saw a silver haired skater skate gracefully across the ice. Yuuri's eyes grew wider and wider when he recognized the skater. It was him. The guy who saved him from Takeshi. He was already his hero, but now definitely his most favorite figure skater. One day, he wants to meet him again and become just like him.

* * *

 **What did you think? Which one was your favorite rule? I love hearing from you, but just a fav or follow is just fine too xD**


	10. Valentine's Day Antics

**#91). I am not allowed to send myself to Yuuri as a valentines present**

Viktor grinned at the high, human-sized carbon box that just came in for him. It just needed a bunch of wrapping paper and some air holes and then it would be ready for him to use.

Hiroko entered the inn with crates and found the largely shaped box in the middle of the hallway then eyed it up and down with curiosity and read the card that was attached to it. Hiroko gloated excitedly then called for her husband to go get Yuuri to unwrap it.

Viktor grinned to himself. His position, knees all the way up to his chin, was a little unpleasant, but his plan was working. He heard Toshiya call out for his son.

"Yuuri! There's a present for you! Looks like it's from Viktor!"

Toshiya's words barely had left his mouth or Viktor heard quick footsteps in the distance that grew louder and louder as the person approached the largely sized box.

"Whoa! What could it be?!" Yuuri cried excitedly as soon he stood in front of the object. Then he frowned. "Wait. Shouldn't Viktor be here to see me unwrap it? I'll just go get

"HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, MY LITTLE PORK CUTLET BOWL!" Viktor yelled cheerfully as he jumped up and knocked the lid off with the top of his head. Then he had some hard time to get out of the box and figured the best way was to just drop himself with box and all.

"V-Viktor, don't…" Yuuri gasped, clearly reading Viktor's plan by just one look in his sparkling blue eyes, but it was already too late. Viktor knocked him with box and all to the ground.

Worried what they might witness next, Toshiya and Hiroko scurried away as they not wanted to be part of it. They had no reason at all to fear something bad had happened to their son because they could clearly see his arms and legs twitch and kick violently from under Viktor who hugged and kissed him wherever he could kiss him.

* * *

 **#92). I am not allowed to try force Yuuri to wear my 'valentine claim' card**

Viktor looked proudly upon his handiwork, a self-made heart-shaped card with the words 'Don't come close! I'm Viktor's AND ONLY VIKTOR'S valentine!" Yep, that should work.

"Yuuri!" Viktor sang excitedly as he dashed towards the Japanese skater's bedroom then kicked the door open and entered. The body hidden underneath the covers didn't move at all. Thinking his Yuuri was still sleeping, Viktor snuck closer then pinned the card onto the sleeping body. Suddenly the hidden object flew out of his hideout then across the room before the remains dropped in front of Viktor's feet.

Fearing he just might have killed his pork cutlet bowl, Viktor started to turn pale all the way up to the roots of his long silver hair. Then he quickly realized it was just a balloon with a painted face of Yuuri on it.

"Little piggy tricked me!" Viktor said then clenched his fist in determination and said; "I will find him and make him pay for it." He then sprinted out the door nearly bumping into Hiroko. "Mrs. Katsuki, have you seen Yuuri?"

"Oh, you just missed him, dear. He just snuck out through the back…" She didn't get the chance to finish her sentence, because Viktor already dashed away, holding the card in the air like a trophy.

Viktor sprinted out the back door just in time to see Yuuri cross the street then made a break for it when he saw Viktor. Viktor instantly pursued, yelling; "Yuuri, come back! You're not wearing my 'claimed as my Valentine' card! There are cougars out there, like Chris. He definitely needs to know you are mine! Yuuri, come back! I need your love!"

* * *

 **#93). I am not allowed to force Minako in baking valentine cookies**

Yuuri strolled inside the kitchen and found Minako, standing by the kitchen counter stamping heart shapes out of a ball of dough while shaking like a leaf. The twelve year old skater frowned then allowed his eyes to dart at the kitchen table where he found the source of her anxiety, Viktor Nikiforov. He was smirking widely as he kept his 'magical' stick pointed at Minako.

"I guess this is the moment where you want me to leave the room and pretend I haven't seen anything, am I right?"

Viktor bobbed his head up and down in a firm nod then grinned; "You got it, my little piggy. No one needs to know how I forced Minako into baking valentines cookies for my sweetest number 1 fan, who I dearly love."

Yuuri left the room with the biggest blush ever.

* * *

 **#94). I am not allowed to touch parts of Yuuri's body**

Yuuri is looking out the window when suddenly…

"Hiya, my little Yuuri…"

Yuuri froze when he heard Viktor whisper into his ear from behind then felt his hand on his lower back. Viktor then moved his fingers slowly up towards Yuuri's neck and finally tangled his fingers into his messy dark hair then squeezed the Japanese boy into his butt with his free hand.

"You like that, don't you?" Viktor whispered flirtatiously. Yuuri gulped then turned red. At that moment, Minako, who was assigned to keep Viktor in tow, entered the room with snacks and saw what Viktor was doing. She instantly swooped the snacks from one tray to the other then swatted Viktor's butt with the empty one.

"Viktor! How many times do I have to tell you, stop touching Yuuri's nose, ears and other body parts!"

Viktor however, proceeds pinching Yuuri's butt as if Minako isn't even there.

* * *

 **#95). I am not allowed to walk through Yu-topia in my underwear**

"Yuuri! What do you think of my new outfit?" Viktor cried cheerful as he dashed inside the dining room where Yuuri sat eating breakfast.

The Japanese skater looked up then nearly choked in his piece of toast when he saw Viktor, in his underwear, dashing up and down the room. His eyes grew wide then his lips formed an impressed smirk.

Mari, who entered the room and saw what kind of 'danger' her brother was exposed to, smacked Yuuri against the back of his head then hollered infuriated; "Yuuri, you're supposed to shut your eyes! And you, get yourself some proper clothes, you pervert!"

"But Mari, it's valentine's day which is supposed to be a day full of love! And this is my way of showing Yuuri I have no secrets for him," Viktor smirked. "Besides, you can't stop him from growing up, am I right, Yuuri?"

Yuuri, still looking at Viktor in awe, agreed with a slow nod of his head.

Mari gave both of them a pummel to the head before she chased Viktor out the room.

* * *

 **#96). Even though it's a good idea to think about my future, I am not allowed to test my parental skills on Yurio**

"Look! I found Yurio's old baby bottle!" Viktor cried excitedly, dashing inside Yuuri's room.

Yuuri looked confused then asked; "Viktor, what is Yurio's baby bottle doing here? In Hasetsu?"

"I have no idea. I found it in his sports bag, " Viktor said with a shrug then plopped onto the bed with a dreamy look on his face. "I still remember the day Mr. Plisetsky took him to my house and put his unwavering trust in me to be Yurio's babysitter. Ah, it were the best five minutes of my life."

Yuuri's frown grew bigger and asked; "You were Yurio's babysitter for five minutes?"

"Yes. Mr. Plisetsky needed to ask my papa for advice," Viktor said, waving his hand as if the detail wasn't that important. "Anyway, I felt like a papa myself. Yurio looked at me with his baby eyes and I gave him his bottle and-why do they need to grow up so fast?!" Viktor buried his head into his hands and started to sob. "I miss bottle feeding him."

Yuuri glanced awkwardly at Viktor for a moment then says, hesitantly; "You know, maybe one day you'll have a baby yourself. Then you can be a parent all over again and the baby ends up being a lot more sweeter and respectful than Yurio is. How does that sound?"

Viktor stopped sobbing and looked up. "You think so?"

"Yeah."

"You really think I will be a really good parent?"

"Of course…"

"I think you will be a great parent too, Yuuri. You like to have babies?"

Yuuri, clearing his throat awkwardly and wondering why the conversation suddenly starts to feel a tad weird, replies with a reddening face; "I think so…in the far future…and when I found the person who wants to have them with me and-oh, look at the time! I have practice right now."

"We will be great parents, Yuuri." Viktor started to gloat excitedly. "Especially when we are together. But it still seems so far away. I want to bottle-feed someone now."

While packing his sports bag, Yuuri blushed and mumbled; "Well, you'll just have to wait, Viktor. Also, maybe you should give Yurio his bottle back. Maybe it has as much emotional value to him as it has to you."

Viktor snorted loudly. "Yeah right. Yurio and emotional-wait." Viktor smirked. "Maybe we can test out our parental skills a bit. You know, bottle feed Yurio. I mean, he did take his bottle all the way to Japan, which could mean he still likes to drink from it."

"Viktor, I doubt…" Yuuri slapped his forehead when he saw Viktor sprint out the room looking for Yurio. A few seconds later a cat-like growl echoed through the inn and Yuuri quickly sped out then found Yurio, strangled into Viktor's tight grasp.

"Come on, be a good boy now," Viktor cooed as he held the bottle close to Yurio's lips. Yurio however, kicked his legs and swayed his arms in an attempt to free himself from the crazy, antic loving skater.


	11. Viktor Goes to School

**Viktor returns with a few new antics :D**

* * *

 **#97] I am not allowed to interrupt Yuuri's classes, or use ridicules pet names**

"Mrs. Katsuki!" Viktor ran inside the kitchen. A very frightened look was written on his face. He halted in front of the startled looking woman then grabbed her arms. After inhaling a deep gulp of air, he exclaimed, hysterically; "Mrs. Katsuki, don't panic, but it seems Yuuri is kidnapped!"

The teen skater held his hand to his forehead, dramatically, as if he was about to faint. Mrs. Katsuki merely smiled then said; "Don't worry, Vitya. I'm pretty sure everything is fine with Yuuri."

"You are a strong woman, Mrs. Katsuki!" Viktor wailed; "I wish I could be like you, but I can't! The image of my poor Yuuri kept hostage somewhere keeps running through my head!"

"He's fine, Vitya…"

"How can you be so calm and say he's fine?! He's forced to stay put in a small room, for who knows how long! They will force him to…

"Vitya!" Mrs. Katsuki grabbed the teen's hands then gently squeezed them. "Those small rooms are called, classrooms."

"Yes! I know!" Viktor exclaimed with a frightened and pale look. "Do you have any idea how horrible place it is? It's one of the main reasons I decided to become a teen skater! No school! No homework! No horrible teachers, and most important, no tiny rooms! If you're not saving him, I will! I have to protect my innocent cinnamon roll!"

And with that, Viktor barrelled outside the kitchen as fast as he could. Mrs. Katsuki shook her head when she watched the silver haired blur leave then said, loudly; "You don't even know to which school you have to go to!"

"This is a small coastal town, Mrs. Katsuki! How hard can it be?!"

* * *

Later…

Yuuri's English teacher looked up and was met with one extra student. He had long silver hair, was wearing some Russian tracksuit, and his blue ocean eye (the one not hidden behind his hair) seemed about to swallow his face when he ogled the student in front of him.

The teacher cleared his throat then asked; "And who might you be?"

Yuuri, making random doodles in his notebook, suddenly froze when he heard a familiar voice behind him, replying; "My name is Viktor Nikiforov. I'm Yuuri Katsuki's loyal and handsome vassal." Cue, wide smirk. "And I'm here on an important mission!"

"Really? And what might that "important" mission be, Mr. Nikiforov?"

Viktor beams like the sun; "Ogle at my cinnamon roll, duh."

Yuuri slowly slid down underneath his table to hide his enormous blush.

 **#98] Nor am I allowed to waltz inside when he's taking a shower after P.E.**

Yuuri, not sensing the danger that lurked at him, prepared himself for a quick shower after P.E. Once he felt the hot water on his skin, a voice whispered behind him in his ear; "You want me to help wash your back?"

"Vik-AAAGH!" Yuuri screamed in shock then felt himself slip onto the slippery floor, right into Viktor's arms. Viktor grinned.

"I'll take that as a yes.."

Luckily, Yuuri's class mates were there to safe him.

* * *

 **#99] No matter how lonely I am, I am not allowed to imitate multiple people then get engaged in a heated argument using each one of them**

"When will you ever start listening to me, you silver haired bubble head?!"

Yuuri, just exiting the changing rooms of Hasetsu Ice Castle, froze in his tracks when he heard the boisterous voice of Yakov, Viktor Nikiforov's coach.

"You see this hair on my head? It gets greyer and thinner each second!"

"To be fair, Yakov, it was already very thin and grey before you became my coach," Viktor's voice guffawed. "So you should blame Lilia for it, not me."

"Oh, you little…!" a female voice hollered in rage. "You better watch your tongue before I pull you over my knee!"

Yuuri's eyes widened in shock. Whoever this Lilia woman was, she sounded like a mean old hag. But what concerned him the most was the idea of his beloved idol being spanked.

"Ha, like you can catch me! I am way faster than you," Viktor's voice guffawed. What happened next, made poor Yuuri turn pale to the roots of his hair. First he heard a woman scream a battle cry, as if she was attacking someone. Then he heard the sound of someone would make when trying to stop someone. Then he heard Viktor's signature laugh.

"That's it! You come here if you dare!"

"No, Lilia, stop! He's not worth it!

"Hahahaha.."

Yuuri couldn't take it anymore and decided to come his idol to the rescue. He swung the door open with gusto and screamed; "No, wait! Please don't hurt…" The poor skater's mouth fell to his knees when he only found Viktor, lying on the ice as if someone attacked him.

"Yuuri!" Viktor cried in happiness when he saw his number 1 fan, and jumped to his feet with gusto, before running over to him and squeezing him into a tight hug. "You're finally here! I was so lonely that I had to entertain myself by imitating the two most horrible people in this world!"

* * *

 **#100] I am not allowed to organize a party, only because this story hit the 100th rule mark**

"Well, you did it, Viktor. I'm impressed!" Yuuri said as he watched his idol decorate the inn, on the inside and the outside. Yup, all the citizens of Hasetsu had to know the ice skater had broken is 100th rule. Though, there was still one thing that worried Yuuri. "Sorry for asking this, Viktor, but have you run this idea through with my parents? I mean, with the guests and all, and some of them already complained and…

"Wait! Who complained?" Viktor gasped then narrowed his eyes in suspicion; "I bet it was Chris! He's so jealous when you spend more time with me than with him. Or, he's simply jealous because I have way more better ideas than he has, and therefore are better company for you than he is. But yeah, whatever the reasons is, it's…

"Vitya?!"

"Ah yes, sorry…" Viktor smiled apologetic then replied; "Of course I have run this through with your parents. I believe your dad said, 'of course you can, as long there's beer.' So yeah, with one 'yes' in my pocket, I decided to ask your mom as well, and she replied; 'of course you can. You're part of the family now, Vitya…

"Wait, she said that?!"

"Yes she did! Also, last week, she told her friend I was her future son in-law." Viktor jumped off the stool he was using then took a long list from his pocket, handed it to the younger skater and said; "Please scratch Chris off of this list. I definitely don't want jealous people on my 100th rule party. Especially not because his jealousy might destroy what I have in mind for you and me."

Viktor exited the room with a flirtatious wink. Yuuri got a very bad feeling.

* * *

 **#101] I am not allowed to get myself drunk and propose to someone**

"Yuuri! Isn't this party great? Even Yakov is enjoying himself, look," Viktor laughed and pointed. Yuuri looked at the table across the room where his dad did weird animal impressions in front of his audience. It wasn't a big audience, just Yakov and Mr. Nikiforov. Though, they didn't seem to enjoy it as much as Viktor made it seem. Viktor slapped Yuuri on the back and said, gleeful; "My dad likes your dad! I can tell."

Yuuri just grimaced. He wanted nothing but hide far and away in a tiny corner. Viktor suddenly remembered something.

"Ah, yes, my surprise for you." Viktor put the glass champagne he was drinking on a table then searched for something in his pockets. It didn't take long before he took out a small box and said; "Tadaa!"

Yuuri's heart skipped several beats. Viktor wasn't going to do what he thinks he's going to do, right? Viktor cleared his throat to get everyone's attention then kneeled down in front of Yuuri. _"He is going to do what I think he's going to do!"_ Yuuri screamed inside his head.

"Yuuri, you are the sunshine in my life. You are my Katsudon, my love, my everything. Everything was so cold and lonely before you walked into my life…

"Vitya! That's enough!" Yakov roared, trying to separate the two apart by enveloping his arms around Viktor's waist and pull him away. Viktor didn't give up, though.

"Yuuri, will you take this as a symbol…

"VITYA! STOP…

"Yes!" Yuuri exclaimed, cutting Yakov off. Viktor smiled happily, squirmed himself free from his coach's grip and opened the small box, revealing a union ring. Yuuri looked at it, bewildered. "Ehm…Viktor…?"

Viktor beamed like the sun. "You like it? I know it's a bit weird, but you know, my papa won't let me near my money till I'm eighteen. I promise you'll get a real one, then. I love you, Yuuri."

Yuuri didn't know what to say. All he could was blush.

* * *

 **#102] I am not allowed to try use the Onsen at the same time as Yuuri**

Yuuri sauntered sleepily from his bedroom to the Onsen for his morning bath, not aware of Viktor following him. But that changes when he wants to close the door behind him and finds the silver haired skater.

"Hiya, Yuuri!" Viktor waved at the groggy person in front of him, a smile on his face. Then he dropped his pyjama pants with gusto. Yuuri's groggy mind instantly snapped awake.

"Viktor, NO!" Yuuri exclaimed then pushed Viktor back out the door. The Russian teenager tried to object, but failed miserably. He also lost momentarily his vision after Yuuri picked up the pants from the floor then threw it in his face. "Vitya, stay!" Yuuri said firmly then closed the door and locked it.

Viktor, clearly not pleased with the fact he was locked outside, knocked on the door then wailed; "Yuuri, I get that your shy and all, but this Onsen is meant for public bathing. Besides, I have seen you naked before. This see-through glass door hides nothing. Especially not from me."

Yuuri nearly fainted in fright.

* * *

 **#103] I am not allowed to declare war on Yakov [I should know taking Yuuri as hostage won't work]**

"VITYA! Are you even listening to what I'm trying to teach you here?!" Yakov barked in rage. Obviously not, because Viktor was engrossed with texting and posting pictures of him and Yuuri on his Instagram page. You could almost see smoke coming from Yakov's ears when he snatched the phone and hollered; "That's it, Vitya! You won't get this back until you did all of your homework!"

Viktor gasped loudly then wailed; "But Yakov, you said today would be my day off."

"From skating practice, NOT schoolwork! Your way too far behind, so get your act together and catch up with your homework!"

Viktor sighed then pouted; "But can I have my phone back, now? I still need to hashtag a few things below the post I was just uploading before you snatched the phone."

"No! Not before you made all your homework!"

Viktor sucked his lips in, indicating he was on the edge of having another tantrum. Yakov was used to them by now, and just stood up from the floor and made his leave. The young skater inhaled an exasperated breath then hollered; "This means war, Yakov! Give me back my phone or else…or else…" Viktor scanned his eyes through the room then spotted Yuuri who didn't seem to be aware of anything. Viktor grabbed the dark haired boy and pulled him down, locked his arm around him and yelled; "I declare Yuuri as my hostage until you give me back my phone, Yakov! My bad behavour will rub off on him, and you don't want that to happen! Then you have two mischievous bad-boys to deal with!"

The front door shut, indicating Yakov didn't care about Viktor's threats. Viktor was not pleased, but then saw Yuuri squirm in his arms and received an idea. Viktor smirked, wickedly.

An hour later, Yakov returned only to find Viktor still in 'wrath-mode.' Yuuri was lying on the floor next to him, tied up in a bunch of silly strings, trying to squirm himself free. It was somehow, futile.

Viktor puffed his chest then said with boisterous voice; "Behold, for I will keep this young boy hostage until you agree with my demands!"

Yakov rolled his eyes then walked to his room, nonchalantly.

* * *

 **#104] I am not allowed to offend Yuuri's classmates (not even when they deserve it)**

Yuuri walked towards the school entrance when he suddenly got knocked over by Takeshi, the school's bully.

"Takeshi-kun, stop being so mean!" Yuuko said, trying to protect her friend. Takeshi just laughed, evilly then strutted inside the school. Behind a bush nearby, Viktor clenched his fists. He would get that bully back for hurting his little katsudon.

In class…

"V-Viktor, what are you doing here?" Yuuri asked worriedly when he saw his favorite skater skip inside the classroom, schoolbag and all.

Viktor grinned then said; "I decided to join your school during my stay in Hasetsu. I figured this 'prison' might not be so bad when you're around." The skater hopped into the seat in front of Yuuri, which was next to Takeshi. Viktor eyed the latter then leaned closer and said, bluntly; "That eyeshadow looks amazing on you. I MUST know where you got it so I can buy it for my friend, Mila!"

It was hard to tell whether Takeshi turned red in rage or embarrassment.

* * *

 **#105] I am not allowed to act dramatically in school**

Viktor sighed impatiently, then finally the school bell announced it was lunchtime. The boy skipped outside the classroom, merely while dragging Yuuri and Yuuko along. Then they sat down in the school cafeteria.

The three students took out their bento boxes then suddenly, a voice announced a message over the PA system. Viktor dropped his chopstick, slid underneath the table, recoiled onto the floor, and screamed; "Yuuri! It's those voices again!"

Yuuko gave Yuuri a questioned look. The latter just sighed shortly then said; "Don't worry, he's never been to a school before. Everything is still new to him. he'll get used to it…eventually."

Yuuko nodded in understanding then two, very scared looking blue eyes appeared over the edge of the table, scanning everything like a frightened cat would do. Viktor then asked with tiny voice; "Yuuri, is it safe?"

Yuuri rolled his eyes then replied; "Yes Viktor, it's safe! Please sit down and eat."

Viktor climbed up from the floor then sat down and ate, but kept scanning the cafeteria, cautiously.

* * *

 **#106] I am not allowed to mess up the science experiment**

Viktor watched Yuuri follow the science test, step by step, as it was described in his science book. It was very boring, according to Viktor, so he snatched the book from under Yuuri's nose then gave it a quick glance.

"Yup! Got it!" Viktor said then tossed the book away and gently moved Yuuri out of the way. "Allow me, little Katsudon."

Yuuri looked frightened. "Viktor. Do you have any idea how the experiment works? You only gave it a quick look."

"Of course, little Katsudon. I'm an expert, you see, and a fast reader, too." Viktor grinned then rolled up his sleeves. "Watch and take notes, my pork cutlet."

Yuuri's mouth dropped wide as he watched Viktor add random powder and other random science ingredients into a flask then heated it up. It started to boil and fume dangerously.

"Viktor…?" Yuuri said, worriedly.

"Aw, don't you worry, Yuuri. I've done this many times in my home tutor's science lab, and trust me, it never blew up."

Yuuri eyed the science test, worriedly. The volume started to increase and the boiling became even worse. Yuuri felt it in his gut. This was not a good sign. He could even tell his science partner became nervous.

"Do you think we should duck, Viktor?"

Viktor nodded vigorously then both disappeared under the table, just in time. Viktor's science experiment exploded and engulfed the entire class and its students in purple smoke. As soon as the smoke vanished, Viktor and Yuuri saw the destruction it had left. Everything and everyone but them were purple colored.

Viktor smiled, sheepishly; "Sorry, guys, but you don't need to worry. It will all wash off in a week or so. Trust me, I know. The same thing happened when I did a science experiment in my home tutor's lab."

Yuuri frowned; "Wait, you said the science experiment never blew up."

"What? No, you silly. I meant that the lab never blew up during all my failed experiments. Trust me, I'm a disaster when it comes to stuff like this." Viktor laughed.

"And you said you were an expert!" Yuuri yelled.

Viktor snorted; "Yeah, an expert in failing and blowing up experiments." He had to run for that one, because Yuuri charged after him, furiously. Viktor wailed; "But, Yuuri, I at least warned you in time to duck, otherwise you would have been a purple Katsudon. You should thank me, you know?"

* * *

 **Which one was your favorite?**


	12. Chapter 12

**#107] I am not allowed to send Yurio to rehab**

"Viktor is mine, you hear me?! One day he will be my coach, not yours! He promised me!"

Despite being older than Yurio, Yuuri still shrunk in fear and just nodded. Who knew a six year old could have so much anger inside of him. Viktor watched it all from afar and stroked his chin. There had to be something to fix that anger, not to mention that obsession. Viktor then got an idea.

"Yurio! What you'll be needing is some serious rehab!" Viktor declared as approached the two skaters. The six year old dropped his jaws speechless then was carried out the ice rink by Viktor. Yuuri followed, worrying what the 16 year old had in mind.

A little while later the threesome stood in front of a rehabilitation center. Yurio was too young to understand what the word on the sign meant but, the sight of the building alone made him scared.

"NO! I don't want to go in there!" Yurio screamed. Viktor simply shook his head then carried the squirming and screaming child inside the rehabilitation center. Yuuri had no other choice but to follow.

A man dressed in squeaky clean white clothes approached them then asked after greeting first; "Has this child recently been acting completely out of control? Doesn't know how to follow simple rules and orders and threatened several people due to a peculiar obsession for a Russian teen skater who promised to be his coach one day?"

Viktor's and Yuuri's eyes nearly dropped from their sockets, that's how astonished they were about how accurate this doctor was. Both boys nodded their heads simultaneously.

The doctor inhaled a deep sigh then said; "Very well then. Just trust this child in our care and within a week he will completely cured. How does that sound?"

Viktor thought for a moment then replied with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders; "Sounds pretty legit to me!"

And with that, Viktor left Yurio in the doctor's care then he and Yuuri left the rehabilitation center on the soundtrack of Yurio screaming insults only Viktor could understand for they were all spoken in Russian.

* * *

 **#108]I am not allowed to protect Yuuri with Legos [I should know it's a dangerous weapon]**

Midnight crept over Hasetsu and everyone was sleeping peacefully except Chris. The Swish skater tiptoed sneakily towards Yuuri's bedroom then opened the door quietly and stepped inside. Then suddenly, he stepped onto something small and sharp.

"AAAAGH!" Chris screamed in pain but then, as he wanted to step his feet elsewhere, it landed straight onto something sharp, again. It went on and on. Wherever he put his feet, the sharp object was there too.

After being startled awake after Chris's first scream, Yuuri sat up straight, switched his light on and put his glasses on. He saw the horrifying sight of Chris doing a weird dance as he tried to avoid a bunch of Legos that were spread out on his bedroom floor. Then suddenly, he heard a second voice coming from the far corner of his room.

"Yeah, I knew this creeper wanted to sneak up on you and do horrible things to do you!" Yuuri switched his eyes to the corner and saw Viktor, looking clearly bemused his hunch feeling had been right.

Hours later Chris's coach heard about what had happened when he saw all the bruises and blisters underneath his skater's feet. Viktor looked on, clearly satisfied his plan had worked. Yeah, that would keep him away from Yuuri for a while.

* * *

 **#109] I am not allowed to act like a dog when being around Yuuri**

Yuuri was trying to focus on his skating routine when suddenly something heavy knocked him down onto the ice. Whimpering in pain, Yuuri opened his eyes and found Viktor atop of him, panting heavily with his tongue dangling from his mouth. He was wearing a pair of dog ears on his head and Yuuri didn't dare to look if he had a tail too.

As if Viktor could read Yuuri's mind, he suddenly snapped his eyes at his butt then chased the tail until he was exhausted and collapsed back into Yuuri's lap.

"V-Viktor…"

Viktor opened his eyelids revealing a pair of blue hues then said, tiredly; "Wroof…" and licked Yuuri's hand then fell asleep.

Yuuri wasn't quite sure what to think of Viktor's new antic.

* * *

 **#110] I am not allowed to scuba-dive naked in the onsen**

Yuuri was having a long, hot bath in the onsen when suddenly he had that eerie feeling of being watched. He looked around half expecting to see Viktor peeking at him through the glass door but Yuuri saw no one, unless Viktor was invisible. But that was not possible, was it?

Trying to shake off that eerie feeling, Yuuri closed his eyes and tried to relax. It didn't work, though. He opened his eyes just in time to see the air tube of an diving mask surface the water of the pool.

Frozen in fear and shock, Yuuri watched the 'tube' head towards him, slowly and steadily. His heart pounded in fright as the 'tube' closed the gap between them.

Suddenly realizing the danger he was in, Yuuri jumped faster than anyone would have expected up and out the onsen then wrapped a towel around his waist and stared at the water, wide eyed. It didn't take long before the mask appeared then the whole face.

"VIKTOR!" Yuuri exclaimed soon he recognized the face that floated on the water.

Viktor took the breathing tube from his mouth then quirked an eyebrow and asked with a confused look; "What?"

"You can't scuba-dive naked in the hot springs, Viktor!" Yuuri screamed over the sound of his racing heartbeat. "

Viktor frowned even more then said; "The general idea is to bath naked in a hot spring, yet, I am not allowed to…

"You know what I mean!" Yuuri yelled, cutting off Viktor's dense reply then sighed; "You should be aware that some men don't feel comfortable to bath with other men, let alone have a man sneak up to them with a scuba mask."

"If that's the case, those people should bath in the private area."

"This is the PRIVATE onsen, Viktor!"

Viktor rolled his eyes then harrumphed; "Still, you are in the wrong here, Yuuri, not me! I was here first!"

"How was I supposed to know you're here while you were hiding underwater?!"

"Well, duh! There's a clear sign on the door that says; 'in use,' see?" Viktor pointed at the glass door.

Yuuri looked at the glass door then slowly slumped his head into his hands, for Viktor had been so dense to not turn the sign and still said 'open' on the other side of the door.

Still not aware of his mistake, Viktor put his mask back on then smiled; "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some underwater exploring to do. If you'll join me I even might find a underwater cave."

And with that, Viktor gave Yuuri a playful wink then submerged underwater.

* * *

 **#111] I am not allowed to ask Yuuri to scratch my back [for obvious reasons]**

Yakov strolled past the men changing room when he heard some obscene noises coming from inside. On top of that he also heard Viktor's voice beg for Yuuri to **just** go a little lower, then heard him wail something that sounded like; "yes, yes, that's the spot. Oh, yes, Yuuri!"

Yakov's head filled with rage then kicked the door to the changing room in and saw the horrific sight of Viktor's scarlet red scratched back. Both boys turned their heads in surprise. Viktor then smiled and waved.

"Oh, Hi, Yakov. Do you also think there's nothing more worse than having itch where you can't reach? Lucky for me I have Yuuri to help me with that."

Without a word and a look of embarrassment, Yakov backed away out of the room, slowly.

* * *

 **#112] I am not allowed to change someone's ringtone**

Otabek was washing his hands in the restroom when suddenly a very obscene moan came from inside one of the stalls. It went on for a bit and he could hear someone struggling with something. Then he heard a splash and the obscene noise died down, slowly. The door opened and revealed Yurio. The six year old's face instantly flashed red when he spotted Otabek.

"T-that, uhmm.. the old fart changed my ringtone!" Yurio quickly yelled, to defend himself. "You better not think I was doing something else in there!"

Otabek quirked an eyebrow then said; "Wait, you aren't even old enough to know what that sound meant."

Yurio rolled his eyes then snapped; "Yeah, you might be three years older than me but I am not dumb! Besides, you will never ever forget that sound after your grandfather ate a entire bowl of Borscht!"

"Y-yes, of course…" Otabek replied then quickly rushed out the restroom, embarrassed.

* * *

 **#113] I am not allowed to use a stethoscope for stupid purposes**

Mrs. Katsuki was cleaning the tables when she saw Viktor strut inside wearing a pristine white doctor's outfit and a stethoscope around his neck. Without giving her a second glance, the teenage skater strolled over to where Yakov sat, watching TV.

Without a word, Viktor kneeled down next to Yakov then plugged the stethoscope into his ears and placed it on top of the man's head then listened intensely. Yakov slowly addressed his eyes from the TV screen at Viktor, looking very displeased.

"What do you think you are doing, Vitya?!"

"Ssh…" Viktor said then whispered; "I'm trying to listen whether Lilia is right or not when she said you have sawdust between your ears."

Yakov started to grind his teeth in rage then opened his mouth to give the teen the worst talk of his life but was shushed once again. Viktor then finally sighed and said with a depressed look; "Lilia might have been right, Yakov. I think I've heard some beetles inside there as well. You should definitely do something about it. I can give you a potion I made…

"GET OUT!"

Viktor glanced one more time at his fuming coach then shook his head and emitted a saddened sigh as he stood up then walked out the room, mumbling; "Some people can't be helped."

* * *

 **#114] I am not allowed to blast explicit songs in the ice rink**

Yuuri was busy with his skating practice under the watchful eye of his coach when suddenly…

 _"_ **You and me aint nothing but mammals so let's do it like they do on the—**

The loud music was suddenly cut off. Yuuri stopped then turned and saw Viktor rubbing the back of his head with a painful expression. His other hand was holding a boom-box radio. Celestino, Yuuri's coach, stood beside the teen glaring at him angrily.

"How many times do we need to tell you, don't try to whoo Yuuri with explicit songs!"

Viktor pouted but was smart enough to not provoke Yuuri's coach then turned and walked off, promising himself he would try again some time later, when Yuuri was all alone.

* * *

 **#115] I am not allowed to harass my neighbour in the stall next to me**

Mickey was busy doing his thing when suddenly a wad of toilet paper came from under the neighbour's toilet stall into his. There was something on it. It was brown and smelling disgusting. Mickey knew, without a doubt, it could only be one thing.

"Viktor, that's disgusting! You know how much I hate peanut butter!" The Italian skater roared in anger.

"Oops, wrong stall…" Viktor's voice called out. "Can you kick it back, please?"

Suddenly an anger voice came from Viktor's other neighbouring stall; "Vitya, if you dare to throw your peanut butter wads into my stall, I'm gonna go look for another skater!"

"Aw, Yakov! Why you always have to ruin the fun for me?!" Viktor wailed.

And with that, Viktor left the restrooms and went looking for another fun antic to do.

* * *

 **#116] I am not allowed to bother Mrs. Katsuki with my life's problems**

Mrs. Katsuki was busy cooking in the kitchen when suddenly Viktor walked in with a saddened look on his face. Before the woman even had the chance to ask what was wrong, Viktor already had launched himself into her arms and cried.

"It's not fair, Mrs. Katsuki! Celestino guards Yuuri like a Pitbull all day, and Yakov ruins my pranks! Not to mention my once beautiful long hair starts to become very thin these days and I saw something that looked like the beginning of my baldness. On top of that, Yurio keeps calling me names which only proves I am getting old!"

Mrs. Katsuki patted the young teen on his hair as comfort while using her free hand to stir the food and listened to Viktor complaining about all his life problems. What other choice did she have? Viktor latched onto her with a very powerful hold.

"You know what, Mrs. Katsuki? You are a great listener, and I'm a very proud to say that one day you are going to be my svekrov!"

And with that, Viktor dried his face then dashed outside the kitchen, leaving a pondering Mrs. Katsuki behind. What on Earth was a svekrov?

* * *

 **#117] I am not allowed to blame Yakov for my unfulfilling childhood**

Celestino strutted past the changing rooms when he suddenly heard a small child's voice coming from inside. The coach quirked an eyebrow. It definitely didn't sound like Yurio, nor Otabek. It sounded more like Viktor but that wasn't possible, was it?

Curiously, the coach peeked inside and found Viktor sitting on the floor dressed in a shirt with a picture of Makkachin's head. The part that really weirded Celestino out was the fact it was too short for him, just like his matching pants. Also, why was he playing with a banana?

"Hey, Celestino!" Viktor cried happily and waved. Any normal human being would be embarrassed after being caught in situation like that, but not Viktor. He beamed like the sun and held up his banana, showing it to Celestino. "Look, I'm going to save the world with this potato!"

Celestino inhaled a deep breath then asked; "Viktor, that's a banana. You should know, because you are sixteen for crying out loud!"

"That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to use my imagination!" Viktor snapped back. His angry eyes then turned sad and said as he dropped them; "Thanks to Yakov's strict training schedule I was never allowed to be a child and play. Now, when I'm older, I try to steal time and pretend I'm a child again. Is that so wrong?"

Celestino dropped his jaws speechless then slowly backed out the room, wondering what Yuuri saw in that strange Russian skater.

* * *

 **#118] I am not allowed to wear camouflage and sneak around like I think no one can see me**

Yuuri entered the private onsen and found Viktor standing in the corner facing the wall. The Japanese skater rolled his eyes.

"Viktor, only because you wear clothes similar to the color of the stoned wall, doesn't mean I can't see you!"

Without a word and still facing the wall, Viktor slowly slides out the door.

* * *

Yuuri entered his bedroom then, when he switched the light on, he found a tiny, human shaped mountain matching the color of his carpet. The young skater inhaled a deep breath then walked to the bathroom, without a word.

Ten minutes later, dressed in his pyjamas, Yuuri came out the bathroom then stepped into his bed.

"Good night, Viktor. I hope the carpet is soft enough for you."

And with that, Yuuri switched the light off.

Viktor mumbled displeased.


End file.
